Why are straight men so turned on by lesbian sex?
Twice the oestrogen, twice the fun!
Conversely, why are straight women apparently NOT much turned on by gay male sex?
Heh heh heh.
In discussing straight interest in gay porn, one factor we have overlooked is that where straight people are concerned, there is the “conversion fantasy”.
Gay people get quite a laugh when they hear charges about the alleged “gay agenda” to “convert” people to homosexuality, because in our experience, it is the exact opposite.
There is a VERY common ego-trip fantasy among many (not all) straight men AND women that gays and lesbians would be straight if they ever had great straight sex with someone how really knows how to please them, and they are the ones who can deliver on that.
Remember Elaine in Seinfeld bragging triumphantly when she thought she had gotten that gay guy to “change teams”? I believe she went into a chorus of “Cause I’m a woman, w.o.m.a.n.”.
Now, I am not saying that these people are homophobic or want to “eliminate” gays. I am just saying that they crave that ego boost regarding their sexual prowess.
The flip side of the coin is George Costanza complaining that he turns women into lesbians because he is so lousy in bed.
Now, here is the secret I will share with my straight friends on this board, because you seem like nice, open-minded people.
When I came out to my friends at the age of 25, I suddenly got two offers in a week from attractive women who insisted I hav sex with them. Insisted, I tell you!
So, if you want to score, guys, tell gals that you are gay! Gals, tell the guys you are lesbians! You don’t have to say that you have actually done it. You can just say that you have had fantasies, and that it is so hard to find a nice girl, nice guy, who knows what they are doing in bed. They will fall for the bait nine times out of ten.
After you get laid, you tell them you found it fantastic, and you are starting to think you are not gay/lesbian after all. You will thus give them the rewarding ego boost they were seeking. If the sex was really great, you can get replays by saying that you “feel like you are starting to lean to heterosexuality”, and suggest that a few more sessions would help a lot.
By the way, in case you are wondering how my two forays into heterosexuality worked out, both women found me a fantastic lover. For my part I found both expriences convinced me that I truly was gay (although I was not rude enough to tell them that).
It may sound strange to say that I was good at straight sex without enjoying it, but here is the reason. I understood the ethos, the feeling, the emotions going through the mind of my partner because I had experienced so-called passivity in sex. I knew the strange, indescribable pleasure a woman gets when she suddenly realizes that the alleged “passive” being penetrated is really the dominant one in an indescribable way, holding and controlling their supposedly active partner by their most intimate and sensitive body part, dispensing pleasure, accepting the other person inside them. I am convinced that it is that knowldge that made me very responsive to the needs of those two women.
With question # 1 so broadly addressed, I’m going to turn my attention to question # 2:
In Judaism, the human body is a holy thing, a vessel for something divine (the soul). Consequently, it is a severe sin to actively waste the building blocks of which it is made. In male homosexuality, sperm is wasted. In female homosexuality, the egg (if present at the time at all) remains in the same state of vitality as it was before the sex act.
Because gay men aren’t as petty or jealous as straight men?
There’s also the fantasy of putting one’s self into the scene. If there’s two women, and a guy imagines himself joining them, he’s having sex with two women. However, if it’s straight sex, and he joins them, he’s having sex with a woman and another guy.
For me there are two answers -
- I can relate to either of the parties. I put myself into the porn movies that I watch and I can be either of the parties in lesbian porn and I can relate to either of the parties at any particular point in time. I am always one of them and always playing with a woman in some fashion. Love that, and there’s never a guy there to interfere with that aspect of the fantasy.
- In straight porn, I’m always mindful that it’s always about the guy. In 99% of straight porn, no one seems to even care if the women get off. All that counts is the money shot. In lesbian porn, even if it’s a fiction that I choose to go along with, it’s about the women’s pleasure. I am willing to be convinced that the women are enjoying what they’re doing, and much of the time, at least in the lesbian porn that I choose to watch, the women come. That’s what’s important to me in sex and in porn - the women’s pleasure, so I enjoy lesbian porn because, true or not, the women are getting off and it’s not about the men.
and, yes, I’m a guy. 100% guy.
CMKeller, I realize you may or may not personally agree with the reason you are quoting above. I have no desire to flame you or to shoot the messenger. And I am not flaming Judaism since I hve Jewish relatives I love and respect.
But frankly, that sounds more like a rationalization by some homophobic rabbis than a genuine reason. You would think that male sperm was some sort of rare and highly limited commodity that must be preciously preserved lest we find ourselves unable to repoduce, consigning the human race to extinction.
Consider the quantity of sperm that a normal, healthy male produces. Consider how many ejaculations a normal male has in a lifetime (easily 10,000 to 15,000).
Do the rabbis propose that we save them all and father thousands of children. Consider how many of those ejaculations are solitary. And no, the story of Onan does not condemn mastubation per se. It condemns the refusal of Onan to raise up children to his dead brother. Read the story closely.
