Maybe the gender balance is different in Spain, i.e. the “the wife is always right” is a meme that is more applicable to couples in the US?
It is unclear to me why you think you can extrapolate something lacking in the character of women from an “axiom” uttered by men to men. Possibly you can get to something about the outlook of men.
However, if you look quickly you will find that this is also said about men. And not just in the US.
A long term relationship can survive at most one partner who must be right and have that acknowledged. A happier long term relationship contains none.
Realistically, in the situation that Dio presents, his wife is obviously right: the child should be allowed to write whatever she likes. She is after all ten years old and unlikely to consititute a serious threat to anybody’s right to view porn (yet). I could just as easily maintain that the way **Dio **behaved with his daughter is just another example of how fathers dominate and oppress their female children, taking as evidence the fact that she has abandoned a subject in which she was really interested for something safe and noncontroversial which will not rock the boat. What does this say about the character of men?
Nothing of course, because I just made that shit up. You are making this up. Indeed, your need to make this up says very bad things about your view of women and your need for men to be better.
Whoops, I just made that shit up, too.
Here’s the truth: men and women are more alike than unalike. Surprise! No, seriously, try to go a whole day without deciding/cogitating on/attributing something about Men or about Women – in your own head or out loud. Just a thought experiment. You don’t have to tell anybody. But you might be surprised.
And I think you are being a little overly earnest with your claim that one cannot reason with Dio’s wife based on her telling him to go f*uck the first amendment-- she has after all been living with Dio for twenty years now and has probably at some time in those two decades been made aware of his position on this matter at some length.
I frankly thought it was hilarious. Nice rhythm on that rant. And he told it well, too. Here’s a tip: when I tell my spouse “fuck you and the horse you rode in on” I am not actually proposing any sexual act of a human or bestial nature. I am usually suggesting that the basis of his argument rests on something I do not give a tiny particle of damn about and which therefore is not going to get anywhere in (at least) my decision making process.
The meme exists in Spain too, and I do know couples where “she wears the trousers” (direct translation from Spanish).
No, the main reason there is so much misogyny in fundamentalist marriage is Biblical and cultural. Like this little poem in the Bible:
Submit to one another
out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands
as if to the Lord.
For a husband is head of the wife
as Christ is head of the church.
He is saviour of the body.
Like the church submits to Christ,
wives should submit to their husbands,
in everything.
Husbands, love your wives
like Christ loved the church.
He gave himself for her
to make her holy,
cleansing her by washing her
with water and the word (Ephesians 5:21-26).
Or this little number: "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7).
That sort of thing.
Yeah,yeah,for gods sake your RIGHT,any meme about women refusing to admit that they’re ever wrong is misogynist B/S spread about men who are thickies anyway and can’t dress themselves without help.
Now leave me alone for five minutes,
oh and I apologise for being a man …and insensitive…and I prefer THAT dress,oh I dunno the first one…and yes I’ve been listening to every word you said…NO I’ve only had ONE beer.of course I love you…
Just SHUT UP,SHUT UP!
No,no I’m sorry I didn’t mean it ,Idon’t know what came over me,sorry,sorry,sorry…
Yes, dear. And I got some more of that beer you like, let me get you one. There you are. And the paper.
So, how was your day?
Men and women simply are wired differently. The major difference, imo, is that women just can’t forget. I’m reminded of a NYer cartoon by BEK.
Wife to man about to leave the room:
“Wait a second … you and I still have a lot finished business.”
The corollary to the OP is, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
So smile, say “Yes, dear.” and don’t get caught rolling your eyes.
But seriously, faced with the question, “Would I rather be right or be happy?”, what’s to choose?
My two cents:
- Do you think the above axiom for happy marriages is correct? (Are you male or female?)
Absolutely not. I’m female; I often concede to my husband (sometimes even when I think he’s wrong) because I’m not infallible and because sometimes eating my words is worth the trouble it’d save to argue something meaningless.
-
If the axiom is correct is there a way to interpret it and not have women come out in a bad light? N/A
-
If the axiom is incorrect, why has it survived for so long?
My personal theory is that women have run the household for so long - making financial decisions, balancing books, decisions on raising the kids, planning, cooking and purchasing food, cleaning and supervising, etc. - that perhaps the saying came about because women used to be far more experienced than men at what happened in the home. So, in a sense, in her own domain, maybe husbands deferred more to women than vice versa because women were more comfortable navigating that particular area. Even now, my husband has to ask me how to clean the sink (what cleanser to use, what rag is designated for it, etc.) or do something as basic as cooking rice, even when the directions are on the package. That’s certainly not true for all men, but for some, it still is.
However, if you were to challenge a woman from the 1920s on how to run an office, I doubt anyone would’ve come up with the answer “women are always right.”
In my opinion, the saying that women are always right is based on the situation and also outdated (though I don’t think it was accurate in the first place) since men are more involved in the day-to-day running of a household.
-
People who write posts in the heat of the moment about how they’re always conceding to their harpy-shrew probably neglect to consider everything their harpy-shrew does for them, including conceding just to get everyone to STFU. This is because they’re pissed about a single issue and develop tunnel vision and go online to commiserate.
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If in fact, one person, male or female, is always giving in to the other party while receiving nothing in return, I would hardly extend that to be a damning statement on the entire gender of the dominant person. Rather, it reflects some sort of power imbalance in that relationship. Could be money, one person feels to pathetic to leave etc. etc.
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This thread reminds me of the general meme on this board, which is that women are horrible btches (except for all Doper women who are high-minded and polyamorous and never friends with women, just men, because women are catty btches). It’s kind of strange for me to then turn around and read the next “Why don’t women realise what a catch I am?” thread du jour.
