when somebody gives you what is already yours

What do you call this type of behavior?

When my sons father died, his fathers SO acted as though she was being generous by setting aside a few things of his fathers to give to my son. Uh, no, my son was his only child and his fathers things are already his, not hers to give to him.
I didn’t call her on it, should have, because she took everything of value and my son got nothing.

A man beats up his wife, badly. There is a restraining order against him and he is under house arrest with an ankle bracelet. He says to her mother, I don’t want to upset my wife so I’m not going to try to contact her or go to any of the places where we used to go together. Uh, no, you won’t be contacting her or going to those places anyway. You are under house arrest, so don’t act like you are doing her a favor by not violating the conditions of your release.

What do you call people who act like they are doing you a favor by giving you what is already yours or by not doing things they shouldn’t be doing anyway?



I don’t know, but you’re welcome to pose the question in this forum and see what people think. If you have further questions or comments, don’t hesitate to let us know. Think of this thread as your own personal question-and-answer session!

I remember when I was a kid, my brother and I would read a lot of comic books. And the kids next door would sometimes borrow some of our comic books. And they were not really good about returning them.

Then our sister had a birthday party and the neighbour kids were invited. They of course brought our sister a birthday gift and when she unwrapped it it was a stack of comic books - which my brother and I quickly recognized as the comic books they had borrowed from us.

I feel like there should be a word for this type of behaviour, but I’m having a hard time coming up with a better one than “assholes.”

While driving, when you get to the four-way stop first and make your stop first and you have right-of-way to go and someone who stopped later than you did waves you through - I want to get out and punch them in the head. Yeah, I’ll take my right-of-way, because IT’S MY RIGHT-OF-WAY! It wasn’t yours to give!


A snowball?

Or, in this case, it’s an acknowledgement that “yes, I see you, and I’m planning on waiting until you have used your legal right of way and cleared the intersection, have a nice afternoon.”

Considering the number of times that I’ve pulled up to a four way stop clearly after another car was stopped and then sat there looking at them while they stared at me, I’d like to thump THEM upside the head too. That’s not me waving you through. I’m imagining myself giving you* a bitch slap upside the head.

  • not directed at Cat Whisperer who may be the victim of somebody else’s inflated traffic god ego.

Presumptuous is too nice.

Asshole works but there are so many kinds of assholes, it’s not specific enough.

Con artist isn’t exactly right, neither is Scammer.

VT if I may be so bold, I’m sure you appreciate that I let you post in* my* thread. No need to thank me (except if you don’t I’ll tell everybody what an ingrate you are later). :stuck_out_tongue:

It’s a little like when a guest opens my own front door for me (which is proper and kind and polite) and says, “Welcome.”

Hm… I’ve just been welcomed to my own home…by a guest whom I have welcomed.

It isn’t really rude. It just jars. It’s a false note.

(It’s a little like store clerks who answer, “Thank you” with “No problem.” These intentions are well meant…but it’s the wrong thing to say.)

Sounds like a tax return. Hey, thanks for my money back!

I don’t know what to call that kind of person, but I get the same feeling when I say “Pardon” or “Excuse me” to someone who is in my way (a co-worker for example) and receive the reply “You’re all right.”

What the hell? I know I’m all right. I wasn’t asking your opinion of me, I was politely letting you know that I need to pass by you and you’re standing right dead in the middle of everything. The proper reply would be “Oh, pardon” or “Excuse me”.

Another one I get a lot from my co-workers when I’m working and they’re standing there with their heads up their butts is “Thanks, Rucci (for doing that particular task so I don’t have to)”. But what I hear is “Thanks, Rucci (for doing your job)”. And I just want to snarl “I’m not doing it for YOU. I don’t answer to YOU.”

Would any of y’all find these things irksome, or am I overly sensitive because maybe I don’t like my co-workers very much? Wait, I’ll not qualify that…I avidly dislike my co-workers. But, still.

Depending on the father’s will and the laws of the state and/or nation in which he died in the SO may very well have had the only legal claim to her late husband’s property. In such a case I would say giving your son anything should be called a generous act.

She was an SO, not a wife and they had only been together (dating and then living together) for less than three years. He had no will. She was hardly entitled to anything.

Another place I’ve seen this is when someone accuses you of doing something wrong and when you prove to them that you haven’t they say something like 'okay, you got lucky this time…" as if they still think you did it, they just didn’t catch you. Usually I’ll comeback with “Lucky? I wasn’t lucky, I didn’t do anything wrong”

I think it’s a form of narcissism.

I’m not sure that situation is so cut and dried. Was the SO a wife or long time partner? Because if that’s the case, they might actually have claim to the father’s belongings.

If the stuff was so valuable, I’m not sure why you or your son wouldn’t assert your claim on it.

But you don’t want that to be your epitaph.

You don’t know me - maybe I do! (No, I don’t. I’ll just wait till the presumptuous people have gone and curse their names.)

“Imperious” might be another word for people doing things like this.