I’ve never had anyone quite so pathetic be quite so condescending to me over my unmarried status, but I have had a few women who should have known better try to “lord it over” me that they’re married and I’m not. The irony, of course, is that they had little in their lives or relationships that I envied, and more than that, they were not perhaps as accomplished in other aspects of their lives as to warrant being so condescending. They haven’t traveled that much (or at all), perhaps they’ve never been to college (or very little), they haven’t got any outstanding talents or skills. Not that any of these things means that they should be looked down upon—but I don’t think that they are in such a lofty position as to be able to look down on someone else, (who perhaps has gone to college, travelled, is accomplished), merely because this person is not married.
If I were a girl, I’d combine some of the aforementioned suggestions:
“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
“Because I’m fucking your husband, I like to masterbate a lot, and why don’t you fuck off and go to hell for asking a such a rude personal question that’s none of your fucking business.”
Then start laughing at them a lot and be sure she is watching as you go tell a coworker what she just asked you.
Look momentarily distressed, glance around quickly, lean in, and lower your voice. Ask if they can keep a secret. They’ll say yes. They always say yes.
“Well, you see, I’ve actually got four boyfriends, and I’ve told them all that we have to keep things under wraps for a while for personal reasons. They’re all a bit cranky about nobody knowing about them, but it keeps any of them from finding out about the others. It’s all very complicated and messy, and I just don’t know what on earth I’m going to do about it. We’d better change the subject before someone wonders what we’re whispering about.”
They’ll either realize you’re messing with them and stop asking that sort of question, or they’ll think you’re serious and spread it all over the place, making themselves look ridiculous in the process.
This is perfect. No one ever asks me if I have a boyfriend (I suppose it’s obvious from looking at me. :rolleyes: ). But if they ever do can I steal a variation of this?
Love is in the air all around my family. Sis is engaged, one nephew is getting married this summer, the other next summer. The only other non-married female in my entire family is gay.
“So, MissTake, when are YOU going to get married?”
One usually needs someone TO marry.
“Why don’t you have a man?”
Because I don’t want to torment any male by making him meet my family.
“Oh”
“Where’s your boyfriend?”
In my nightstand, unfortunately he needs new batteries.
“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” stare stare
“Never mind”
An approriate counter-question might be “Why do you have an obssession with my personal life? Do you spend your free time peeking into your neighbors windows?”
Heh, peopole like this usually crack me up. I’ve never really thought enough of it to get pissed off about it.(I can see why others would though)
I remember on time, years ago, this girl asked me; “Do you have a girlfriend?” To which I replied: “No, I haven’t been in a serious relationship for quite some time.” She then responded with “Oh, how sad for you.”
I was like “uh, its not like I CAN’T get one it’s just that I DON’T want one. jeshh!”
Even if I couldn’t get one that would be beside the point. This isn’t exactly how you would make someone feel better about themselves by saying “awe, how sad”
It was like the girl was COMPLETELY inept of social skills…
Why don’t I have a boyfriend? Because my husband would never forgive me. He holds grudges.
Seriously though, before I met my Mr. I went several years without a boyfriend. I finally got tired of people asking me why I was flying solo so I started telling people that word got out that I ate the last one and now guys were scared of me. People didn’t really talk to me alot after that. I’m still not sure why.
Delivered with a roll of eye and a dismissive wave of the hand:
“I just keep some cucumbers in the fridge. They never come in drunk and petulant at 3 in the morning, they don’t ask if it was good for me, they don’t leave messes all over the apartment, and they don’t hog the easy chair and monopolize the remote.”
