Need your opinions on this situation; warning, a bit long!
One of my very best girlfriends (NOT me!!) just encountered the most bizarre treatment by her boyfriend (well, as far as she is concerned, EX-boyfriend). I’m interested in your opinions on why someone would act this way.
Background: My friend, who we’ll call “Delores,” is 29 years old, smart, pretty and fun. She has a good education (master’s degree) and a good job. She has never been married and has no kids.
About 5 months ago - this past August - she met a guy, “Jonathan” and they started dating. He is 34, works for an architecture firm, good-looking, friendly, and never been married/no kids.
They started getting more serious, and after only a couple of months, he said “I love you.” She was honest and told him that she wasn’t ready to say that yet, but that she really liked him.
Well a few more weeks went by, things got more serious and she finally told him she loved him too. Time went on, and Delores brought Jonathan to her family’s out-of-town Thanksgiving where he met her entire extended family, and everyone really liked him. By all accounts, everything was going great. They saw each other 2-4 times a week, and got along very well. On the surface, he seemed almost perfect. He was loving and sweet and seemed to have a great personality.
This takes us to the incident in question: It’s a couple of weeks before Christmas and they go to a Christmas party at the bar she works at part-time. She over-imbibed, and got pretty drunk. They went back to his house afterwards and she was so drunk and started crying uncontrollably for no reason, and said she wanted to drive home. He took her keys and wouldn’t let her leave, and she finally passed out.
The next day she woke up with a hangover and they both went to work. Later on, she called him and left a voicemail. No response. She texted him. No response… she didn’t hear from him for the next two days, which is unusual since they usually talk every day. She suspected he was mad over her drunken behavior. Finally he texted her saying yes, he was mad and he didn’t have time for that kind of “psycho behavior.” For the record, she had never done anything like that before around him (i.e. gotten really drunk) and she is NOT an alcoholic.
So she tried to call him and he would not answer his phone and kept avoiding her. Finally, 2 days later she got through to him and she apologized, and they planned to meet the next night because the day after, she was going out-of-town for two weeks. They both agreed they should see each other before she left on her trip. He ended the call with “I love you.”
The next night came and went and he stood her up. The last thing she heard from him is a text saying “I’m not canceling plans, I’ll call you when I get home.” She waited all night and she never heard from him again.
She went on her trip out-of-town and more days passed and she didn’t hear from him. Finally, 3 days later, he sent a text saying “There is no excuse for what I have done, but I still love you.” She wrote back, “I’m don’t want to discuss this via text messaging, call me when you can talk.”
So 4 days go by and she doesn’t hear from him. He doesn’t respond to her voicemails or text messages. They were supposed to spend New Year’s Eve together, but that came and went with no word from him.
She is angry, hurt and confused by his behavior. Why would someone act this way? In my opinion, he is a coward who went too far too fast, and chickened out. Or maybe he is seeing someone else. But to simply not respond to her is beyond cruel and disrespectful. Dopers, what is your take on the situation?