So I recently told a casual acquaintance that I had a dream about her. It wasn’t sexual in nature in the least…it was just us both hanging out and doing things during a day (like shopping).
I finished by saying “Hope you’re not too creeped out by this :p” expecting her to say something like “Haha, noo, it’s fine. :)” and be more amused by it than anything. I know that’s what my feelings toward it were more than anything; just a/bemusement.
So color me surprised when she did reply back saying it was creepy.
Now, I suppose that’s her right, feeling whatever it is she feels toward it…but I’m a little confused how it’s creepy when, really, I don’t think one is able to control their dreams. Not my fault that I dreamed of her…although I guess it is my fault that I told her about it–which, I guess, is what she found creepy?
Well, no matter…my point is…how would you react? Would you be creeped/freaked/skeeved out? Remember, it’s under the circumstances that it’s a person that you don’t know very well (only a little), but also with the hypothetical dream not being anything dirty or sexual and completely innocent.
What would your reaction be? How would you feel? What would you think? Do you think her reaction is not the normal type?
I’ve heard someone - maybe it was Miss Manners, I don’t recall - say that the only people who should be hearing about your dreams are those who are in your house when you wake up.
And yes, personally I would find it pretty weird to hear from an acquaintance “oh hey, I dreamed about you last night” regardless of the content - I really don’t want to know that I’ve shown up in that person’s dreams. If, say. a coworker I like was telling a group about the weird work dream she had and all the wacky stuff that all of us did, that’s something else; it’s a group situation and funny, and I know the person better.
If we’re casual acquaintances then it isn’t so much you have a dream I’m in that I’d find vaguely offputting so much as you telling me about it.
I actually had a coworker do this to me a couple months ago. My response was pretty much “ok…and what am I supposed to do with this information?” It was a bit awkward even though I can’t exactly explain why.
This. You sort of put her in an awkward place by telling her, ignoring your instinct not to tell her because you suspected doing so would be kind of creepy, so can you blame her? I don’t think anyone believes just dreaming about someone or something is an indicator of creepiness, though she may have wondered if you were thinking about her… maybe before bed… or at least if that’s the message you were trying to send.
To be fair, though, telling people about one’s dreams is usually a bad idea, if only because no one gives a damn.
Well, my opinion is that telling someone you had a dream about them (as long as it wasn’t anything obsence or bad) isn’t all that creepy–I wouldn’t be creeped out if someone did it to me, even if I didn’t know them that well–so I just didn’t know if she was someone like me (more relaxed and finding it amusing) or someone who would find it creepy if she were told.
But YM(and others in this topic)OV. Which is okay…it’s good to see and know, so far now, that most people seem to find it more odd then not.
I was just always one to not figure it to be so odd. shrugs
I can see it being kind of creepy. If I were in your shoes I probably wouldn’t have shared that with someone I’m not closer to, but if I really needed to share (long lull in the convo or something) I would add some extra (if untrue) details like:
“Oh hey, remember when we were all out at [place] the other night shooting pool? Now just the other day I happened to drive by there and then that night I had a weird dream and we were all back at that place shooting pool again, but it was in outer space. Isn’t it weird how a little event can trigger a dream like that?”
Or something like that.
Less creepy because A) you’re opening up a potentially interesting dialogue and B) the story isn’t just you dreaming about her.
If it were a girl telling me about having a dream involving me, I’d wonder why exactly she was telling me.
If it were a guy telling me about having a dream involving me, I’d wonder why exactly he was telling me. :dubious:
In either my default response would be, “How strange. Dreams can be really crazy sometimes huh?” With it being obviously specially tailored to the exact circumstances of said dream if it were interesting at all.
If the dreamer has hit on, asked out, or flirted with the dreamee before, and not gotten a positive response to it
If the dreamer is known to talk frankly about potentially offensive topics, especially of a sexual nature, with casual acquaintances, even if the things said about them are not offensive.
If the dreamer was naked when discussion took place.
This is what happened/how I said it/was the case.
I dunno…I guess it was just weird seeing someone creeped out by it but again that’s just me. I see now that it seems to be on a much more thought upon creepiness by most people.
Me, I just found it amusing and thought I’d share with her the dream (I did too, I didn’t just say “I had a dream about you…” and left it at that). And no, it wasn’t soley about her, she was just in it…not the main focus/all there was. I made this clear too.
So I guess I was just curious to know if others would be creeped out by that too (it all being under the same circumstances and put the same way). The answers I’m getting seem to say “Yes/kinda/I can see it being that way”…so thank you for the constructive critsism and I’ll make sure to keep my mouth shut next time, haha. It’s a learning experience.
But you clearly knew that other people **might **be creeped out by it, or you wouldn’t have phrased it the way you did. If there is a possibility what you’re about to say is going to make someone else uncomfortable, and they’re not a friend or family member, that’s 99.9% of the time a very good reason to just keep it to yourself. End of discussion.
I didn’t start out by saying (or thinking, for that matter) “Now I hope you’re not creeped out by this”, so the comparison to starters such as “No offense, but…” or “Don’t take this the wrong way…” isn’t the case.
I added the “Oh, and here’s hoping you don’t find this extremely creepy, by the way. :p” as an after thought…only after thinking that there might just be some out there who might actually take offense or find creepy the fact that someone dreamed about them and that they’d be so amused to as to share. I didn’t actually think she would (or that anyone would, actually)…which is why I was surprised when she did. I only put that afterthought in there as a joke, thinking she’d brush it off. I didn’t think it would be taken as creepy or seen that way.
Again, you find this so. I don’t find it creepy in the least. But then again, I am pretty weird, hahaha. In the end, all you (and others) did was give me your opinion, which is what I asked for…and I’m happy you did so. That’s not going to change my mind in thinking it’s not creepy, though, it’s just going to make me know and understand that more people than I knew/figured actually do find it (or can see it as) creepy and make me hold my tongue next time. So thank you.
I think “I had a dream about you” is much more creepy/stalker sounding than, “You were in a dream I had last night.” The latter sounds like it might have been a cameo appearance. The former sounds like the dreamee was the star.
Maybe he genuinely didn’t think it was a creepy thing to do, but then something in her reaction made him partially aware that she was creeped out, so he added the disclaimer.
I would find it a little creepy because I wouldn’t expect to take up that much space inside someone’s head, if they were a casual acquaintance. Why would you dream about me if you barely know me?
I disagree with the implication that you can only dream about people or things that take up a lot of space in one’s head. I’ve dreamed about people I’ve only met (and thought about) once or twice.
I never had thought much about this girl previously, which is why I was so amused I was dreaming about her in the first place.
I think dreams are, by and large, random, and that one isn’t at fault for what they dream about. I don’t think one has control over their dreams. I just don’t agree or think that you have to be thinking about someone often in order to dream of them or have them in your dream.
Not my fault that I dreamed of her…although I guess it is my fault that I told her about it–which, I guess, is what she found creepy?
