Why does Donny Osmond irk the shit out of me?

In fact, why does the whole Osmond clan irk the shit out of me? They seem nice enough and are relatively harmless but I just want to smack the fake smile off Donny’s face every time I stumble across him. I also don’t know why I hate Marie so much but I cannot stand her. I want to slap and kick both Donny and Marie.

It’s his teeth.

I think that is definitely a contributing factor. His 4,000 teeth make him look like a chipmunk. I just imagine holidays at the Osmonds with all 20 million of them singing and dancing around with their chipmunk faces.

How do you know the smile’s fake? Maybe he’s happy and you’re just jealous. That could very well be what’s irking you.

perhaps because he looks like he doesn’t even know what sex is, never mind had it.
stupid too many teeth far too wholesome all american apple pie keep your shitehouse brand of ‘entertainment’ in america motherfucker that he is.

he should be kept far away from my TV, thats for sure.

I have no idea if his smile is fake or not. It seems fake to me. I don’t think I’m jealous but I will ponder the possibility just to be sure.

Why am I not surprised to see Monty in this thread. :rolleyes:

Replace the name “Donny Osmond” with “Madonna” and we’ll see how fast he comes a-runnin’.

I never have liked him that much either except I thought he did a good job in the Joseph musical he was involved in.

Didn’t him and his sister have some sort of talk show or something at one point or was that a nightmare I had?

Clue a sister in, will ya, kung fu lola? Why are we not surprised to see Monty here? Is he an Osmond?

Yeah, paulberserker, but what do you really think? :smiley:

I know that Monty is the self-styled defender of all things Mormon, but, man! Hitting the mats for Donny Osmond is simply beyond the pale.

Earth to Monty: It’s not cuz he’s Mormon, it’s because he is a 40,000 teeth bearin’, purple sock wearin’, Puppy Love blarin’, soulless, funkless entertainer from Aitch Eee Double Toothpicks.

I remember, years back, seeing Donny butcher “Living in America” on the Jerry Lewis Telethon or some such. I had come home from a barhopping night, and I tried, unsuccessfully, to chew my eyelids off. Ouch. Curse you, Donny Osmond. Bring back li’l Jimmy!

In a horrible act of self-betrayal, I, too, liked him in Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. I have reconciled this by attributing my admiration to the music and not the performer.

Tragically, they did have a talk show recently.

The only one in that family with any talent was Tito.

cray-zee hor-ses
Let’s rock.

Was he the one who was a little bit Motown?

Yeah. He had that song…

Go away, Jheri Curl

“I’m a little bit country”
“I’m a little bit rock…”


Sorry, lapsed into a bit of a fantasy there. Carry on.

Just let your Soul Glo…

Even when he sang his bit about being “a little bit rock and roll” he sounded country. OH! And Marie’s signature song, Paper Roses…barf vomit ass squirt

Because he’s a real-life Ned Flanders, who will probably be cast in the Simpsons movie.