YMMV
I’m female, and I don’t. If I didn’t want someone to call me on it when I’m being unreasonable and to help me make important decisions by being smart and informative, I’d have a dog instead of a husband. There are plenty of people out there who always need to be right; in my experience it hasn’t correlated with gender, but that’s not exactly scientific. Even if it did, I’m sure it wouldn’t be 100%.
I will say that I am less likely to back down than my husband is when I’m sure I’m right, but that’s mostly because he enjoys offering me his sage advice on topics about which I know vastly more than he does, to the point that I am slightly offended that he’s even trying to tell me how I should be doing it. (Such as cooking [he’s just started learning to cook this year], anything related to the field of research in which I work [I work in neuroscience, he works in compuers], or things like that.) As I would never, say, try to tell him how to configure a network, the reverse situation has not, in fact, come up.
N/A
I don’t know; why are you supposed to throw salt over your shoulder when you spill it? Why does Snopes serve such a vital role in my interactions with my extended family?
Probably because people will repeat any stupid shit they hear, especially if it’s a vastly broad generalization about one gender.
When women on this board complain about “Nice Guys” and their behavior, or about being harassed/catcalled in public, initially guys may think “Nah, that behavior can’t be *that *prevalent” (with the implied “I never behave like this, and most of my friends don’t behave like this, so I don’t think it’s that prevalent among my gender”)
However, after repeated posts by several women that they do indeed experience these things quite frequently, people start to think “Maybe these things do happen more often than I had thought or noticed. Maybe the proportion of my gender who behaves like this is higher than I had thought”
But, in threads like this one, where men try to explain what sorts of behaviors they experience from women, they are waved off with the equivalent of “Well I certainly don’t behave like that and most women I know don’t behave like that, so I don’t think it’s that prevalent among my gender. It’s a myth”
It is highly possible that, just as the men are not keyed in to how prevalent some of the bad male behaviors are, women are also not keyed in to how prevalent some of the bad female behaviors are.
Not that every man behaves in a bad way, or every woman behaves in a bad way, but there is a sufficiently large percentage of each gender that engages in certain behavior that the other gender notices.
Just let them have their way. Fine…women never do that. They’re totally right, we’re totally wrong. When does that Vikings-Packers game start?
Have we forgotten the Ron Thread so soon? (Can’t figure out how to search for it, damn three-letter word.)
The hard part is that for things like street harassment, the behavior is pretty obvious. For things like “nice guys” women can quote passages that people post and say, “See that? That is what we’re talking about when we refer to passive-aggressive nice-guy behavior.”
Behavior in couples is different because, with rare exceptions, people argue, they’re right to varying degrees, and they admit it to varying degrees. It’s a more gray-area situation.
Also, the women who’ve posted have just mentioned their experiences, since the meme seems to suggest that all women are like this. The catcalling and Nice Guy threads have never suggested that all men are like that.
I fully acknowledge that some wives always need to be right. However, I’ve encountered some husbands that do the same thing.
Heh, it’s easy to say “all.” When my sister (back in high school) said “everyone is doing it,” my mother told her “name everyone.” Of course, everyone meant everyone my sister knew at the time. You get my point, I imagine.
I’m quite sure there are women who must be “right,” just as there are men who must be, as well. It’s easy to lump an entire sex into a broad-brush comment.
I’m female. I don’t have to be right all the time. I also don’t like being told I’m wrong and having my nose rubbed in it. Discussing usually is the best route, imo 
Why has this lasted? Sons hear their dads, etc. As someone else said, why do we throw salt over our left shoulder after spilling it? For good luck, or prevent something bad from happening. I don’t know where that came from. I could look it up, but it isn’t important enough for me to do so.
So, it’s a stereotype that’s been applied, but as I said, there a men And women who are like that, imo. ymmv, of course
It’s a false choice. In that scenario, you are either unhappy because your SO is going out of their way to make you unhappy; or you are unhappy because you are being browbeaten into lying or silence. Frustration, fear, humiliation or rage isn’t happiness any more than sleeping on the couch alone is.
I haven’t really seen many threads titled, “The prevalance of annoying interactions with men: Implication for the Character of All Men Everywhere that were Ever Born?”
On the other hand I see plenty o’ threads along the lines of
“Gosh, why are women complaining about feminism when things have been peachy keen for all women for like, forever?”
Ooooh and I know I don’t post very much but I having been around for a while I do remember when this Board was a hotbed of highminded discussion about the character and habits of all black people everywhere who have ever existed throughout the world. Like, “Why do Black People do ‘X’” and “What is the rationale for a black person’s decision to do ‘Y’” And X and Y would be stuff like “eat watermelon” or “prefer ribs” and such.
So ya know, forgive me but the subtext of all these threads on the collective nature of all those meany b*tches everywhere kinda creeps me out.
Oh and I work in a viper’s nest, i.e. legal office, as the only female attorney and I can assure you that everyone considers himself/herself absolutely right, all the time. :dubious: My mentor and I have been known to argue for hours (like our infamous two week spat on whether or not putting kids into “honors” classes etc. is a valid educational tactic) No one gives in. We just kind of forget about it till the newest argument comes up.
My ex did indeed have a horrible history of making really stupid decisions that caused great damage. I didn’t believe it. I stayed in the marriage until I experienced enough to need to exit the marriage.
I have seen its relevance first hand, but I refuse to put up with it. See my latter bit of information.
I think there may be some truth in this, but I am not sure how much. Confirmation bias is also strong in me.
We want mor-RON, melodyharmonius!!!
Just wanted to add that I find that it isn’t just women that are this way, but it seems to be that there is generally one person in the relationship that exibits this behavior, and the other is usually “Well, whatever, you’re right… lets move on.”