Apparently, the writer of this article is dead serious. Who knew there were people who still believe this wooze today? It would be totally hysterical were it not for the disturbing course of action that the author suggests “true Christians” take.
(BTW, I choose to believe this is not an official policy of the Jehovah’s Witnesses but rather an even more whacked-out sub-sect.)
I see some logic here. Crude, perverse logic, but logic it is. Cats don’t follow orders. They’re no one’s slaves. They don’t reward human notions of authority and power. If you put an authoritarian God at the center of your world view, of course Felis cattus domesticus is going to disappoint you.
I saw this written up over at Pharyngula (which is, by the way, a really cool blog.)
I couldn’t believe it there either. Jeezopete.
Clearly, God is a dog person. :rolleyes: Of course I mean that God likes dogs, and not that he is some sort of half dog/half person dogstrosity. That would be blasphemous.
Ya know, I’m not a big fan of cats either, but calling them servants of Satan seems a tad much.
" Indeed, modern studies of classification of cats, while not necessarily being reliable as they may be based on the discredited ‘theory’ of evolution, strongly associate felines with serpents (despite some external differences in physiology and morphology, which confuse those who do not study these matters deeply)."
There are so many things wrong with this sentence.
…I found this to be a rather poetic idea. Hey, we may both be damned, but at least a kitty companion and I could have each other along the way.
I typed up a bunch of other stuff, too, but on preview y’alls beat me. Damn you all with the cats!
I find that religious doctrine is often too dogmatic…
…runs away >>>
There’s lots of words there but they don’t actually say anything that makes any sense.
A couple samples.
*Cats were worshipped by ancient Egyptians that means they might make us worship false idols. * Maybe those aren’t hairballs maybe they are false idols the cats are trying to get me to worship?
*Cats may have been present at the party where John the Baptist was beheaded so they are a bad influence. * I’m sure the cats were egging Herod on.
Early Christians were fed to lions, lions are related to cats therefore cats are evil. Those early Christians were fed to the lions by humans.
Cats can carry Salmonella which can make people sick therefore they are evil. So are chickens evil? Are turtles? Is mayonaisse that’s been left out in the sun for a couple hours evil?
Cats lick themselves, pee on the floor, and are playful! They must be evil! Uh … dogs do all that too.
People spend precious time cleaning litter boxes and buying cat food that could be better spent worshipping the Lord! Can’t they just pray while they scoop?
Things they accuse cats of apply to most animals, plus they are anthropomorphizing them. I can’t read this anymore, it makes my head hurt like math.
BTW, here’s a CDC report about cats and salmonella. In 278 healthy cats only one cat had salmonella. Yep, that’s a plague waiting to happen.
From the article:
Well, not the eschatological stuff … that tends to be catastrophic! 
Wasn’t that the reasoning of the church during the Middle Ages? When they burned cats along with heretics, and then got screwed during the plague years when there were no cats to kill all the disease-carrying rodents?
I guess this explains why Catholics are not true Christians!
Actually, he’d have a point there.
Oh well. I guess I’m just darned to an eternity in heck. :rolleyes:
:smack: Okay, I’ll admit it. I’ve been had. It did seem when I first read the article that it was a little too ridiculous to be serious but given the wide spectrum of “eccentric” opinions on the web, I wasn’t quite sure.
If there’s one thing you’ll learn about the internet, it’s that there’s no limit on the absurdity of things people will believe or opinions people will espouse.
Isn’t that true of all mayonnaise? <shudder>
That was one of the most stupid “essays” I have ever seen.
Nothing states that cats didn’t hang out with Herod. Well, likewise nothing says I didn’t just rob the neighborhood bank either.
Feeding cats steals time from worship. So does feeding your children. Better let them starve.
Cats eat mice, blood and all. OK, let’s teach them to Just Say No. Icky eating habits are bad, bubonic plague is cool?
Cats are independent and don’t blindly follow orders. And that’s a bad thing?
Cats are playful. Nothing infuriates a fanatic more than the possibility that someone out there might be having a good time.
Cats lick themselves. Mkay, be honest now, how many of us wish we could do that too?
[the Waterboy]Don’t be messin’ with no cats, it’s the devil![/the Waterboy]
That whole “thesis” is either a big whoosh, or someone is very deranged.
Harborwolf writes:
> Clearly, God is a dog person.
You know what an agnostic dyslectic insomniac is? It’s someone who stays up all night wondering, “Is there a dog?”
Did nobody notice this?
If cats are evil, ferrets are devils made flesh.