And if you do not mastubate, then G*d Himself will “waste” your excess sperm in nocturnal ejaculations, especially in youth. What is that all about, if sperm is so precious to the Lord?
For me, a straight male, part of the draw of lesbian scenes is the underlying tones that the women are more sexual and less inhibited. My perceptions growing up (I’m 39) were that women were more reserved and less interested in sex in general (I realize this is a farce, but it was how I grew up), so seeing women that are not only genuinely interested in sex, but interested in “kinky” sex is quite the draw.
Damn, Valteron, you shore do write purty.
15 years old? 3 times a week? Honey, I’m a low-libido woman and I rub one out more often than that!
Yes, you are abnormal. Abnormal, meaning, “not an average specimen”. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
My kid was polishing his sword as a toddler. Most toddlers do. Of course, he wasn’t wasting sperm then, as he wasn’t making it, but masturbation is normal and healthy even in prepubescent children.
My husband reports that he masturbates at least one a day, and I understand from male friends that that is not abnormal.
Add me as a :dubious: to the “wasting of sperm” rationalization. If it’s all about wasting the potential for Jewish babies, then lesbian sex is more threatening, isn’t it? I mean, we only have three days a month we can conceive a little Jacob, and if we’re busy boinking bush those three days, the egg is truly lost forever. A guy can have gay sex and still get a gal pregnant 15 minutes later. Seems like a more scientific knowledge of how babies are made should have made this bias disappear a long time ago.
I just don’t think we can say why anything turns us on. Why do I like Ewan MacGregor’s grin or Joseph Fiennes’ neck? Why do I like scenes where a woman is pushed up against the wall forcefully? Why do I find Renaissance line dancing imensely erotic? I dunno. They just make me tingle.
Really? To orgasm? At least? Huh. Better put me in the “abnormal” camp then too.
Yikes!
Now how about being attracted to lesbians by themselves (i.e. no thought of voyuerism or
anything)? I have to admit that I often am (and embarrased a bit when they gently shoot me
down); because they usually aren’t all dolled up and acting in terms of gender expectations,
I find that much more refreshing in a female than someone who is self-consciously trying to
send out signals to men that she is “hot”. Then again I’m just weird that way…
Surprisingly enough, a search for “Masturbation+Frequency” only returned 4 hits. I smell an IMHO thread coming on…
Oh, Otto. Silly, silly, Otto.
It’s because, after all, we’re not normal men 
Valteron:
Homophobic? Have you noticed how many HETEROSEXUAL couplings are forbidden by the Bible as well?
Hardly. I’ll even do you one better: The expulsion of an unused egg by the female is part of the way G-d himself designed biology. Clearly, hoarding of scarce resource has little to do with Biblical/Rabbinic attitudes toward sex.
Rather, it is a matter of respect for that which is holy. Genesis describes human beings as having been created “in the image of G-d”. That refers to the soul, but as its vessel, the human body must be treated with respect, an attitude reflected in many Biblical laws, from the prohibition on tattoos to the way a corpse is treated after death (of course, circumcision is an exception to this, but there are reasons for that as well). The laws of ritual purity described in Leviticus revolve around the absence of the soul in a physical vessel - laws that do relate to involuntary discharge of semen and menstruation. To INTENTIONALLY waste semen displays a lack of regard for this holiness, and for the G-dly power to create life that was placed in human hands (well, not the hands per se). And this is a consistent theme throughout many areas of Jewish law.
I’m straight AFAIK and I still thought this was pretty damned hot. Nicely put.
[QUOTE=Valteron]
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- Why are straight men so turned on by lesbian sex? Conversely, why are straight women apparently NOT much turned on by gay male sex?
QUOTE]
I just finished catching up and was surprised by the people that disagreed that women are not turned on by gay male sex. Being a straight female, I do not find male on male sex the least bit sexy and I honestly don’t know one female who does or that ever even considered watching a gay male movie to get arroused. So the mere fact that there are women out there that do find it sexy, just shocked the heck out of me.
Learn something new everyday.
I’m straight AFAIK and I still thought this was pretty damned hot. Nicely put.
Well, as Dan Savage reminds us a lot, it doesn’t make a lot of difference how many people do it or don’t do it, we’re part of the population, so it becomes PART of the norm if we do it. That said,
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I think I answered the OP fairly well in my post and I can’t believe that I’m out of the mainstream in my reasoning. I like lesbians, and watching lesbians, because they are authentically sexual, not in need of a male, pretend or otherwise. They love sex, and I love that in a woman, and they don’t need a man to provide it.
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my wife has always found male/male sex exciting. The idea of seeing me with another guy was one of the first fantasies that we shared - not in real life but in our sex life. We never viewed gay porn, but I can tell you that the idea of two men together has always been a turn on for her. She is very feminine, and dated a number of guys before we met and got married. She slept with only a few men before me, no women. But male/male sex is definitely a turn on for her.
Hell,I passed 15,000 yrs ago.