I’m not sure where to put this (here MPSIMS or GQ) and I’m not really sure how to word it. But here goes. I’m basically just trying to figure out if this is a normal 1 year old thing to do, or not. If not, I’m curious as to why she does it. Either way, it’s not harmful to anyone it’s actually kind of amusing. She goes out of her way to hand things to people. If I’m sitting in a chair she’ll pick something up crawl over to me and hand it to me (not on my lap, she’ll actually extend her hand and hold it out until I take the object). Then, she’ll go get something else…then she’ll get something else and on and on and on. She even does this with food. Be it her bottle or little finger foods, just hands them away to people. (That’s the only part that’s not good, it’s difficult to feed her when she keeps handing the bottle back to you). From time to time she’s at work with me for a half hour here or there. During that time she’s strapped into her carseat, but it someone comes up to say hi to her, they’ll immidiatly be handed something, usually a pacifier or some little toy she’s playing with.
Not a mother myself, but I did the daycare stint for about four years. It wasn’t uncommon at all for me to see the little ones just hand you things. I’d end up with a lap full of blocks or stuffed animals because they kept handing me things over and over. I think it’s just a form of interaction they may enjoy. Perhaps even the realization of cause and effect. ‘If I hold this out to momma she takes it!’
Another Aunt checking in. My kids did this at that age, which didn’t prepare me very well for the next stage, starting at about two, when everything becomes “mine”.
Sounds like she’s having fun exploring what her hands and fingers can do, and she’s connecting with people. It’s cute and sweet, and like AuntFlow said, you can quickly find yourself with a lap full of stuff.
No lap full for me, everything she hands me gets chucked back into the room or there’d be nothing for her to hand me anymore. In fact, if she hands me something and I give it back to her she gives it right back to me, almost glad that I saved her a trip across the room to get something else. Today we handed a wooded number eight back and forth about ten times before I got tired of it and made her get something else.
So I guess it is normal.
I suppose it’s just another three week phase, her last one was the 'empty the container phase" No matter what mood she was in (anything from giggly to downright pissed off) all we had to do was fill a container with toys and she’d promptly crawl over and take them all out. It worked quite well when all else failed to get her to stop crying.
The Nephew is 14mo and has been doing this for about three months now. When he tried to hand us back his bottle (which he’d been asking for!) we’d say “no, it’s for you” and point to him while not taking it. Once he’d finished drinking then yes, we’d take it. Now he doesn’t hand it back until he’s done with it.
One of the things Mom has done when feeding him is make him take one spoonful by himself, then give her the spoon, she feeds him one spoonful, gives him the spoon… he likes any “take turns” games.
I was at the store once when Kid Kalhoun was about a year old. I was pushing the stroller through a crowded area of clothing racks. Another parent with a stroller was coming the opposite direction and we shared a moment of “After you!” “No, please! After you!” When we finally cleared the area, my kid had a toy I never purchased and his toy was nowhere to be found. I think they traded stuff in the scuffle! Then, as AuntiePam says, around two, they won’t give up anything without a fight.
Actually, it is a very common action with kids to do this.
They have a job of collecting things to give to you.
If you think about their world, all they do (and have done for the first year of their lives) is sit there and YOU bring them things. Lay in their bed and YOU bring them things. They are so happy to be able to finally be moving and return the favor.
It is human nature.
Don’t worry, it will end and turn into squirreling away stuff in the strangest places and collecting hordes of things (stickers, clean yogurt cups, broken chunks of jewelry) that they can’t evah part with.
What they said. Totally normal, and really cute (until you can’t stand up for the pile of things engulfing you).
It’s her most pleasant way of getting your attention right now. If she just stands there, you’ll start to drift off and ignore her. If she hands you something, you snap back to attention. She’s trying to train you.
Think of it as a conversation: she’s actually acquiring **language **skills, of all things. She’s learning how she does [this] and then you do [that]. When she starts talking, it’s the rhythm that will remain, and she says [this] and then you say [that]. You can help reinforce this by having both sides of the conversation for her right now: “Here’s a block! Thank you for the block! Now you say, 'You’re welcome, Daddy! . . . Ooh, here’s the ball. Thank you for the ball! Now you say, ‘You’re welcome!’ . . . Should we roll the ball? I think we should roll the ball. Roll, ball, roll! Yay! Go get the ball and bring it back to Daddy . . . Thank you! Say, ‘You’re welcome!’” (You don’t have to wait for her to actually say “You’re welcome”, just stick it in there as if she’s actually responding.) When she’s able to, she’ll start verbalizing her part of the script.
Mine does this too. Sometimes she avoids the pile-of-crap-in-the-lap by picking up tiny specks of dust from the floor and giving those to me (it used to be that I could see or feel what she was giving me, now she just gives little bits of nothing.)
The Small Girl, now 14 months, does this as well. If it’s something she needs to keep, like her bottle or her food, I just say “No, thank you!” with a smile, and she smiles and takes it back.
I must have the odd one then. My daughter, who’s almost 11 months, will hand stuff to me, but then pull back before I take it. Then she laughs. She gets mad if you do actually take it and will try and take it back.
Ooh, gotta love that she can find every little grain of sand in the carpet. Recently she found that if she has a paper towel she can rip it and give me half. We played this game until she had a piece smaller then her little tiny fingernail. Then she ripped that in half and gave me part of it and so on and so forth.
I think it might have something to do with wanting to gain your approval. She’s bringing you a “present” so that you will pay her attention and thank her for it. Enjoy it for as long as it lasts!
This is how I look at it. She brings me any new thing she has found. Which, now that she is walking has been such items as:
coins
screws
PCI cards
Silica packet
Throat sized rocks
etc.
I think of it as her way of keeping herself alive. Or, to quote my brother, who has kept 3 kids alive to school age, “little eyes find little things” We just can’t see some of that stuff, it is AMAZING what they find when they start walking.
I do end up with quite a bit of stuff on my desk that she brings me throughout the day. Mine tends to get mad if you don’t hand it back to her the first few times.
We are now at the “throw everything out of the crib” phase. A room full of toys during the day, but an empty crib can keep her busy in the mornings. She throws EVERYTHING out. Blankets, toys, empty bottle, and yes, DIAPER!
I hear that soon she should be bringing me a diaper and wipes when she wants to be changed.
My 9 month old does this with her binky. She’ll just take it out of her mouth and hand it to me. And if she’s close enough, she’ll try to put it in MY mouth. I don’t let her because of my germs, but I feel bad denying her since it’s such a sweet gesture.
