Why don't I stink myself out when performing #2?

General Questions
#1

I have a question that has perplexed me for some time: When I visit the “powder room” and drop anchor for 30 minutes or more I am rarely inconvenienced by any malodorous airs. My closest associates, however, make no polite attempt to hide their gagging and retching and claim that I am most foul. (Alas, I live among Philistines.) No doubt I am the victim of wanton hyperbole but the question remains: why can they smell what I cannot?

My first hypothesis, made long ago, was that one couldn’t detect one’s own emanations. This can be easily disproved: When I momentarily leave my penetralian sanctuary for 15 or 20 seconds—say, to retrieve the latest issue of some prestigious journal—I am confronted upon my return with direct evidence that I am, indeed, most foul. Apparently leaving the scene of the crime clears the nasal palette, so to speak, and leaves us helpless. (When I first discovered this as a young lad I was crushed to learn that my shit did stink.)

My next hypothesis was that we are immune to the stench because it is introduced to us slowly. I cover most of the throne, after all, and only a relatively small amount of gas can escape at any time, giving one’s nose a chance to brace itself. This, too, does not hold up to experimental evidence. Anybody who has shared a communal commode with men (e.g. a locker room or dorm hall) knows that being in the room when the deed is done is no protection.

So I am left to ponder. Is there some symbiosis between sphincter and sinus that warns our olfactory nerves that “now!” would be a good time to take a holiday? What evolutionary pressures were on my paleolithic forebears that allow me to read in peace?

#2

3o minutes or MORE? :confused: :eek:

Excuse me, but WTF are you doing in there for a half hour or more? It takes me about 30 seconds to poop, then another minute or two max to wipe, flush and wash hands.

30 minutes?

#3

Take note of the prestigious journals the OP mentions. One peer-reviewed study can easily suck up at least thirty minutes.

Especially if you’re one of those completists who has to read the bibliography.

#4

I hate the pooper-shooters who brag about how little time they spend in the bathroom. Some of us eat a varied diet, and our emanations vary, too. Some days you get speed, some days quantity, some days things just progress more slowly, some days efficiency is the watchword. Speed at pooping does not make you a better person.

I have no answer for the OP, though. Maybe I’ll read up on it during my next trip.

#5

Just wait, Dripping. Age will catch up with you. The older I get, the longer I spend contemplating my sins in the morning.

#6

If you finish your business and close the toilet room door and windows when you leave you will smell your gas very clearly when you return a few minutes later.

#7

Gross.

Deeg, spread your legs for a second, you’ll gain the motivation to get out of there much quicker.

Maybe it’s just me, but I am definitely not immune to my own stench. It’s slightly more tolerable than an equivalent rank from some other anus, but it’s no less pungent.

#8

I’ve never spent more than, like…ten minutes in there, though. Sure, sometimes there are GI issues but on a normal day, it all just comes out and that’s it. Don’t those of you who take longer wonder if you have like some weird stomach ailment?

#9

Everyone seems to be glossing over that fact that with the adequate light source, and the comfortable seat, not to mention the white noise provided by the fan, the bathroom is just about the perfect reading environment.

Be a good idea to have easy access to baby wipes, though. Things get allowed to dry out, wiping up at the conclusion of the session can be a less-than-optimal experience.

#10

Because your olfactory nerves scream and faint in terror at the stench that rises from the depths.

#11

Is anyone going to take a serious crack at this OP? Because I’m curious too.

#12

Stable diet implies consistent, errr… product.

Familiarity attenuates the novelty of the aroma.

#13

This is correct, and in fact sensory attenuation can probably be predictive as well as after-the-fact. Post-exposure, fatigue of nerves can also be a factor; what smells bad initially may not persist in smelling that bad with ongoing exposure.

Your brain is used to the bad odor both post-exposure and pre-exposure, in short.

See here for an example of predictive attenuation for touch:

In short, “Mine don’t smell” should be amended to “Mine don’t smell for me.”

#14

You oughta have your sinuses checked if you can never smell your nether emanations!

#15

It also gives you peace and quiet from any Philistines in the area (at least until you open the door).

I’ll have to ruminate on this. My initial reaction is dubious–can that really block out (usually) all the reek? On the other hand I’ve read about some experiments done with wine tasters and our brains are very good at fooling ourselves. (Further evidence can be seen in the number of books Ann Coulter has sold.)

Another puzzler is this: while I rarely am troubled on the throne, I can usually smell my farts. Why the difference?

#16

First of all two words: “Courtesy Flush.” The smell definitely lessens if you flush ASAP after doing the deed.

Second all, I actually came in here to comment on your thread title. I have to say, I like it that you don’t just “go” number 2… you “perform” number 2. Very nice indeed. I’d say that warrants a 30 minute visit.

By the way, who here would agree that one of the most un-talked about uses of the iPhone is it’s open ended variety of uses while you’re on the can?

#17

Two reasons:

  1. Psychologically we just don’t have as much of a disgust factor for our own stuff, be it smells, bodily fluids, etc, because we have mental ownership of it. So even when we can smell our own shit, it’s not going to have as much extra impact.

  2. Any ambient smells tend to overload the receptors fairly quickly and become unnoticeable after we’re used to them. Sort of like how if you sleep in someone else’s house you may be driven crazy by the ambient noises but in your own house you sleep soundly not noticing the creeks and traffic.

For those having poop issues, have you tried Chipotlaway?

#18

My trip to the porcelain lounge is definitely a performance.

Until they come out with an aroma-phone.

#19

Olfactory fatigue plays a role.