Why do Klingons suck at fighting?

Cafe Society
#1

For a warrior race, you think they’d have some better moves than just punching straight ahead, or clasping their two hands together and whacking someone on the back of the neck. I realize that the culture probably wasn’t going to develop a fighting style with the grace of kung fu, but it’s just terrible. Whenever I see a Klingon battle (with batleths (sp?) or whatever), it totally takes me out of the universe. I just can’t believe that a race so renowned for their fighting would look that bad doing it.

Here I’m mainly talking about TNG and Voyager. I never watch TOS, and it was made well before fighting had to look good in TV shows anyway. TNG was a little early too, so I guess that gets a pass to a certain extent, but Voyager should have been doing a little better.

#2

Much like Wolverine, Klingons are only badass until the writers need to establish that someone more important to the plot is a hella badass, then it’s time for the Klingons to take a whuppin’. Even Worf got knocked flat on his butt by 99% of the threats that the crew encountered, and he was a named character and head of security; save for a few Klingon-centric plots on TNG, he had to wait for his DS9 transfer before he got to be competent.

#3

I blame the fight choreographers of the various Star Trek shows.

#4

For the same reason Kato didn’t just whomp the living shit out of Robin, then turn around and kick Batman’s ass back in the old 60’s Batman show.

For the same reason no one ever so much as lands a blow on Steven Seagal in his movies.

For the same reason the Borg didn’t just assimilate the Enterprise or Voyager on their very first encounters.

For the same reason The Karate Kid wasn’t a story about Daniel-san getting his ass handed to him at every encounter.

For the same reason that all alien (and non-PC Federation) ships blew up at a solid hit, but the Enterprise or Voyager could take endless numbers of hits even after their shields went down and never explode.

#5

If you have phasers- you don’t need to punch foes so much…

#6

The Klingons’ (lack of) martial prowess always bothered me, too! They were hyped up to be mighty warriors, but they lost fights with humans all the time – very irritating! I also thought that they were supposed to be stronger (or at least more fierce!) than the average human, but they do not seem to be depicted as such in the fight scenes.

#7

Considering the issue on a meta-level, I imagine that the Klingon makeup and costuming is very restrictive, forcing the actors to move and fight like Inflexible Batman of movie fame.

#8

I think the Klingons’ major weapon was supposed to be their tenacity. It wasn’t necessarily that he was a major physical obstacle, it’s just that if you did manage to kill him he’d be just hunky-dory with that.

#9

One would think this, but Star Trekkers seem to get into more brawls per capiuta than some biker bars filled with ugly, half-boozed ex-cons I’ve known.

#10

Worf did do some exercises that looked like TaiChi in the episode about the mixed Kingon/Romulan colony that forced all participants to be (somewhat) peaceful. Can’t remember the name of the episode, sadly.

#11

That was Birthright, Part II, a dismal conclusion to the otherwise excellent Part I which was also a DS9 crossover.

Worf does his girlie Tai Chi moves in lots of other episodes too, though.

Anyway, if you want to see a lot of Klingons get blowed up, watch DS9: The Way of the Warrior.

#12

I think it has something to do with their ridiculous weapons.

#13

Klingons are just furless Kzinti.

#14

Cause most Klingons only fight other Klingons. No way to practice for all the other weird shit out other.

#15

Klingons will debate you, not fight you. It’s just not logical, Jim!

#16

I remember in one TNG episode, LCDR Data made a statement to the effect that Klingons were one of the few races that did not develop a sign language.

Worf says something like “Impressive… silent and covert!” :rolleyes:

I guess up to that point, Klingons will growl, bellow, and chant out their family lineages for all to hear on the battlefield, before finally getting down to buisness.

Meanwhile, Indiana Jones, impatient with the tale of “The Battle of the Bloody River”, just pulls his revolver and shoots the Klingon between the eyes.

#17

Except that the Kzinti usally win the battle but lose the wars due to always attacking before they are ready.

#18

In addition to being there to get beaten up, Worf was there to get overruled:

Worf: Drinzhala ship coming into range, Captain! They must be the ones who destroyed the Federation colony on Dipshit II, slaughtered its people and raped its cattle! We must fire immediately!

Picard: Worf, you ignorant slut. This is an opportunity to seek a peaceful and lasting solution and turn enemies into friends. Spare me your heathen wog ways, tally-ho, pip-pip, and open a hailing channel.
Repeat at least eight times a season.

#19

Because they don’t pay their writers union scale.

#20

“You scream, and then you leap.”

Stranger