Why can't you just SAY who you ARE on the phone?

[BillyBoy]

Inquiring about my health and personal state of mind, as well as giving me your life story about how long you’ve lived here and how many deer were in your backyard this morning while you were having your morning coffee on the porch is not going to help the heron that just got electrocuted on the transformer (the point of the call), nor is it relevant to the fact that you are calling to speak to <co-worker>.

Ok, fair enough. If someone rambles to the point that you outline here, I can understand how it could cause anger and distress.

However, this is not the scenario which Geobabe had described. How does taking a second to answer a simple question like “How are you” cause any significant delay?

**I am paid to be professional to all callers, (and would anyway), to respond to all callers with a pleasant voice and attitude. The caller is contacting my company for some sort of inquiry, and as a front line employee, I am essentially the PR person for my company. **

Inquiring about my personal health is not going to give you the information you are seeking; on the contrary, it is going to get a “Fine” with an undertone of: "tell me what you want, I neither have time for nor get paid for chitchatting."

If you are the PR person, then you can bet your bippy (if you have one, I’m not sure if I do but it’s a neat word nonetheless) that at that moment, you do indeed both have time and get paid to listen to that person.

This started out as informative, but turning into a rant somehow. How do I get the keyboard to stop emitting sparks?

Usually when this happens to me, it is because I am smashing said keyboard into a wall, or perhaps the computer monitor. I recommend switching your target to a softer object, like an office intern. Much less sparks due to reduced friction, but they still make a resounding thud when you hit them. If you’re good, you can bill it as “training” and set up a recurring meeting with them each week.

[screech-owl]

*Originally posted by BillyBoy *
If you are the PR person, then you can bet your bippy (if you have one, I’m not sure if I do but it’s a neat word nonetheless) that at that moment, you do indeed both have time and get paid to listen to that person.

Point somewhat taken there, but be aware that 1) you are NOT likely interested in how I’m doing with chemotherapy and the accompanying nausea and hairloss (except the fact that I have lost a bit of weight, but must keep working to keep up the insurance coverage [note - I do love my job]), not to mention the fact that that answer would really be a PR disaster, and more importantly, 2) if you get the “Fine” answer, it’s a FIRM BUT POLITE clue (insert sledgehammer) that “you are rambling, get to the point of your call.” [Be careful what you wish for, you ask for someone’s well-being, you may not get the answer you expect.]

I am monitored on incoming calls (the boss sits across the hall in an open office). Do us both a favor, and just get to the point of the call as quickly as possible. At home I can chat, but at work, just tell me what you want.

Skipped a part - RE: Geobabe’s scenario - happens to me a lot in conjunction with my whole point - the ones who ask about my health and well-being are the ones inclined to ramble and take forever to get the the frippin’ point of the call. Also, one second per question: Hi/How are you/etc. adds up to a lot of time for someone else being on hold. The length of “a second” depends on which side of the hold button you are on, and remember, I have my finger on that button :).

[BillyBoy]

if you get the “Fine” answer, it’s a FIRM BUT POLITE clue (insert sledgehammer) that "you are rambling, get to the point of your call."

Point taken, but again I have to ask why one question is considered rambling.

**I am monitored on incoming calls (the boss sits across the hall in an open office). Do us both a favor, and just get to the point of the call as quickly as possible. **

If your boss has a problem with you answering a caller’s initial question of “how are you today?”, that just might be a hint that you should consider switching jobs.

** RE: Geobabe’s scenario - happens to me a lot in conjunction with my whole point - the ones who ask about my health and well-being are the ones inclined to ramble and take forever to get the the frippin’ point of the call. **

Again, I’m with ya on the rambling, incoherent idiots… they’re rambling and incoherent and I don’t like them any better than you do. However, merely asking how you are is not enough to define a person as one of these rambling fools.

**The length of “a second” depends on which side of the hold button you are on, and remember, I have my finger on that button :). **

Hehe… very true. But are you implying that you might keep people on hold longer if they bug you?

[Geobabe]

Sweetie, when you’ve got 4 lines ringing off the hook, those few seconds add up. I am never rude or unprofessional, it just annoys me when a complete stranger takes what I consider to be an untoward interest in my personal well-being. Isn’t it enough that the person handles the call in a pleasant and professional manner? I really have a hard time believing that you seriously care how I am when you don’t even know me. I am not an unfriendly person, truly, I just don’t like it when people try to turn a business call into a personal one.

Besides this is the Pit, fercryinoutloud. This is the place to bitch, so that’s what I was doing.

