If Jesus is Lord, why isn’t everybody Christian? 
I always like how in the Chickiverse salvation is essentially a function of who you talked to last: if you get hit up by a Chickolyte in the first few panels, you’re bound to get put crook later by a Muslim/Catholic/Satanist/homosexual, and then you’re headed for eternal hellfire; if on the other hand the Chickolyte gets in the last word, you’re pretty much jake as far as heaven goes. The moral seems to be that you should just believe anyone you speak to on the subject of religion, and hope that they’ve come in at the right part of the strip.
You gotta be amazed by the way this total jerk can insinuate his pet hatreds in the most unlikely of ways. I hate to break it to him, but Masons now use the world dildo when we just have to symbolize the male organ. I really shouldn’t reveal this, you know.
“Wait-- Jesus is God?”
“Absolutely!”
“Then why did He leave heaven?”
“Because everybody’s hiding something.”
This may be the perfect distillation of Chick Dialogue right here. The Perfect Innocent finds a spiritual mentor to teach Jesus’ message, which instantly turns into an nightmare journey through an endless labyrinth of global conspiracy.
We can joke about the man’s comics; but in all seriousness, I think it’s probably extremely lucky for everyone concerned that Jack Chick stumbled on such an outlet for his religious ideas. If Jesus ever influenced this guy, it was surely in the decision to preach his dark, weird gospel via whimsical little comics, rather than in some medium more likely to be viewed as spiritually authoritative. I venture to guess that few fundamentalist evangelicals have ever capped off an anti-Catholic (or anti-evolution, anti-Jewish, anti-Muslim etc.) sermon by quoting Jack Chick. He’s probably heavily exploited for church Powerpoint presentations though.
I can do it too!
If Jesus is Jewish, why isn’t everybody Jewish? :j
If Jesus is celibate, why isn’t everybody celibate?
Also, what struck me is that this guy, who’s never heard of the Pope, is talking to his uncle, who actually met him. The hell?
I want to know why his neighbor is only just now explaining the gospel to him. Seems suspicious.
-FrL-
This idea isn’t by any means monopolised by the RC Church, though.
Must be one worn-out organ by now. Don’t they even have a spare?!
:dubious: I beg your pardon, you mean the RC Institution.
Wow, so the caesars saying they were gods weren’t deluded or lying for a position of power, they were actually agents of Satan! It almost seems like every Chick tract villain isn’t really responsible for their own actions but can ultimately trace blame back to Satan. Since there seem to be very few people who actually make it to heaven in the Chick universe, Satan’s army must be huge. If you ask me, Satan’s got a much better ground game than God. God doesn’t stand a chance.
Yeah, but God has a better air attack. Check out Jesus hovering on the cloud.
I don’t understand this passage: “Her power is no longer blocked by Protestantism. It’s all but gone.”
To what does “it” refer? Clearly not “her power”, or the two sentences are contradictory. Is Protestantism “all but gone”? Doesn’t Chick consider himself a Protestant? Or his he some sort of pure generic Christian?
I think he considers himself almost the last Protestant.
No, he does not consider himself to be a Protestant. Yes, he does consider himself to be a pure, generic Christian, and he considers that to be the only “true” Christian there is.
Or so I surmise.
What trips me out is the second panel: Even the TV journalist reporting the pope’s death looks eeevul. What’s up with that?
Well, he certainly places a lot of importance on Martin Luther. But, in one of his comics, he portrayed Christians fleeing into the mountains to be safe from the false “Christianity” proclaimed by Emperor Constantine – implying an underground survival lasting centuries, like Gardner claimed for the Wiccans.
His bosses made him stand outside in a thunderstorm for no good reason, and the doofus holding the umbrella couldn’t even get it over his head. I’d be looking pretty evil too!
How old is this guy? Chick tracts have been inserted under wiper blades for decades prior to the Interweb.
I’m thinking Jack Chick is a self-replicating fleshbot, weaned on Elders of Zion pamphlets, and incapable of learning anything new.
Maybe “Jack Chick” is one of those “Dread Pirate Roberts” deals, where a new one takes over every so often.
I spent most of this one trying to place the face of the goateed protagonist, our dewy-eyed tabula rasa, our innocent yet intrepid seeker of arcane information.
Then I went back to the beginning, and saw that somebody called him “Jimmy,” and it dawned on me: This tract is about The Saving of James Lipton.