Ok so like I met this girl who was my friends cousin . A couple of days later I called her up to tell her I had a major crush on her and she started laughing cause we hardly knew each other. Anyways that was a couple of months back and we talk on the phone around thrice a week . Meeting up is like really difficult cause she works from morning to night and comes back at around 9 in the night and I have my final exams going on. Anyways we still maganged to go out 5 - 6 times for coffee and drives which I think went pretty well. She even called me from out - station once and we talked for like half hour or so. Now my problem is whats going on in her mind. At times she sounds just bored talking to me on the phone , and at times she calls me up for a date. I really like this girl and want this thing to work and I have no idea what to do . I havent brought up the topic of me liking her or her liking me or anything of that sort. Help me here Dopers!!!
PS : There is no way Im asking her if she likes me or not , cause if she doesnt then it will screw everything up and I really atlease want to be good freinds with her
Hang on, you’d rather NOT know what’s really going on in her head and just hope she likes you? Mate, she likes you - otherwise she wouldn’t be calling you for chats or dates.
My own experience with women has been that they’re as confusing as they are amazing. Just ask her! Presumably she respects you and, if she is not interested, would not turn you down in a manner designed to hurt your feelings.
And you know the other bonus? She just might like you as much as you like her - and has just been waiting for you to say something… you never know!
Ask her! And tell us how you went 
Max
GQ is for questions with factual answers. I’ll send this thread over to IMHO.
I asked my lady psychologist to explain woman’s logic once. She said you can’t because they aren’t logical.
I had to laugh at her cause she is a woman, an older lady too. I don’t think men are any
easier to understand.
I think it’s clear she likes you enough to be friendly, but there’s not enough to go on yet to decide more. For example, I had a slew of guy friends in HS, and called them often, went out for coffee, and so on but I felt entirely platonic towards them. How is she phrasing her requests for “dates”? Are you always alone? When you’re on the phone or out together, what do you talk about? If she’s using you as a sounding board for talking about other guys, ex’s, etc. then it doesn’t look good. If you guys talk about common interests/friends/family/seeing each other again it’s likely she’s interested too.
What exactly are you thinking would be different once it’s been established that you “like” each other? If you’re hoping for a little action (how old are you, btw?), my guess is it’s too early for that since you aren’t even comfortable enough to ask her how she feels about you. If you just want to establish yourself as a couple so that it’s Official, I’d say it couldn’t hurt to ask.
Be aware though, that if you come at this girl with declarations of love right away you’re going to flip her out. We really, really hate that. Take it nice and easy. Reach over and hold her hand while you’re out walking. Hold the door for her. Just be yourself, and see where it goes. Chances are she’s just as nervous and uncertain as you are.
bella
The stereotype goes something like this: women are intuitive whereas men are deductive, but each expects the opposite sex to be the same as they are. The typical conversation goes like this:
Him: How are you?
Her: Fine.
He thinks: I wonder what’s for dinner?
She thinks: My day was horrible! Why isn’t he holding me? Why doesn’t he understand me?
Then they end up complaining about a lack of communication. I’m exaggerating a bit here, but this largely encapsulates my experience with women so far. The best relationships, as far as I can tell, are where the guy develops just enough intuition (or more like, he learns to read between the lines) while the woman gives just enough communication for the guy to take a hint when needed.
To illustrate the point: a female friend recently confessed that she had a crush on me last year. I had absolutely no way of knowing this, as she was always being rude to me at the time.
…or maybe that’s how I should have known it.
They’re bitches, they’re lovers,
they’re children, they’re mothers,
they’re sinners, they’re saints.
They do not feel ahsamed.
It’s a vast, gender-wide conspiracy! Every woman is in on it. That talk that every mother has with her daughter about “the facts of life” is really the time that their daughters get initiated into the “Sisterhood”. The pretext of talking about “the monthly thing” is how they keep guys from wanting to present during this discussion. Guys run from any hint that “girl things” are to be the topic. This is how they keep the whole thing secret. (It’s about the ONLY thing they CAN keep secret!) They compare notes and brush up on their techniques each time they all go to the bathroom together.
Thanks for the insights Belladonna. and no I’m not hoping for any action. And i’m 19!! I just like being with her , We just talk general stuff when we meet up and im pretty sure she not using me!! one more thing whenever we go out for a date she always wants to share the bill. Now is that a good sign or a bad sign??
The Female always makes the Rules.
No Male can possibly know all the Rules.
The Rules are subject to change at any time without notification.
If the Female suspects the Male knows all the Rules, she MUST immediately change some or all of the Rules.
The Female is NEVER wrong.
If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said.
If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologise immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
The Male MUST never change his mind without written consent from the Female.
The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
The Female MUST, under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
Any attempt to document these Rules could result in bodily harm.
If the Female has PMS, all Rules are null and void.
It’s just the way they are.