[screech-owl]

Geobabe, I applaud you and your succinctness. At least we speak a common language of understanding.
:throwing roses (or rocks, your choice) at your feet and applauding: You are so gneiss. On with the diatribe…

BASIC FACT: I do not have time nor get paid for answering questions about my health and well-being from people who cannot realize neither is any of their business. I have 8 phone lines to answer, including a toll-free line that costs our company money but is a convenience for the out-of-area callers. I did not initiate the call, you did. And you are not calling to inquire about me, but about a situation or problem you have.

And my boss and I both agree that ‘how are you’ to a complete stranger in a informational phone call is unnecessary and [everyone together now:] intrusive.

And there is no way that I am switching jobs because someone decides to either start rambling or ask personal questions. Nine times out of ten, the “how are you” question ends up in a game of Guess-What-I-Called-For: "Hi…How are you?..I have a question and maybe you could help, but maybe I called the wrong place, but I found you in the phone book and don’t know if you could help, but my next-dooor neighbor’s babysitter said that you people know a lot about <animal> [Ha, we’re getting somewhere!] and maybe you could help but if you can’t, could you maybe direct me [nope, rambling again] to someone who could, and I’ve called everywhere [in reality, likely only the police who told you to call my company] cause we have this problem with…*[finally - in that time, I could have finished several pages of Latin Grammar for Beginners].

*Do you call emergency dispatch and inquire of their health before getting to the point of a call? I hope not.

And, BTW, if the person is rambling, they do go to the ‘last to get taken off hold’ list. Not out of spite (that professionalism idea keeps popping up), but maybe they can get their thoughts together in that moment and we can get to the gist of the call. And we don’t have music on hold, so the thought process is not interrupted!

It all boils down to common sense telephone etiquette - When you call a company and you do not know the person on the other end, include the following basic information in a polite manner in the first sentence: 1)Greeting - your choice (Hello/Hi/Good morning, etc.), 2)Who you are (My name is…), and 3)the reason for the call (May I speak to …/I need some information about/help with/the phone number for…). I will be more than happy to help, even go that extra mile and research some extra information instead of telling you ‘go to the library where you should have gone before calling me’ (politely, of course). Just don’t ask about my health: it is flat out none of your business. Nothing to do with my job or being professional or polite: just none of your business.

[screech-owl]

Oh, and by the way, office interns are much too precious and rare a commodity to beat about with the computer keyboard. I tried one of those squishy sandbag stress squeezers…d@mn thing broke and spilled on the keyboard. Could be the cause of the spark problem.

[Sapphire_Bullet]

when friends call my parents house for me, my dad has a unique way of enforcing phone manners…

friend: “hi, is kris there?”
dad: “yes, she is, thank you for calling.” CLICK.

usually they get the hint and identify themselves and ask to speak with me the next time they call!

smarty

[VaHermit]

Feynn: Hopefully we can laugh about it in the future, but the conversation went a little deeper than what I posted, my GF and daughter really don’t care for each other right now and they both have ligitimate points. Just have to wait and see.

Geobabe: I’m guilty of the offence you mentioned. I’m responsible for calling our vendors and getting tech support and after waiting on the line in some cases for nearly an hour to hear a human voice, I do tend to say “Hi, how are ya.”

Occasionally, the person I am waiting on represents a company that has sold us well over a million dollars worth of machinery in the last few years, much of it still under warantee. Downtime can easily run into several thousand dollars per hour.

After spending 2-3 thousand dollars of my employers money listening to your elevator music and hearing a recorded voice every few minutes informing me that all of your operators are busy at the moment, Is it too much to expect a friendly “Hello, how are you today”?

Sorry people like me piss you off. I’m sure if you talk to your supervisors, they’ll find you a less stressfull job.

[Geobabe]

Oh for cripe sake. Yes, you’re right. I am just a horrible person for not liking it when total strangers inquire after my health on the phone. Can’t you just accept that people have different likes and dislikes and forced intimacy with a disembodied voice is not something I care for? I fully realize that my bitching about it is not going to stop those people who want to do it, and that there are likely people out there who actually like it when that happens.

My situation is not one where someone has had to sit on hold for an extended period of time and thus is starved for some human contact after all that, I am merely answering questions, transferring people to someone who can help them, etc. I am a very friendly person IRL, I love people, really. Please just try to understand that not everyone is interested in how-are-yous, some of us find it intrusive and inappropriate.

[VaHermit]

Geobabe, Fair enough, just want you to know that some of us do see the operator as more than a voice, especially when we call the same company on a regular basis and hear the same voice over and over…just like on the SDMB, I might not know you personally, but just maybe I do feel a personal touch… should we all quit saying hello to anyone we haven’t been introduced too? Hell, I might not know you personally, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to have a nice day. Or that I don’t care about you as a person.