I was 19, he was 21. We were together for seven years. He cheated. I grew up he didn’t.
We would still be friends if his present wife didn’t hate me so. I moved to the far end of the country to set her mind at ease, but the little contact we’ve had over the years, (things involving our son) made her crazy and mean.
When our son died, he told me he still loves me. He has a special place in my heart, but I will never have contact with him again.
Ex #1 became my ex because after having two kids with the idiot I grew up and he did not. Twenty years later things still have not changed much. My daughter is going to be 18 in seven months. I can not wait as I can finally be rid of him. I will have no reason to have any contact with him, not that I have much now, but in my mind it will be official.
Ex #2 was because he felt spending time at the bar and helping his friends was more important than spending time with me or my children that he claimed to love so much. I got tired of his check going to the bar bill before the house payment and groceries. After four years I was pretty much doing everything on my own so I figured I might as well really do it and not have the extra hassles in my life. I still talk with him now and then but he does the calling. He is usually so drunk that he does not make a lot of sense and I try to get off the phone as quickly as possible.
I fucked it up. I’ll never forgive myself for it.
I’ll focus on my soon-to-be-ex husband.
He decided to be a woman. Which. . .I think I could have dealt with on its own. Except that he decided to start hormone treatment by ordering pills from overseas. No therapy or doctor’s appointment, no sir! And the pesky bit where you, you know, tell your parents. . .pfft. We’ll just ignore that, won’t we?
There were other issues:
–A desire for and pressure towards polyamory when that wasn’t particularly what I wanted, nor what was agreed to at the beginning of the marriage.
–A touch of something very like OCD–he seemed incapable of throwing things out. I don’t know if it was that or “Mom’ll do it” syndrome.
–An almost complete inability for me to pursue my education due to being the primary breadwinner and the only one who managed to finish her undergraduate degree.
–Having it basically be assumed that, if I/we were upset/in disagreement, I was always the one who was being irrational. To the point where, as things got really bad, I went into therapy, saw a psychiatrist, got put on a shitload of meds that really screwed me up. So bad that I was off of work for four and a half months, getting FMLA/STD benefits.
The hormones were the big one. It just struck me as fucking stupid. If you’re going to be taking prescription medication–especially prescription medicine that permanently changes your body–you should consult with the proper individuals.
Really, it was indicative of a whole slew of immaturity. And it’s what eventually screwed things up, at least in my mind. Well. . .okay. That and the fact that, at 21, I was probably way too young to get married. ::shrugs:: We’re still friends, at least.
I booted the most notable ex for a whole host of reasons - but the proverbial straw was on the morning of September 11, 2001 when he was watching news coverage from New York and woke me up at 6:30 local time (when he knew full well I’d been working until 3:30 and had to get up in half an hour to go to class) because the funniest thing ever had happened.
Seriously, he was laughing so hard he couldn’t speak coherently. He was actually all like “Bwahahahahahahahahahaha omg a plane bwahahahahahahahahaha buildings bwahahahahahahahahahaha smoke gasp bwahahahahahahahahahaha” I had to go look at the TV in the living room for myself to find out what the hell he was going on about.
I stared in glazed horror at the TV and he was saying things like “Hey, don’t you have a cousin that works in the World Trade Center? Sucks to be him!*” and giggling like a fiend until I eventually had to leave the house (both because I had class** and because I was going to kill him if I stayed).
I went apartment hunting that afternoon.
There were other grounds on which to break up with him - some of which I didn’t find out until some time later, but that was the trigger, right there. He was serially unfaithful, had a drinking problem, was profoundly selfish, almost certainly had the drinking problem as a result of self-medicating depression with liquor, was emotionally and physically abusive, and by the time I booted him, he’d become generally an asshole with no real redeeming qualities. When we started dating he was a little arrogant, but not a bad person. By the end, he was, in fact, a bad person - not only in my personal opinion. After we broke up, even his friends kept saying things to me like “shakes head He’s really changed, man - he didn’t used to be this way.”
*It did, in fact, suck to be him - and he was my cousin’s husband, actually.
**Which was ultimately cancelled, but I was a second-year law student. I went to class come Hell or high water.
She -did- sleep with someone else. Five feet away from me. When she thought I was asleep. :mad:
Wow, you guys sure have a lot of drama in your relationships. Holy cripes.
