Have you ever asked yourself why you are friends with a particular person? I have one friend that I can not stand. I am not a mean person, but this girl always manages to push me to the point of anger. Take, for example, my most recent conversation with this girl. To set this up, you have to know that I have known her since we were 5 years old. I got married this past October, and didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid. The reason I didn’t ask her is another story. She apparently, feels bad that I didn’t ask her, but won’t ask me why I didn’t. Not wanting to open that smelly can of worms and the inevitable flood of tears that will come with it, I will not bring it up. Turns out that another friend of hers is getting married this month, and has asked her to be the Maid Of Honor. Good for her. Now all she talks about is this girls wedding, and how beautiful and wonderful it will be. Again, good for her. The thing that gets to me is how she brags about how much she is doing for this girl and how she insinuates that I missed out in not having her in my party. Whatever.
During the course of the last conversation I had with her, she was telling me all about what the bride was planning for after the reception. “Well”, she says, “Lisa (the bride) wants us all to go back to the hotel afterwards to play strip poker.” I could control myself no longer. I asked her what the hell was up with that, and she got all snotty with me. She was acting like she couldn’t believe I said anything. I told her that I was just surprised that a bride, on her wedding night, would want to play strip poker. I said that the reason I found that strange was that I just assumed that the bride would want to be with her husband on their wedding night, not playing strip poker with the bridal party. “Well”, she said, “it’s not like he’s not going to be there!”
I have not heard from her in a couple of days, and that’s just fine by me. Am I wrong for saying anythig? I’m not a big prude, but come on, strip poker on your wedding night?
Yeek.
I’m just trying to figure out the rationale here from the bride’s point of view.
“Well, I might as well make sure I’m not a lesbian before we get married. It would be so embarrassing if I found out I was sexually attracted to women after I married a man.”
“It’ll make our honeymoon that much better- my hubby will be fantasizing about what went on it that room for months!”
And, possibly the most likely:
“With this deck of marked cards, I can win back everything I’ve spent on this wedding by fleecing my closest friends!”
Good grief.
JMCJ
This is not a sig.
I have a friend who’s a total flake. He wants to be a movie producer, but is unwilling to do the grunt-work required to get there.
I’ve never met anyone so pretentious. We were in a bar one night and he called someone on his cell phone, telling them all about the party he (allegedly) went to at the Playboy Mansion. I wouldn’t look at him, feigning interest in the football game on the teevee, but I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was looking around the bar to see if anyone was paying attention to him.
I let him move in for a year because I’m a good guy and wanted to help him sell his screenplay. He had a job, but “never got paid”. He didn’t quit though. He got an excellent position with a client he worked with. As soon as he got an advance on his commission, he disappeared for three days. Hooked up with a crack whore and spent the time drinking, fucking and getting high.
I think the only reason I put up with him is because we’ve been freinds since we were four years old. Longevity counts.
But I am extremely careful not to let him take advantage of me. I even got rid of the futon in the living room in case he wants to crash here.
I think you overreacted Blue and I think it behooves you to contact your friend and provide the Board with the following details:
- Age of your friend and the bride.
- Physical attributes of members of bridal party (honesty not required).
- Female to male ratio in wedding party.
- Expected amount of alcohol to be consumed.
Further details as you see fit would also be appreciated.
Stop being so close-minded and see the big picture.
Blue, I know how you feel. I have a friend that has always been a thorn in my side. Your friend sounds a lot like her.
Two months ago, I asked my “friend” to be in my September wedding (out of obligation) and she said no because she is moving in January. Hellooo??? You can’t save $150 for a dress and maybe $20 for a gift in NINE months??
Here’s the backstory: We were, at one point, engaged to best friends. The “boys” decided to break up with us one Christmas Day and since then we had been roommates for about two years. She is the only one allowed to have a life and if the spotlight isn’t on her, she gets jealous. So when I met my new fiance, she started being really cold to me. When I moved out, she hardly called. So when she said no to being in my wedding, I was actually relieved.
I’m glad she’s not in my life anymore and so are all of my friends and family (none of whom liked her anyway).
Blue, so maybe this is your “out”, so to speak, of the friendship. Good luck.
“Cliiiiiiffffff!!!”
I also have a person that I am “friends” with that I cannot understand why. I think it is because she doesn’t have any friends and doesnt make friends easily. She will call me every single night for like 3 months (she lives long distance) and talk for at least a couple of hours. Then it could be 3 or 4 months before I hear from her again. She has some real problems in dealing with people. Once she finds a guy that she likes…she stalks him until finally he threatens her with legal papers. It is a never ending cycle. It’s the free time right now…I haven’t heard from her in a week.
“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda
Senior Intern to
El Presidente
Self-Righteous Clique *
The bride is a 30 year old NYC cop, who is built like a Mac truck. I don’t know what the groom looks like. My friend is 27, and nothing to write home about. The bridal party consists of 8 men and 8 women, not including the bride and groom, and assorted flowergirls and ringbearers. I’m pretty sure the flowergirls will not be invited to the strip poker game. As far as the adults go, they are primarily cops and paramedics, so use your imagination. I’m sure they will be drinking heavily, so alcohol will play a big part in the after-party.
As far as my over-reacting goes, I just find it strange that following a $20,000. wedding, where the bride will arrive at the church in a horse-drawn carriage, where the flowers alone cost over a grand, and the reception will be held in a country club, that the bridal party will engage in a game of strip poker. I dunno, I just don’t think that makes sense.
Maybe it’s me.
Blue, I don’t think you’re overreacting. I’m not a prude, but there’s just something wrong with that. It seems like something they would’ve done at the bachelor/bachelorette party instead.
