Why do men (and women) cheat?
I firmly believe that it’s because in the “heat” of the moment they felt like there was the perfect ‘marriage’ of opportunity vs. discretion. If they felt that they would TRUELY never be found out, then they went for it.
This theory, of course, excludes all those who are truely driven by the morals of monogamy.
Soooooo…
Dressing up like “Christie Love” and cuffing him to the bed might help alleviate his boredom?
Only halfway teasing, so what does a girl do to keep giving her guy enough incentive to stay home?
In my case, keeping the laundry done seems to do the trick.
YMMV.
bang…bangbangbang (smacks head on desk again :)).
Okay, BIG fan, smacks Rick hard!!! I’ve said “for those that DO lie etc etc etc” no less than 3 times.
Okay but for those misreading the OP. Say a guy dates a girl from several times to a period of time over several weeks. His motive is to get her into bed, but he’s really giving her the “full court press” hoping that he can score.
He’s pretending that he’s dating her to get to know her, and he’s pretending that he’s “falling for her” leading up to the ultimate moment when he declares his undying love (or whatever :D) and attempts (due to the fact that they are now “in love”) to get her into bed. But really, if she does fall for it, he’ll be gone the second he’s scored.
I’m not talking about girls who are also just in it for the sex, I’m talking about men behaving in ways calculated to hopefully get sex such as the aforementioned “scam”.
Well, helping him act out his fantasies once in a while is better than being totally predictable. Let me think…use a scarf to blindfold him, and tell him to imagine that he’s having sex with someone else while he’s screwing you. Tell him that he can call out her name, call you a slut, whatever he would wish he could say if he was having wild illicit sex. Tell him it was fun and let him fall asleep.
Just a suggestion.
Whoa…I don’t ever recall waking up next to my sister’s formerly drunk boyfriend. I’m pretty liberated with my sexualtiy but my sis’ memories are “off limits” to me.
Wait, you meant the drink, Tequila, didn’t you?
[Emily Latella/]Never mind.[/EL]
Okay, I’ve cheated on two girlfriend’s and slept with three married women, and could have slept with one other married woman (there’s probably more, but I won’t get into that here) had I so chosen.
The reason I cheated on my two girlfriends is because I wasn’t able to see them regularly or I wasn’t having sex with them. As for the married women, the reason they chose to cheat on their husbands with me is because their husbands had chosen to ignore them.
Had I been able to see my GF’s on a regular basis or had they been willing to sleep with me, I wouldn’t have cheated on them. Had the married women I’ve slept with been able to sleep with their husbands, they wouldn’t have paid any attention to me. (Of course, in most cases why the married women picked me is because they knew I could keep my damn mouth shut, it has nothing to do with anything else I might have brought to the “party.”)
I fantasy-cheated on my fantasy girlfriend. Some guys just need their freedom.
Well I’m not a player but…
I cheated on my ex-wife, because she stopped paying attention to me. We bought a house, a nice one, yard garage everything. Then she stopped coming home. She was playing pool twice a week, going out with a male friend another night a week and she was going to school. I wasn’t too upset that she was going out to play pool etc, but she started not coming home until 1am a few nights a week. Hell on our anniversery I didn’t see her at all, she decided she wanted to play pool. Her birthday she went out with her guy friend, Vaentine’s day she play pool again. I asked her a number of times to come home and things like that and she just didn’t seem to get the message. Or she just didn’t care.
I ended up getting really sick of it after a year or so and I told her before that I was unhappy. Hell I even told her I had been talking to another woman and she didn’t seem to care. I ended up leaving a bit after that.
FTR I’ve had more women lie to me then the other way around. Actually I don’t lie to get women into bed. I have however been tempted to come up to some random woman and tell her I love her to see if it would work. 
Sex with one woman isn’t bad… but eating one bowl of ice cream isn’t bad either. The question is: how big is your appetite?
Also, we’re looking for a bowl of ice cream that doesn’t ask annoying questions like “Are you a player?” and “Do I look fat with this fat goddamn fat ass of mine with all the fat sloughing off it like so much lard?” But in the immortal words of Irish Boner, “I still haven’t found what I’m lookin’ for”
Also: you don’t need to say “I loves ya baby” to get a chick into bed.
Pretend to be interested in who they are as a person, after pretending not to be interested in them at all, except beyond the mere social boundaries of politeness. They eat this up like honey-covered chocolate with marshmellows and strawberry frosting. It’s really great because you don’t even have to try! Another way, instead of trying to bond with all the happy experiences, is just to point out amusing occurences in everyday life. Like if you’re accosted by a Scientologist, you could say “My God, you really have to respect someone who dedicates their life to a fiction wrought by a sci-fi author” - because, I mean, imagine worshipping at the Church of Lovecraft or somesuch. It’s ridiculous.
