Why do so many women think they know how to give great oral, but don't? (NSFW)

[BrassyPhrase]

@featherlou

I think you’re going to win the thread for worst giver of oral sex. :o :smack: :eek:

(We seem to have a lot of oral sex-related smileys.)

I’m pretty decent? And threw up once when I was trying to show off. He was very sweet about it.

(He’d also just made a truly revolting breakfast that involved eggs and vinegar.)

[BrassyPhrase]

@Dangerosa

From what I can tell - many women who claim to give great oral and enjoy it are lying. They don’t like it (which is the origin of the whole 'after marriage, no more BJ’s" joke). I know a lot of doper women really do like to, but its about 10/40/50 with my girlfriends - 10% like it, 40% like it sometimes, 50% don’t like it at all.

In their minds, why bother to get good at something that you don’t really enjoy and have no intention of doing long term? Besides, if you are good at it, he just asks for more. Since enjoying it is one of the critical criteria for being good at it…well, its sort of circular.

However, telling a guy you don’t like oral is perceived as about the same relationship ender as a guy telling you that his goal is to get married and have you both live with his mother. So during any dating stage, we keep this to ourselves.

Truth in advertising laws don’t apply to relationships.

This reminds me of a comedian I saw once who talked about bjs.

"There are some women who will never do it. ‘Nope. Uh-uh. Don’t like it. No’ There are some women who will do it but it’s a chore, like taking out the trash. ‘Somebody has to do it. If it doesn’t get done there will be fights. I might as well just do it.’

Then there are women that enjoy it. If you find of those women? Marry her. Trust me. Love. Will. Follow.’ "

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

@Hostile Dialect

Actually, I almost never come from blow jobs. But I suspect that’s because of the skill of the people involved–there’s one girl in particular who could get me off in 30 seconds flat if she put her mind to it.

Bumping this one now that Valentine’s is over

What Hostile said - one of my first girlfriends could make me blow pretty much using just one finger and some eye contact.

Since then, out of between ten and twenty hopefuls, the auditions have been unsuccessful. Apparently, I’m a hard man to please.

On the bright side, current gf can have orgasms (lots, in fact) during regular intercourse, which makes THAT a heck of a lot more fun.