“Cliiiiiiffffff!!!”
I mispoke. Maybe not wrong, but at least odd.
“Cliiiiiiffffff!!!”
I’m with you, Blue. I couldn’t imagine getting married and then doing something like that rather than spending my wedding night with my husband. Even if I didn’t do anything with him that night, I’d still want to spend it just with him.
When are you going to realize being normal isn’t necessarily a good thing?
Blue Twylight:
[not quite completely serious]People actually do play strip poker? I thought that was just a UL? [/not quite completely serious]
It does seem strange, but then I’ve never heard of anyone actually playing strip poker, so what do I know. Apparently I’ve also missed out on naked Twister. And skinny-dipping. (I just can’t quite grasp people doing these things. sigh)
HELLO! What? Let me make sure I’m getting this right. The night of the wedding, right after the reception, she and the rest of the wedding party - mixed company - are going to a hotel to play strip poker, and the groom is NOT going? What’s he doing, getting a hooker?
Absolutely not. You expressed your feelings about the situation, and they are rational. If they feel it’s fine, I guess it’s not your place to tell them it isn’t okay, but if she’s bragging in your face about it, then she’s asking your opinion.
fuzzy-wuzzy said:
She sounds so right for me. Sign me up!
I have a couple. One is actually a friend, we get along pretty well, and she isn’t a psycho, but we have absolutely NOTHING in common, and sometimes she just really pisses me off. She’s completely self-centered and image-driven, it drives me crazy. Her favorite topic is, of course, herself, and she loves to talk about working out, how much she weighs, how much she used to weigh, etc., etc. Argh. But we’re still friends.
The second one…I have no idea. We’ve been friends since seventh grade, and maybe back then, our maturity level was about the same, she has definitely not progressed accordingly. She has all these high aspirations in life, and there is no way she has the brains to accomplish any of them. I can’t say that any nicer. The last time I saw her, during winter break, I had to define two words I said to her. And I don’t exactly speak like a dictionary! She doesn’t even have a complete grasp of the English language! She lives in a complete fantasy world (“I want to be a Hollywood producer.” Uh-huh) and I just have a hard time taking her seriously. Funniest thing she ever said: “I don’t like the Simpsons because they always wear the same clothes!”
~Harborina
“This is my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end. That’s where I saw the leprechauns.”
Amazingly Kyla, I have a friend just like that. Actually, she is my best friends sister, but I see her so often, I guess I consider her a friend. One day I happened to be at her apartment alone with her for a little while, and just to make conversation, I asked her about her dog. I asked her what kind of a dog it was, even though I knew it was a pit-bull. She told me, 'It’s a runt pit bull." Since the dog looked about the right size, I said “Well, he doesn’t look like a runt to me.” She looked me straight in the face and asked me what runt meant. I was taken aback, because she had just used that very word to describe him, and yet there she was, asking me to define it. I told her that the runt of the litter was the smallest puppy out of all the puppies the mommy dog gave birth to, not a breed of dog. She just kind of laughed, and said ‘Oh!’.
This is the same girl who told me, with a straight face, that she never knew the sun and the moon were 2 different things. She thought the moon “glowed in the dark at night.” I didn’t even try to understand.
My earlier post did mention that honesty was not a requirement for the physical description.
Looks like none for me tonight.
I have an old friend that I haven’t talked to in about a year and a half. We’ve known each other since we were in 7th grade, and I like her, and I kind of miss her, but things are too strange for her.
The bottom line with her (and it took years for me to figure out what made her tick) is that she is a perpetual victim. She would rather get the short end of something (in fact, will often make sure she gets the short end) and then whine and hope to get sympathy for it. I don’t know - I think she may have some sort of emotional disorder, but since she is in such strong denial about it, I don’t see how she’ll ever get help. Maybe in the last year and a half, she has. One can hope.
The final straw was when I was coming to visit her area (we live in different states) and I emailed her a month before to tell her I was coming, and could she email be to let me know what her schedule was? I also told her about the death of an old friend, that she had known also. No answer. I emailed her again a few weeks later. Still no answer.
Anyway, I figured that she couldn’t fit me into her schedule. She has a habit of “dropping out of sight” for long periods of time. (She expects her friends to wait around for her, and begging her to resurface. Well, I didn’t have the time or patience for that.) So, when I am on my trip in her area, I have already booked myself up. No flies on me - when I plan a trip, I really go for it. So, halfway through my trip, I get an email from her (I picked up my email at internet cafes, etc.) asking me when I am visiting her? I write back saying, “Sorry I missed you, I’m all booked up already. Why didn’t you write back sooner?” (And I really was.)
She writes back with this whole diatribe about how I should have called her when I was in town to make arrangements to visit. HELLO! It was too late by then! I had made all my plans before I flew out! Besides, she had totally ignored me when I tried to contact her!!! I asked her if she had gotten my two emails, including the one with the rather grave news about the old friend’s death. She replied, yeah, and sorry about the friend, but she just didn’t find the time to write back. (Everyone else who knew him sent out sympathy cards and emails immediately upon getting the news, she didn’t even give a shit to respond or acknowlege it, apparently.) Things went downhill from there. She obviously felt like I should have kept on writing and writing and making no plans until she deigned to respond. I told her that it didn’t work that way, that a correspondence was a two-way street, and that she would actually have to (gasp!)acknowledge my emails so I could make plans. After that, she refused to answer any more emails, and I admit, I really didn’t try to pursue it any more.
Well, enough about my tale. Blue - your friend sounds annoying, and that bride sounds like she has an odd wedding planned. Just be glad that you aren’t going to be a part of it!