Anyway, the point is: make a girl feel like you’re excluding her from your life until she proves she is good enough.
If she thinks she’s good enough and fine without you: you’re not pulling off the whole aloof thing well enough. Don’t be a wallflower nerdling, be the life-of-said-party dude that doesn’t tell her the time of day.
If she thinks she ain’t good enough and therefore wants to prove she is (hint: likely): FREE SEX, FREE SEX, FREE SEX
In case any confused people come in here waving their psychology degrees saying BURN THE HERETIC:
What is it that you most want? I lay twenty bucks down it’s something you don’t have. Chicks go bonkers for that shit: “Why doesn’t he like me? Am I not attractive? Have my feminine charms and beguilements failed me? Boo hoo, I must rectify said situation”. And sex is the universal currency - prepare to be paid in full.
Plus, being a guy, once you have the sex you can move on. The girl is left either crying in a puddle of tears or perhaps she moved on, having realised ** you probably don’t have too much substance if you’re relying on the internet to teach you how to understand members of the opposite gender **
More than one woman wanted me, what could I do?
Jimi Hendrix said it best: “I’ve had you before, I don’t need you again”
Why do (men/women) do (anything)? Just tryin’ to get laid!
Not to get you riled up or anything (tho I’m into headbanging too)…but I guess you could turn the question around from a previous post. You’re assuming it’s all a scam…what if he thought he was falling for her, etc…
only to change his mind the second he scored? “I’ve never had sex to a woman I didn’t love. It may not have been for very long …but I did love her.”
Assuming no self-deception, the answer is simple: He’s a jerk.
“Prove it.”
Give 'em a break. They couldn’t help it if they were both ugly.
-Eat dinner before you take a girl out for dinner, girls freak out if they think they’re eating more than the guy
-When you take a girl out after meeting her for the first time, tell her “you look diferent” (not good, not bad), that will make her self conscience.
-Make up some ridiculous story about what you do. i.e. I run pyro for Fred Durst or drive the zipper-lane machine on the Tapenzee Bridge. Some poeple try to pass themselves off as lawyers or I-bankers. This is stupid. 1) You blend in with all the other dorky professionals and 2) It’s pretty obvious from the $5000 watch you aren’t wearing that you aren’t wealthy.
CanvasShoes, I expect the reason you’re running into problems is that the topic is skewed (just as the “Why do women cheat?” topic is skewed). My guess would be that, despite modern conventional wisdom ( :rolleyes: ) which would have you believe otherwise, the reasons men cheat and the reasons women cheat are by and large the same. Self-esteem issues, wanting to feel attractive in someone else’s eyes, trying to banish loneliness, or just a simple desire to get one’s freak on with someone new… both genders are equally susceptible (IMHO) to any and all of these influences.
In reading through the “Why do women cheat?” topic, I found myself thinking that I could identify with feelings many of the women there expressed. Some said they felt lonely in their relationship with their SO, others that their SO treated them like crap, and they wanted something else. If I was unfortunate enough to be stuck in such a relationship, I might feel the same. Luckily, I have a rewarding relationship with my wife and have never felt the “need” to cheat. However, if I did, it would likely be for one of the reasons listed above.
Perhaps a topic entitled “Cheaters - Why did you cheat?” or “Lies you’ve told to get someone into bed and why” would engender (heh) less defensive and more honest answers, from both sexes.
Is there a reason you chose to focus on men only? Do you really think mens’ reasons are so much different than womens’?
Originally posted by CanvasShoes:
"He’s pretending that he’s dating her to get to know her, and he’s pretending that he’s “falling for her” leading up to the ultimate moment when he declares his undying love (or whatever ) and attempts (due to the fact that they are now “in love”) to get her into bed. But really, if she does fall for it, he’ll be gone the second he’s scored."
I don’t think all that’s necessary. I believe I’m quoting the French philosopher Rene Descartes (1596-1650):
“A man can seduce any woman he wants. All he has to do is be willing to sit up until three O’clock in the morning listening to her tell him her troubles.”
Now, I’ve never set out on a planned seduction using that tactic, but on the occasions that I’ve sat up most of the night listening, it seemed to work out.
What pisses me off is the fact that they (the players) can get about a bazillion g/fs whilst us ‘sensitive guys’ get no body, just (no offence, but it seems this way to me) the girls who are with the players, crapola on how they have been treated badly, eugh.