This is why Cajun Man and DrMatrix can get away with pawing me (I’d let gobear paw me, but he hasn’t tried yet, the stinker). Not that I don’t let straight guys paw me on occasion, but the line is drawn differently.
Zackly.
Ew! Girl germs! Quick! I need a homosexual security hug!
{kisses matt_mcl long and hard and deep - with tongue}
Ah, there. I feel better now.
Esprix
Sing it, sister. Also, I am oogy and insatiable and bitchy and stuff. I had cooties, but I shampooed with Rid and the little buggers should be at low ebb for a few more days. And I like porn.
Fear me!
On the plus side, I make an excellent fag hag. For example, gobear, I have lots of experience with faux finishes (sponging, ragging, venitian plaster, etc.); I will let you pick the colors, and I will apply the paint. Your job will be to pop in now and then to point out spots I missed, or to critique the overall effect. You may if you like bring Matt_mcl or Esprix. Make some margaritas. Stay and tell me dirty jokes. Go dancing if the fumes become too much. I don’t mind.
I am also considering passing the hat to send some of the recent OP posters out into the deep, dark woods to drum naked and pee on trees (or whatever they do at those Men’s Encounter things).
Probably because (and it’s been mentioned in this thread already) there is no sexual tension in that kind of dynamic.
Hell, the wives of my friends are just as much my friends as their husbands are.
Girls are soft and squishy.
Who told!?
Nah, you’re too nice for Cooties. What you have is Cuties. The only cure is an infradermal injection of antioogibodies.
Scientific authorities are divided, even at this date, as to the origin and etiology of “cooties”, though there is nearly unanimous consensus that they are clearly associated with females of homo sapiens. ( A brief overview of archeological evidence on the subject of Neanderthal “cooties” is one of the essays in Stephen Jay Gould’s collection Damn! I’m Smart ( J. Press, 2000))
An alternative view is that “cooties” do not, in fact, exist but if they did it would clearly be a manifestation of women’s absolute superiority in every respect (see McKinnon, et. al, Don’t Even Think About It, Pig!)
In an effort to establish at least anecdotal evidence, Asst. Temporary Prof. Beaker was sent out to survey, at random, with the question as posed in the OP. The results are as follows: one direct kick to the groin area, three applications of Mace-like products, and one rather unseemly invitation (“Get the spelling right, sweetie, that’s E…S…P…R…I…X”) Research terminated due to incapacity of researcher.
Folklore has it that “cootie” infestation was common among WWI soldiers, with the presumption that these were, in fact, lice. This is intriguing, due to the complete absence of women in the trenches during the Great War.
However, when I attempted to assign my research assistant to survey women with the question “Do you have lice?” I was advised that he had abandoned his academic career forthwith. It is difficult, to say the least, to further scientific knowledge with such lackluster commitment. (Persons wishing to contact him should be advised he has transferred his academic credits to Hamburger University, which I presume is in Germany.)
While further research on this topic is clearly desirable, the difficulty in obtaining any empirical data hinders any objective insight into this fascinating phenomenon.
…woman are insane. (/Dogma) I’ve been in three relationships, two with guys, and one with a girl. The first one was with a guy. We broke up. Seemed amicable. We still talk occaisionally. The second one was a girl. We broke up. Seemed amicable. Almost a year later, she outed me to my parents. Bitch.
My current SO–and, in my innocence, I hope he’s the last–is not insane. He is also male. I am convinced that this is not a coincidence.
Careful there gobear, this is an open form, you are perilously close to letting out some of the club’s secrets…
You also forgot to mention the shared sense of humour. I mean, how many straight guys are really going to get the humour behind this little gem [and sorry, I know I have already posted this in MPSIMS, but I really love it].
Her mother had warned her about that. Men stopped thinking at their bar mitzvah, or when their testicles descended, whichever came first. Some work up again at thirty or so, but others never got their brains back at all.
Women are gross and icky and have cooties for the same reason that men are sloppy and pigs and have bad gas problems.
Just because that’s the way we are.
End of discussion.
This thread can now be officially closed, j/k. =)
Elucidator, you are indeed the Elucidator. Thank you for clearing that all up. (The Hamburger University was an especially nice touch).
(Rysdad, antioogibodies is my new favourite word, edging out Underoos.)