bunny, your guy sounds like a gem.
unfortunately, my latest set of in-laws managed to do more damage on my ex than your hubby’s did.
“C” was always running home to momma…“Kelli’s mean to me, she wants me to get a job, stop getting stoned all the time and she expects me to talk to her too!”
mama would stuff his empty head into her tiny bosom and reassure him what a great guy he was…what a complete bitch I was for nagging him, how I thought I was better than them because I use big words…(I am better than them, but that is not why! They are inbred knuckledragging rednecks who think reading is a waste of time, and hey…desert your kids…no problem, just so long as you get to have fun!)
anyhoo…they finally convinced him…well, actuall it was boxing day, 97, and I had a headache or something…didnt help tidy up because his parents were coming over…had a fight ( not even a big one) he was gonna leave, we talked,he decided he would look for a job, but wanted a few days to relax (from what I cant imagine-hadnt worked for over a year)he said he would be back in a couple of days (before New YearsEve for SURE!) any way, the eve rolled around, and when I finally reached him, (730-8pm) he had already had a few drinks, and I told him, "if you are not here by midnight…dont come back.If I start the year alone…well, than I start it alone.
He thought I was bluffing…now, almost 2 years later and approx. 3 reconciliation attempts later…its really over, I have dated (meaning ‘got me some’) over the last 2 years, but now I am with someone, and I really have feelings for him…he makes me laugh…loves my kids…helps out when he comes over…he’s my best friends uncle, so I know the family already…and most of all, every time he talks to me, he * asks how MY day was!* how awesome is that?
now my first marriage was even more of a disaster! I was 20, he was 30, and he really knew how to manipulate me. he talked me into this rushed little wedding, I had just turned 21, and within a week, he turned crazy…violent, possessive, jealous. Sure NOW I know the signs were there all along, but I was stupid at that age, and I missed them.
I had decided to leave him (this was a couple of weeks into the marriage) I was embarrassed, and was trying to figure out the least humiliating way to get out of it…when I found out I was pregnant. Well, it seemed like the thing to do and I stayed…we lasted about 100 days.My aunt (bless her!) stopped by to visit in the middle of a screaming fight…he stormed out, and I looked at her and siad “I hate him, I really fuckin’ HATE him!” she calmly told me to get out BEFORE the baby…or I would never get away.I tried several times to leave, but we lived on a secluded country road, and if he thought I was going, he would pull all the wires on the distrib cap under the hood.once when he went out to do that, (he had already torn the phon from the wall) I locked the door, and tried to get to the other phone…he broke the door in, and pulled the other phone out too.
Anyway, I never got far…he always harrassed me into staying.
The night I left/escaped is a horrible blur…I was a my best friends place (yes the same one as above) watching movies with her & her mom…very innocent, he kept calling all night to check on me. around 10-11, he came to get me, and the screaming started befor we got off the street. He was driving like a madman, I was screaming at him to stop, let me out etc, it was awful.I started cramping, and I thought I was loosing the baby (whom I desperately wanted) and he showed no concern at all.we finally got to our place, and he got out of the car telling me I could leave if I wanted too.(he had the car keys) I sat and watched him walk to the door, and as he inserted the key to unlock it, I slammed down the car locks, and pulled out the spare keys he didnt know I had.
I swear…if I live forever, I will never forget the rage on his face…he ran flat out to the car ( it wasnt far) but the windows were up, and the doors locked so he stood behind me trying to prevent me backing up, I did anyway, slowly ( I wish I had gone fast though).
and I got away.
I hid from him for years…
Looking back now, I can see the hold he had on me, best shown the night after I got away…my parents took me back to get my stuff, and he was there, before he left, he said “well, give me a kiss,” and I did!—Fucked up!
well…Enough for now.