Why do Chicks only go out with Nice Guys?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ladies, let me level with you. I drive a Camaro. Vintage. I have a mustache.

I don’t pay child support but I do play “Sweet Child of Mine”. At full volume. All hours.

I work when I want to. And I only want to work when I am drunk. And The Man has a problem with that.

I won’t remember your birthday. Hell, I probably won’t remember your name. That’s why I’ll call you “Baby”.

I rock a neck tattoo.

I’ll probably get in a fight with your father. At Christmas. I’ll probably piss on the turkey afterward. What can I say? Eggnog makes me a crazy m-fer.

Literally. Like I’ll be hitting on your Mom after the dad fight and turkey pissing. Don’t try to change me.

I’m going to need you to give me a ride. No. Not to work. Why are you even asking? Why do you have to be up in my business? You know I can’t drive. The Man took my license. Because insurance is a shell game.

I’m going to be a little short this week. I’m gonna need you to make it up. It’s cool though. I’ll get you back later.

Yeah. You know what I mean.

For some reason the female of the species does not find me appealing. They want a man with a JOB and a CAR and a LICENSE. That shit ain’t fair. As you can see I have a lot to offer a lady. And her hot sister, if she’s got one. So why do chicks only want the nice guys? *
*inspired by the awesomeness of the Ron Thread

2

It’s got to be that mustache of yours… lol

3

They do say that size matters.

4

All my sisters (3) would jump at the chance to go out with you. At least this has been true in the past.

5

at once? This could have potential.

6

Cite?

7

I just snorted coffee out of my nose.
Thanks, FriarTed.

8

Fuck NO! They want a man with MONEY. They don’t get if you get it by having a job or robbing a bank, or pimping out your children!

You need bling. A car is bling. If you don’t have bling, you’re a LOSER!

9

No, thank you! I think I’ve accomplished that three times in my history on the SDMB.

10

Look, I know you don’t have a license, and the tires on that thing will never hold air again - or at least that front left one won’t. But seriously, you could at least care enough to go out and polish that camaro this week so that my friends can see us making out in it parked in the trailer site parking lot on Saturday night.

Pay attention here baby, I have a reputation to maintain, and that means a guy has to show some effort, not just to me, but the neighborhood had better see him working hard to please me. Tattoo my name on your shoulder if you want a date with me, that’s all I’m sayin’. And the baggy jeans and t-shirt do. not. cut. it. I want to see my hunny suck up his gut and put it into something tight. I want my friends itching to grab a hunk of that hiney, understand?

And the next time you get some money, never mind about the court fines, you need to get some cowboy boots; 'cause I told my Mamma you look like Clint Eastwood, and I don’t tell my Mamma lies. . .

11

WTF? He’s got a Camaro…a VINTAGE Camaro. Now who’s the loser?

12

Usually it’s the bad boys that get the girls in high school and college.

I guess priorities change in adulthood.