why when I pee does it spray like a fire hose

some times when I pee it comes out like a car wash wand or a fire hose and nothing i do can stop it from happening… so while most of the pee goes in the toilet… some goes on the edge and over… HOW CAN I PREVENT THIS?? i yell at it but it doesnt work… any suggestions from the men in the group??

“Boy, wouldja get a load of the cloaca on that one”? -Cecil Adams, october 8 1999

Take your finger off of the end.

Its not junk - its a collection!

Uh, B, have you had unprotected sex lately? Gonorrhea; it’s the gift that keeps on giving!


“Believe those who seek the truth.
Doubt those who find it.” --Andre Gide

Easy answer, B: just sit down.

Laugh hard; it’s a long way to the bank.

Take a few steps back, then let’r rip. In fact, while you’re at it, see how far back you can get from the pisser, I never could go more than a couple feet. Maybe with your super piss, you could get a yard or two away!

“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
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It’s a rare disease called Trollus Urinarius.

I hope it’s a fatal case…

Yer pal,

Doesn’t the SD have a janitor? Hey, you’re wanted in the rest room at GQ. Wear your highest hip boots.

. . .and tell these kids ‘PC’ does not stand for ‘pissing contest’.

I once saw a guy piss over a VW Bug. I mean this guy actually cleared it with his stream. You know this guy’s using the handicapped stall to get far enough away from the terlit.
“Hermit’s don’t have peer pressure.”
-Steven Wright

Gotta ask…If you dont hold it firmly with both hands, does it flail around and swing back to piss in your face?

no… I dont mean pressure wise… that would be a DUMB question… I mean like a fan spray… not a stream but a pretty, if irritating, fan of pee that goes in many directions.

Of course, if the original poster is female, this conversation takes on a whole new dimension.

“Its fiction, but all the facts are true!”

Are you, perhaps, using the “thereputic massage” attachment on the tip?

Just add water, it makes it’s own sauce!

This happens to me occasionally. You have some adhesion at the end of your urethra. What can cause that- Sticky stuff on your glans penis. Got a blow job lately (w/ altoids)? Had sex and went right to sleep? Beat off and didn’t clean up? Painted you dick with water-soluble paint? I guess it could also come from inside (cowper’s gland??, etc.). Do you wear edible underwear?

Does it happen only in the morning, or at anytime of the day without warning.

You may wish to inspect you organ before use. My experience is that mine looks sealed up.

Now, if this happens too often for your liking, well you know, you may need to consult you-know-who. It just might be a STD.

We could make a whole new thread about thing we didn’t want to know…:-/

That’s it. It’s usually foreign matter that clogs it up.

So pee in the bathtub, much bigger target.

Ok, I’ve come up with a procedure you may follow that should prevent this from happening.

Before you urinate (at home or work), wash yourself with Dr. Bronner’s castille (sp?) soap. It’s gentle and won’t burn you. After that, use a small piece of fish-tank tubing and blow a tiny amount of air in your urethra to expand it. You should enlist the help of another to hold to base of you penis as to not blow air into your nether-regions. Don’t worry about the strange looks you may get from the other men, they will know what you’re doing. Urinate normally. After that, as a propylactic against future adhesion, apply some vasoline to you penis and rub it in a little bit. Follow my advice and you will have no problems.

Oh shit, there’s an easier way.

In the morning, apply a liberal dose of vaseline to the head of your penis. Cover it up with a condom. When you have to urinate at work, just strip of the condom with the vaseline off and urinate normally. Throw the condom away in the paper waste can as it may clog the toilet.

Fire Hose, come on now dont you mean more like Garden hose…anyways

I too have had this problem…just pull your eurethra apart slightly before pissing and you should be fine…

I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

Kellibelli –

I can’t speak for the rest of the men here, but for me the grip is dependent on the current level of erection. A gentle thumb-and-index grip will prevent the “fire-hose effect” when I’m completely flaccid – Junior is very small when he’s sleeping. At half-mast or so, a finger on top of the shaft keeps it properly aimed. When there’s a serious erection going on, firm downward pressure at two points is required, and some real concentration is needed to hit the target and keep from peeing all over A) the outside of the bowl B) the floor C) my face and hand – it really bites if you lose your grip.

I hope that helps you understand the plumbing, Kelli. Thanks for the opportunity to talk to a woman about my penis. Let me know if you ever want to practice writing in the snow with me. :slight_smile:

–Da Cap’n