This is a fascinating question, or rather, a fascinating answer, because it’s so at odds with what’s been discussed earlier in the thread. No, they absolutely did not, because the aesthetic that I wanted to see when I looked in the mirror completely trumped whatever aesthetic some friends or coworkers might want to see. And the aesthetic I admire is actually an aesthetic that many people find unattractive (essentially, lots of muscle tone on a woman).
Yeah, but the people who like that look really like it!
As an aside - I’m pretty anti-tatoo. I find them juvenile and generally ugly. When my 60+ sister-in-law said she was going to get one, I was pretty outspoken about my opinion of them. But, as we were talking, I said well, I guess I practice my own type of “body modification,” something that isn’t universally regarded as attractive, so who am I to criticize.
I’m not sure how to answer this. I’ve never been sought after or fought over. I only gained a wife because she was bored and it seemed the natural progression over time.
I’ve lived my life at the opposite end of that spectrum; catching grief from guys who thought I “challenged” them… and catching abuse on the street from women who I don’t even know so they could feel superior.
Yeah, its made things easy as ‘fuck You’ is a pretty easy social default if you think about it. I guess I can only answer the question with another question… and from the other side of the coin:
Why does NOT feeling attractive… day in and day out… feel so Incredibly Liberating…?
Around here, yoga pants are all the rage. I think women look great in yoga pants. If they wear them in public, I am going to check them out, those are just the rules.
If women like the attention (and I often hear they do), then this may be the truest example of a win-win situation ever discovered. But maybe there is just the one that catches me checking her out, and seems to resent it. Then I think, maybe they are creeped out, maybe more feel that way and don’t let on, and that makes me a sort of creepy person.
But I keep doing it. And every day I wake up and go back out into the world and they are all wearing yoga pants again.
In all probability, whatever women wear is because it’s comfortable, because it makes them feel good, because it was on sale, because they like to look nice for their husband or in general, because their regular pants don’t fit well right now or any number of other reasons that do not have a thing to do with you or what you personally find stimulating or not. It is not likely any of it is intended as a direct communication with you, such as to tease you or get your attention in any way.
Surely, you realize that while we can all look at anything we want, if the person being looked at notices it enough to show signs of being uncomfortable, threatened, or annoyed, as you have noted, then you are most likely not simply looking but staring, leering or gawking, which we all know is rude if not frightening to the woman or girl who receives this from a stranger, right?
So, the appropriate way to handle that feedback would be to realize you are gawking in an offensive way and stop it, not to say "Well, the whore asked for it by wearing something that I happen to find stimulating. Clearly, the world revolves around my sexual interest so I am entitled to stare her down if I choose to.
This, folks, is an example of male entitlement.
It’s not about you. Stop staring at women when you know they clearly don’t like it. They don’t need to consider you in their clothing choices. They are living their own lives, not putting themselves on display for you.
Sigh. “If they wear them in public, I am going to check them out. Those are just the rules.”
No, they’re not. When women notice you leering and don’t like it, those are not the rules at all. You asked a question so you might want to listen to the reply.
Thanks for your feedback. I think there is a line between “leering” and “checking out”. Am I going too far? Well, I have asked myself that question, so, maybe.
There’s the rub. Women like to be checked out. Women don’t like to be checked out. Me liking to check them out isn’t so ambiguous. Creepiness ensues.
I know a few women who have trained for a type of pageant/competition that not really about bulk or strength, but more about achieving a very specific physical form. They go to great lengths to stick to very strict diet and exercise routines to achieve their goals.
So to use the OP’s example of a difference of 10 pounds, it might not seem like a lot to most people but to the people in these competitions it’s huge and every ounce really does count. I can imagine that when such a small amount matters that much it’s easy to become completely obsessed. And while an individual might be OK with their personal level of obsession because they know they’re trying to reach their goal, I can see it feeling a little creepy/weird when it seems like society is cheering you on to a nearly unobtainable standard.
I may paint my car hot pink because I like having the color pink; that’s my right. I may technically be “painting it pink just for myself, not for others.” But I can hardly blame anyone other than myself if people gawk at my pink-painted car when I am on the freeway.
Do you really think an attractive woman is a pink-painted car on the highway? That’s a spectacle, not to mention an object, whereas women are people, not objects and not there to discover your rating of them on the attractiveness scale.
Listen, I see attractive guys all the time and I look at them. It is simply not difficult to know the difference between looking and gawking or leering. Obviously, the way you would know is if the people you are looking at frequently notice. It’s creepy, disrespectful, and sometimes frightening.
I shouldn’t have to go out in a burka to get the basic respect of not being leered at like I signed up for the red light district. Keep yourself to yourself, don’t foist yourself on strangers who haven’t in any way indicated that you are welcome into their world in any way.
Guess what? Sometimes women just toss clothes on and happen to look good in them. It’s really, truly, not a personal communication with you. Does it strike you as a bit self-centered to think it is or that they are parading about waiting for your approval rating?
So, thought experiment. You’re walking down the street, and you see this young woman coming your direction. You’re both in public: do you assert that you have a right to stare at this woman as much as you want? Do you argue that she would have no right to get upset at you for staring at her?
If it makes you feel any better, checking out yoga pants really isn’t a matter of ranking attractiveness. Pretty much every woman looks good in yoga pants.