In my own case, she was talking seriously about spending the rest of our lives together, and I couldn’t see myself doing that. And I came to fully realize that I had a serious crush on someone else. I almost came crawling back a few times, but I just couldn’t do it – I realized that doing so would pretty much commit me to her for life, and that really scared me.
I really hope she’s happy these days. I feel kind of bad. But I wouldn’t trade my current situation for anything.
Was that the ski trip story? Fuck.
He beat me up. Pretty simple.
panache45, you just described my ex perfectly. It was The Jack Show - All Jack, All The Fucking Time. Jesus Christ, what a self-involved pain in the ass that man was.
He didn’t like to work. He still doesn’t. He gets jobs occasionally, but since he isn’t motivated, goes in late, takes long breaks, and does whatever job it is crappily until he gets “laid off”. You will never hear him say he got fired. And it will always be someone else’s fault. Once unemployed he will wallow in self pity and use all of his time on the internet, gaming or surfing porn, until whoever is currently supporting him makes some sort of demand. He will then either get a job or a new person to support him.
A – He’s my ex because I moved to NYC and he still had a year of school left in a state 3000 miles away. When I told him I was unhappy with the distance and they way we were growing apart, his response was “Can’t you just wait? You can be unhappy for awhile.” I met my current SO shortly after this conversation occurred and after that, I couldn’t end the relationship fast enough.
B – When we started dating, I was 18 and he was 22. He liked the idea of being older, wiser, and worldlier than me. He really didn’t like it as I aged and became more assertive and confident with myself. Wakin’ and bakin’, as some call it, is also quite the turn off.
C – Broke up with me for reasons, nearly a decade later, I still can’t determine. We were happy for two years in high school, I went away for a summer, and then received a break-up phone call before I returned home. I assume there was another girl. It could also be because we were 18 years old.
I was 17, he was 20. After dating for a few months I (willingly) lost my virginity to him. He continued to have sex with me regardless of my feelings about it. After a couple more months, i met my now husband. It’s hard to explain what he did for me. I think he saved my life. He suggested i go into counseling but didn’t push me. He loved me for me and didn’t push me there either. We just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary and i think we’re closer than we’ve ever been.
I trust the last thing you said to her was: “Via con Dios.”
Can we get some more info on that one?
Last boyfriend before hubby: I was getting tired of the “friends with benefits” that our relationship had devolved to over the course of a summer. And I had a date with this really interesting guy … I was going to go on the date, see how it went, and then all-the-way dump my “boyfriend” if necessary - or not, and never tell him about the date. Well, the men in the chat room I frequented at the time got pissed off when they heard about that! So I went ahead and called and basically said, “I’ve told you before that things between us were over when I was mad and frustrated, but this time, I’m just done. All we ever do is hang out once a week and bang, and that’s not enough for me. So, this is it.” And I went on my first date with my husband-to-be the next day.
(FTR, my boyfriend was a drug-using fucked-up loser, so it’s not like I was missing out on anything by dumping him, no matter HOW the date went.)
I was in college, he was 10 years older than I was, and while he was a professor at the university, he was not my professor.
However, when he started dating one of his students while he was still dating me (conveniently enough for him, I suppose, she had the same name as I did) that was it. It wasn’t that we were monogamous (I was, for my part) but you don’t date your own students!
#1: Mentally and verbally abusive, cheater, pothead.
#2: Frequently unemployed, disgusting personal habits, sports addiction, gambling, alcoholism, hoarding, escalating violence.
Whoo, I sure know how to pick 'em! It’s hereditary.
He turned out to be a crazy, possessive, overbearing idiot. I turned out not to be okay with that. 
I mean, when you have a conversation that goes like this:
three times in a week, and then three times in two days, it’s time to call it quits.
I’m dying of curiosity, what was X?
To report to him where I would be, and with whom, and doing what, for every hour that he would not be at work (and all of them where he would be at work, if I were going to socialize with “certain people”), every day. With updates as plans changed, or if we went somewhere else, or if the schedule changed by more than 15 minutes.
Given my recent posting history, I feel obligated to point out that this didn’t start as a power exchange relationship in any form - which is a fair portion of why I felt it was just batshit insane to want that kind of up-to-the-minute influence over my plans. (He was of the opinion that controlling others was not particularly right in the head, and became very offended when I pointed out that what he was trying to do is one of the more common newbie-dom demands.)
…and here you (generic you) thought it’d be something interesting and/or simple, like anal. 