Hey, you’re having a big ‘ol honkin’ birthday party thrown for you – and you get to choose who’s invited! Only catch is, it has to be their birthday too.
So, what’s happening at your party?
I’ll be having James Spader and Pete Postlethwaite act out a two-man story that Charles Dickens wrote just for the occasion. Eddie Izzard and Chris Rock will be providing the comedy. Then we all get loaded and beat the crap outta Ashton Kutcher while Garth Brooks plays Friends In Low Places over and over again.
Two sites that can help – one with no pop-ups, and one with more content, but tons of pop-ups. And, of course, you can always use the IMDB.
My birthday is tomorrow, so I hope my guests don’t have anything special planned.
Rosalind Russell and Bruce Dern will perform scenes, Noah Wyle will tell stories of working on ER, Michelle Phillips and Nikka Costa will sing and Dr Ruth will tell dirty jokes.
Given that Abner Doubleday, Derek Jeter and Babe Didrikson Zaharias all share my birthday, and it’s on a Saturday this year, we can have a hell of a pickup baseball game. Others attending the picnic are Pearl S. Buck, Greg Lemond (who can come on his bike), and Harriet Wheeler, whoever she is. Chris O’Donnell will be my date (;)), Eleanor Parker and Peter Lorre can provide the entertainment, and Chris Isaak can sing “Happy Birthday”.
George Washington will recreate his famous ‘crossing the Delaware’ scene with Luis Bunuel directing, co-starring Robert Young and Sheldon Leonard. Chopin will compose and perform the score.
Then Steve ‘the Crocodile Hunter’ Irwin will wrestle Dr. J for our amusement.
After it is discovered that Teddy Kennedy drank all the booze, I will kick everyone out so that Drew Barrymore can finally give me my birthday present.
I guess I could have Tobey Maguire and Julia Duffy come over, and we could summon the spirit of Helen Keller to wish her well. Ross Perot can come only if he agrees to pay for everything.
**Eddie Murphy ** will be doing a comedy routine. Amanda Bynes, Jennie Garth, David Hyde Pierce, and **Alec Baldwin ** will be putting on a skit written by Marlon Brando. There will be skiing lessons taught by Picabo Street. **Jane Goodall ** will have a chimpanzee with her and will show all of us how to communicate with him. And last but not least, there will be concerts by Wayne Newton and **Tony Orlando **.
Stevie Spielberg will be directing the latest Betty Grable movie. Brad Pitt has changed teams and has decided to spend eternity with me. However, Jen is kinda pissed that she wasn’t invited to the party, so she’s sending Keith Richards to burn the house down.
Happy Birthday!