Why does it take so fricking long to download anything off Straight Dope? There are times I’ve gone and done other things around the house while waiting for a thread to download. Is a little gerbil running on a wheel to power this website? Sheesh…
No gerbils here. These boards are powered by hamsters.
I am still waiting for the pissed off wolverine upgrade.
30,000 members? A database of 3.2 million posts? There are 394 members and 187 guests on-line here at this very moment. That a lot of requests from our poor little server, which was upgraded back in November. Since that upgrade, usage has risen by about 60%, thus fulfilling the most basic law of supply and demand. Go try to buy something for nothing; see what ya get.
That last sentence got a Dire Straits song stuck in my head.
Is it “money for nothing and chicks for free”?
I also desire a beer for some reason.
Don’t listen to UncleBeer – that’s just a cover story. The moderators actually have a setting for each user that determines their load speed. If the board suddenly starts loading really slow, that means you’ve done something wrong and they’re angry with you. They can be very tempermental.
So when are we getting the wolverines, huh?
Yeah, SweetLucy, especially with those nasty big fees you pay to be a member here, you’d think they could provide better service!
Sheesh!
It’s only slow for those who aren’t in the ca- :slap: ouch!
um. I don’t know why it’s slow.
It’s my fault. I haven’t been making routine virgin sacrifices to the Tech God lately.
I’m sorry. I’ll get right on that again. 
Dammit! You mean I miss out on being the sacrifice again?!. Just once I’d like to hear about a non-virgin sacrifice. I mean, this sounds like some sort of discrimination on the part of the SDMB.
That’s ok, I’ll just hang out in the corner over here and break some more legs on these hamsters. It’s fun making the casts!
The boards actually run a complicated algorithm that assigns bandwidth according to the number of posts made by the user. Once you get up above two thousand or so, it runs like a dream.
Gee, and I was just saying about how fast its been since November.
“When I was a kid, we walked to school, five miles, in the snow, uphill, both ways.”
Hmmmm…I think I was robbed.
At the rate you’re going at, you will own the boards by next month, I wouldn’t worry. 
Didn’t know I was here to work.
However, I’m a pretty mellow wolverine. I only get pissed off for short periods of time. You may need to upgrade again.
[sub]Hint, look up my username[/sub]
That’s what we all say.
Quick, somebody shoot him in the ass with the tranq gun before he chews his way outta the net.
Veb
Are you a virgin wolverine?
That sounds like an easy algorithm.
No.
No.