Worrying about Outdoor Germs never even occurred to me. We took her out the day after we got home from the hospital, and basically every day after that. I was supposed to sit at home for two months till she had her shots?! Seriously?
It took a while to get a proper handle on the logistics, and I did have the same moment as PeskiPiksi: the sudden ‘OMG what if she starts crying and WON’T STOP??’ I gradually worked out that a) it’s a baby, they cry, I’ve heard a million of them doing it and I never thought anything of it at all, and b) if all else fails, boobies. This works in many situations.
Some people are just worriers. I started taking my babies out as soon as they were born and they all did fine. I didn’t worry about them eating stuff off the floor, while others were so freaked out about that, in fact my son’s first solid food was a dead fly he found!
Even now, I have different standards than many I know now. Yes, my 7 year old is allowed to go 3 blocks to the park by himself. Yes, my 9 year old bikes herself to school. Yes, my 11 year old walks to the library after school and hangs out until I pick him up a few hours later. Yes, it’s okay that I my 14 year old is hanging out with his buddies and I don’t know exactly what they are up to, they are all good kids and deserve some trust.
All of the above are crazy to many helicopter parents I know, but that’s okay. Not being a big worrier allows more freedom for the kids and more peace of mind for the parents.
P.S. All 4 were unmedicated natural births, breastfed, no slings, co-slept, lots of neglect-o-matic, play pen and door swingers.
Re: the pack-n-plays, we had one just never used it much around the house. The kids seemed to prefer the bouncy chairs, etc. One thing we did find them useful for was on trips, or when one of the grandmas took the baby for the night, they could use it as a crib without having to buy one of their own.
One piece of advice I’d give to new Moms–especially if they’re not into the baby-wearing thing, is to have a “baby station” in each room. We had either a swing, bouncy chair, jumperoo, or exersaucer in each main room, including the living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms, etc. that way there’s a convenient place to stash the baby as you move around the house doing chores, without lugging a big piece of equipment with you. Of course I was lucky to have an older sister who handed most of this stuff down to me, but bouncy chairs go super cheap at garage sales and consignment sales.
And Palo Verde, I’m with you on the laid-back parenting, despite my story above. For example, witness my kids-playing-in-the-dryer debacle here.
Fortunately my hubby seems to go the other way, in being a bit overprotective, so I figure we’ll likely balance each other out on most things. Cookie falls on the floor? My reaction: meh, it won’t kill 'em, and it’ll strengthen his immune system. Hubby’s reaction: throw the cookie away and get him a new one.
Of course I also think it has to do with who’s the primary caregiver. If you’re the one with the kids 24/7, you learn to pick your battles and let the little things go, IMHO.
I was worried about the baby crying in public, too. Or while I was driving the car. I don’t know why I was worried, I just was. So I always make sure she’s freshly napped, fed, and diapered before we go, and that I have a pacifier with me–and guess what, she’s six months old and hasn’t lost it in public yet.
Until she’d had her first round of vaccinations, I always took her out in the bucket carrier and kept the shade partly pulled over her. She could still see out, but people were way less likely to touch her.
If I could give one piece of advice to scared new mothers, it would be that if you have good intentions and the barest measure of common sense, then nothing you do is going to “ruin” the baby. Eating problems, sleeping problems, pooping problems, even pinching her poor little belly with the car seat buckle–she’ll recover.
Re the whole “oh noes, my infant might get germs on him” thing: I was very laid-back and unworried about taking my first baby out into public when he was a newborn. Then at age 4 weeks he contracted RSV, which led to MRSA pneumonia, which led to a lengthy stay in the NICU including a week of intubation and two surgeries to insert chest tubes. We nearly lost him. He has breathing issues to this day, although thankfully they do seem to be clearing up now that he’s almost 10.
Anyway, I still think that you shouldn’t freak out and refuse to leave your house with your newborn. But I also think that you should tell people to keep their dirty paws off your kid unless they wash their hands first.
I went over there to find the thread you were talking about. No one’s trying to hard to challenge her, but to me it looks like they’re baiting her to watch her get loonier and loonier. One easy way to entertain yourself over there and point out the crazy with less risk of the banhammer.
When I had my first, I didn’t like taking him out because of all the crap I had to lug with me. Then I went to India when he was 18 months old and realized I was carrying too much crap with me every time we went out. So that wasn’t an issue with the second.
The reason that taking the second out was problematic was that I had to deal with two kids, and one of them could take off running whenever he wanted. Even though he was remarkably well behaved (except for a few incidents), I was convinced that if I went to the grocery by myself with them both he’d take off running, get hit by a car and I’d run after him only to have the baby then left in the cart all by herself, then she’d get pneumonia (it was the middle of winter)/get hit by a car/tumble out of the cart/other disaster scenario and I’d have to live with the guilt of having been responsible for maiming my kids for the rest of my life.
Then one day I took them both to Target alone. I told my then-3.5 year old son that I needed help with the cart and he happily pushed or held my hand and was generally delighted to walk alongside me, while his sister gawked at everything around her. Both were pretty good. Of course, he did flip out on me once in a Borders, but she was 8 months old at the time, teeny tiny.
Oh, wait. I said the mommy wars were the worst thing about mommy boards. Changed my mind…the worst thing is the formula shaming. Dear lord that pisses me off.
Last Sunday there was a young couple with a little baby in Mass; the kid was big enough to sit on her own but not to stand. At first she was asleep; once she woke up, she refused all of Mommy’s attempts to stick the pacifier in.
We figured out why after a while: you can’t sing along with a pacifier in your mouth She followed the tune better than most grown-ups…
This might have something to do with location and time of year the baby is born. My baby is going to be born during the height of flu season and we live in a city of 10 million people where we take public transportation everywhere we go. At this point I’m asking all of my family and the people who will be in close contact with her to get their flu shots and I’ve already determined she isn’t going anywhere we can’t walk to (or take a cab for doctor appointments) for the first couple of months she is alive because the level of exposure is too great. Her little immune system isn’t going to be ready to take on New York City right away!
I think you’re right about this. I was told when I had my daughter in 2009 that I should wait to take her out to the grocery or mall or anywhere there were likely to be a lot of people in a small area for about six weeks. She’s a November baby, so born during flu season.
My son, on the other hand, was ok’d to travel to India when he was a newborn. We didn’t, but the doc had no problem with it - same pediatrician. He was born in May.
She followed the tune better than most grown-ups…