Or to be more succinct: Why is it, we find our own dreams so fascinating, yet when other people tell us about their dreams, we find ourselves wishing that Freddy Kruger would come by and put us out of our misery?
I know I’m not alone in this as I recently read an article (can’t remember where) about the do’s and don’ts of being social. One of the tips they gave was DON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR DREAMS! It bores people to death. I tend to agree.
Why is that though? I don’t consider myself a narcissist, as I can listen to someone talk about the fun they had on a recent vacation or “that one time in high school” and be genuinely entertained.
But man, start talking about dreams and I just want to tune out.
I understand, but I think it’s usually because people are boring telling most stories. Some people are just good at relating a story and take a dull useless dream and turn it into an event. I can’t, I’ll bore myself trying to talk about a dream.
I like to hear about people’s dreams. I also like to talk about what makes us dream what we dream, like how the brain is processing experiences in to memories and how it influences the stories we tell in our dreams. And how our ears can tune out some things when we’re sleeping (even alarm clocks) but some things get through and we’ll dream something we’re hearing on a television or radio.
It’s pretty cool.
But I can see how it can be boring when you aren’t experiencing the memory of the dream so you can’t see the details of what made it so fascinating to the teller. I really can’t convey how weird/scary/strange my zombie dream was last night, what with Rick (TWD) not letting me patrol with a gun so I’m left defending myself with a poker. I get in some good kills though, and all is well until Rick brings home a tame tiger and I’m pissed because it’ll eat all our meat and make too much noise. He thinks it will help kill zombies but I think he’ll be turned off by the zombie flavor. I’m experiencing it again as I tell it so it’s almost as awesome without the being scared. But you’re just reading my words and thinking about how to respond or of you should bother on top of a dozen other things you have on your mind. But I’m feeling the pissed-offness at Rick again just by retelling it.
My sister and my daughter both love to talk about their dreams (and I think my daughter is lying half of the time anyway and just telling what she thinks would be an interested dream…it’s not) and it drives me crazy too! Sometimes I do WANT to talk about mine, but then I realize that’s super boring to others, so I don’t. There is an exception though, if you had a dream about a person, then they find it fascinating.
I hardly remember any dreams I may have. The ones I do recall are almost always positive/fun/happy/good experiences or images. I don’t think I have had a nightmare in years.
According to JpnGal, I laugh in my sleep almost nightly.
Most people are bad storytellers, but when they are relating an actual event, there is always some possibility it could be relevant so we may be more inclined to listen, plus people tend to remember actual events better than dreams. A story that is not true needs a plot, not just nonsensical description and half-remembered scraps and details, and the dreamteller is usually oblivious to the audience and any need to hold their attention.
Our own dreams are experiences, not a boring story that has nothing to do with us, no plot, no drama, no conclusion, no theme, etc.
Would you want someone to try and convey the experience of a really good movie you could never see? Telling it would very rarely be as fun as actually seeing it, unless you were a very good story teller.
I get what you are saying. Every time I try to tell people about how I dreamed last night about the giant cucumber and my naked grandmother driving a truck, they all seem really uncomfortable. Who knows?
I agree with Frylock. A brief summary of a funny or interesting dream can be quite entertaining. I have the most incredible amazing dreams, but if there’s nothing particularly great about one to talk about, I don’t bring it up. If there was something particularly interesting, I might mention it to a friend or coworker.
When I was younger and living with my mom, I used to regale her with 20 or 30 minute long retellings of my dreams (I remember them in so much detail and at such length I can usually go on for that long. When I was keeping a dream log a while back, some dreams took many, many pages to type out.)
I think part of it is you can remember the feeling you got from the dream more than you can the dream itself. I wake up thinking - “that was a cool dream” - but it starts degrading instantly. I want to share it with others, but after 10 minutes or so there isn’t much to tell. Then it’s stuff like “well you we’re in my kitchen, but not my kitchen - it was like the back of the trailer at grandmom’s but she wasn’t there, but I think dad was, though I can’t be sure…”
Anyway - agree with others - if someone can tell a story - it doesn’t bore me, but it certainly has the potential to be in the wrong hands.
Most dreams are so boring because they make no sense at all, so they make terrible stories. And because of the feeling you had at the time, it makes just a little more sense to you, so you think it’s fascinating! You end up with:
So I was at work, only not, you know? It was like… not really the office! Whoa! And then I saw Jimi Hendrix, but it didn’t look like him, and he wasn’t really there, but kinda also was. It was just… you know… a feeling… Yeah…And then he did something, but I can’t really remember what. Like, I can almost remember it, but then I can’t.
If I tell someone a dream I try to just say the interesting part: I dreamt the hoover was a monster and tried to eat me! (I actually did dream that, it was super creepy!)
(I actually did dream that, it was super creepy!)