Too true. Every time anyone ever opens their eyes, they open them in salt water, so it can’t really be that.
Actually, the Ph of normal eyes is 7.0 to 7.3. While normal semen may be 7.2 to 8.
Urine is 6.o.
Not really a big range as far as Ph goes, both are just slightly alkaline and saline.
Although, if your eyes are neutral at 7.0 and your partner is closer to 8.0 it may cause an initial stinging similar to water at a public pool or saltwater.
Alternatively, I have heard that the food you eat can affect the properties of your semen.
So if your gonna continue with the facials, lay off the Jalapenos!
[snip]
[quote=“Sparky812, post:62, topic:554680”]
This is why I’m no longer allowed to eat wasabi peas. It sucks, or she doesn’t. I’m not sure which one I love more (depending on which is more readily available). Damned if she can’t tell when I’ve been cheating on her with the peas, too… just imagine how ridiculous it is to get yelled at for gastronomic infidelity… yeesh.
I…am laughing my ass off. Thank you for threadspotting this!
When I was younger, I was warned about the semen in the eye, but couldn’t figure out how the hell that would happen anyway.
Sure enough, less than a month later, whammo!
The image of the little zygotes burrowing into your eyeball does NOT help.
It’s really amazing how much that hurts, how long it lasts, and how BAD it looks!
I now am really curious as to what the hell is up with that, as I have always swum with my eyes open, have 20 years worth of makeup-in-the-eye experiences <including the lovely 'early morning mascara-wand poke> and nothing has ever hurt like that.
Anyone asked Cecil?
Anyone DARE? 
Unrelated to the topic but I’ll go nuts if I don’t priggishly point out that ‘a big piece of pie’ is not the right lyric. It’s ‘a big pizza pie’, innit?
On topic: if semen is highly alkaline, does that mean it’s good for heartburn? [Please note that I do not have heartburn and therefor am not looking for someone to help me test this idea.]
[sub]{runs by…}[/sub] Actually it’s “Like a big-a pizza pie”. [sub]{runs by again…}[/sub] However, if one is changing the first line, one must change the second line. If the first refers to semen, then the second should refer to another part of the anatomy - in this case, vulgarly referred to as a “piece” or as “piece of pie” [sub]{…runs faster…}[/sub]
I like pie.
In that case, shouldn’t it be,
When the semen hits your eye
or a big creamy pie
That’s Amore!
LMAO.
Sounds like a question for Katie Morgan’s HBO show.
Was that (bolding mine) on purpose?
If you have a zygote burrowing into your eyeball, things are even stranger than you thought (although it takes "ectopic pregnancy) to a whole new level). I suspect you may have meant another word. 
And indeed, best username/post combo in the history of the internets!
That would be an ectoptic pregnancy.
That’s hilarious, Cal. Reminds me of the old query: Why are camels called “ships of the desert?”
'cuz they are full of Arab seamen.