If Heaven’s playing gospel and Hell’s a rap club, I need a lot of time to think.
Yeah, I think God wishes we’d chosen His favorite analogy: Demons blasting POLKA in Hell.
Oh, and we’ll all have to participate! Square dance at noon, Drunken Polish Wedding Polka lessons at 2, 4 and 6, Texas Two-Step at 3:15. And another square dance after dinner (tonight: cold grits, tough liver, pale brocolli and a half pint of milk.)
I once drew a cartoon with a dweebish guy sitting on a landing. The stairs down had a sign "Heavy Metal"; and a sign pointing upstairs said "Opera". The guy looked indecisive, sitting under the sign that said "Pugatory".
Yeah, The New Yorker had pretty much the same reaction...I would certainly be tempted to do something to the tires and/or antenna. So far, I’ve resisted temptation when confronted with this sort of assholery, but I have been tempted. Also, windshield wipers are quite easy to remove. Just saying.
Uuhhm, I’m not sure he really expected an answer. In your defense, it is an old song.
There’s also the potato in the tailpipe trick.
I rarely carry potatoes around with me while I go about my daily business. I DO carry a knife with me. However, in case we get the Blaring Gospel Lady in our neighborhood, I’m sure that I can spare a potato for a good cause.
Reminds me of a joke from Fresh Prince of Bel Air, where Hillary attempt a retaliation ended with her saying something to the effect of “I tried that but the potato didn’t scratch much and my keys kept falling out of the tailpipe.”
I agree that in that case, a knife would be the appropriate instrument. However, in the OPs case, nothing prevents him to bring a potato/banana or any other appropriate produce with him when he goes downstairs to scream at the BGL.
Bah, I’m 24 years old. Don’t start quoting me 60s rock lyrics like I’m supposed to be familiar with them!
Hmmm, does the produce need to be rich in potassium? Or will any firm produce do? I’m afraid that I had an impoverished childhood, I was fairly strictly supervised so I didn’t get into the mischief that most kids managed to get into.
I’ve tried to make up for it as an adult, but it’s just not the same.
Any firm produce of the appropriate diameter will do.
And just what makes you think the putative evangelist really was on the side of Goodness and Light?
I am reminded of a campaign trick I heard of during the Nixon years (IIRC) in which workers for the Republicans would ring people at 2.00 in the morning pretending to be push-pollsters from the Democrats trying to drum up support (it may have been the other way round - I don’t mean to slight the Republicans particularly. Neither side tends to have clean hands in these things).
If I was Satan’s ad agency, it’s what I’d do.
I 'd imagine blowing up the gospelmobile quite happily
So the doors are open and it’s right outside your window?
Next time, throw a bucket of water in there.
Tramp.
Bringing in the shivs
Bringing in the shivs
We shall come rejoycing…
A lot of times it’s because they don’t actually think they’re going to convert you. They’re hoping you’re hateful and oppressive so they can pretend they’re marginalized cultists without traveling back to ancient Rome or converting to Scientology.