Wife comatose? Fuck her when you visit again and again.

[SSG_Schwartz]

FTR, as most of you know, I am a married, heterosexual male. **babygirl **and I have been married for over ten years and have learned a lot about compromise and adjustment. (Bear with me, this gets to the OP. This post also will have TMI sexually, so stick around.)

Anyway, I have a much higher sex drive than babygirl. Also, like a former Commander in Chief, I only consider it sex if my penis is in a woman’s special place. **babygirl **enjoys this act maybe three or four times a year. Has nothing to do with my skill as a lover, has a lot to do with the way her body was made. Neither of us are into anal, and oral is a infrequent event. So that leaves manual stimulation. That is not my favorite sexual act, but it does have the same result for the both of us.

So, to relate this to the OP, I desire sex more often than my wife. So there are many times when she will stroke me to keep me happy, because it makes her happy to make me happy. On her part, she many times, has no sexual needs of her own when she does me. It is her way of expressing affection and intimacy. I love her for doing that. Again, it is not my first choice, but it is what she can offer to keep me happy. I show her affection by giving her back rubs, hand holding, and other non-sexual acts that keep us close.

So, to get directly to the point, if babygirl was to go into a coma tomorrow, she would expect me to still have the same needs. She would want to satisfy those needs to the best of her ability. So if she woke up to discover that I was in prison for allowing her to share in our intimacy, she would be devastated. OTOH, if she was in a coma for years and she discovered that I had never tried to have sex with her, she would really wonder where I was getting from.

So I would have to say, let the state stay the fuck out of this relationship until she awakens and decides to press charges.

SSG Schwartz

[levdrakon]

@Guinastasia

comes out of lurking

Can we add misogynist to that too? Yes, I’m doing one of my “me too!” posts, but I couldn’t let this past. levdrakon, do you hear just how hateful you are acting towards women in general? Fucking sexist asswart.

goes back to lurking

Sexist how? Men here don’t care what their woman or significant other does. If you care, it’s on you and your body, not men.

Call me sexist all you want. I got lots of women friends who could kick your ass, I am certain. Ooh, that probably makes me sexist too.

Fuck off. I’ll stick with my women friends and you can hide your vagina, honey.

[rayh]

@Revenant_Threshold

Clearly the knowledge of which I lack includes whether it exists or not.

See post #176, your timing sucks too.

[levdrakon]

Well, I asked the SO woman in my life and she said it would be rape. Then I reversed the genders and she said “well, if you put it that way, no.”

Hm.

[Miller]

@levdrakon

No problem. We are in agreement. Your hoochie probably gets hit once a decade. My cock? Muuuuuch more often.

I have absolutely no trouble at all believing that you’re a frequent recipient of a cock-punch.

[levdrakon]

@Miller

I have absolutely no trouble at all believing that you’re a frequent recipient of a cock-punch.

If by “cock punch” you mean my women friends find me a pain-in-the-ass then yes.

If you mean I could take it, give you one back and you would fall crying to the floor like a little baby, then also yes.

[Miller]

Whoosh.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

@Miller

I have absolutely no trouble at all believing that you’re a frequent recipient of a cock-punch.

Win.

[levdrakon]

I don’t think “whoosh” or “win” mean what you think they mean.

[Freudian_Slit]

@EllisDee

So it’s fine to have sex with your sleeping girlfriend for the same reason?

I don’t know if it’s “fine,” but I suppose I don’t see waking someone up with a blow job as necessarily rape. I suppose it might be, but waking up someone, male or female, with oral sex is a little different because the aim is for them to wake up. When someone’s in a coma, or passed out drunk, they’re not going to come to. They can’t consent to whatever is being done to them.

[Freudian_Slit]

@levdrakon

Well, I asked the SO woman in my life and she said it would be rape. Then I reversed the genders and she said “well, if you put it that way, no.”

For what it’s worth, I thought that Garp’s mother raped his father in “World According to Garp.”

[mudkicker]

@Cat_Fight

He put his dick in someone who was in a coma. I didn’t think I could put it in a worse light.

I’ve got to ask the married, male, hetero Dopers: Do you have free access to your wife’s vagina? Does it matter if she’s feeling ill, not in the mood, on her period or unconscious? If yes, did you come to an agreement or did you just assume this would be the case from your honeymoon on? Did you have free access while you were still dating? Do you feel the need to satisfy her when having intercourse? Under what circumstances (if any) would she be able to turn you down?

Well said. I can’t believe the responses in this thread. She was IN A FUCKING COMA. SHE COULDN’T GIVE CONSENT. What, being married or in a relationship means a guy can have access to his partner’s vagina any time he wants? How fucking creepy is that, him just climbing on up there and fucking his comatose wife?

I love the Dope. I can also take a joke, and I can be as disgusting and foul-mouthed as the next person. But ffs, if someone can’t consent, or isn’t consenting, that’s rape. How fucking hilarious.

And Levdrakon? Women treat their vaginas as sacramental if they don’t want something in them they didn’t consent to? Fuck you.

[levdrakon]

@mudkicker

And Levdrakon? Women treat their vaginas as sacramental if they don’t want something in them they didn’t consent to? Fuck you.

Get over yourself. Everyone has control over their own body, and if you don’t, you’re a fuckwad.

Coma? Fuck you for speaking for this woman and her body. Get the fuck away from women’s bodies and what their spouse can or can’t do with it, asshole.

[mudkicker]

K. Would you treat your ass like a sacrament if some guy tried to put his dick in it? Or would you say, hey, slide on in there, sailor, I don’t want to seem like I’m treating my ass all sacramental! Nope, didn’t think so.

‘Everyone has control over their own body, and if you don’t, you’re a fuckwad.’

I’m glad you get it.

Yes, everyone has control over their own body, or should have, which is why putting your dick in someone without their consent is a crime. The fact that you talk about what a spouse ‘can do’ with their partner’s body shows that you don’t seem to grasp this basic concept. I think that makes you the asshole. Perhaps you whine and rant about women portraying their vaginas as sacramental because you don’t get near any.

[levdrakon]

@mudkicker

K. Would you treat your ass like a sacrament if some guy tried to put his dick in it? Or would you say, hey, slide on in there, sailor, I don’t want to seem like I’m treating my ass all sacramental! Nope, didn’t think so.

‘Everyone has control over their own body, and if you don’t, you’re a fuckwad.’

I’m glad you get it.

Yes, everyone has control over their own body, or should have, which is why putting your dick in someone without their consent is a crime. The fact that you talk about what a spouse ‘can do’ with their partner’s body shows that you don’t seem to grasp this basic concept. I think that makes you the asshole. Perhaps you whine and rant about women portraying their vaginas as sacramental because you don’t get near any.

If you ever got near a member of the opposite sex that didn’t involve blowing it into its full balloon form, I’d consider buying what you say, but you’re evidently sexless and possible 13.

Once you let the family poodle go and actually have sex with an adult human you might grasp some of this “have sex with me even if I’m comatose” stuff.

[Chimera]

Who else keeps hearing The Smiths Girlfriend in a Coma while reading this thread?

[pbbth]

I’m not one to speak for this man or his wife, all I know is that if I were in a coma for a long period of time (say, 6 months or more) I would much rather my husband have a FWB relationship than fuck my motionless body. He can lay next to me, stroke my hair, read to me (but not the bible, read me something interesting and worth listening to), and whatever else, but invading my body when I am an invalid because he is horny is not acceptable. I understand that he loves me and wants to feel connected to me and if he wants to hold my hand or snuggle against me and tell me about his day and how much he misses being able to talk to me that is fine. If he feels like he needs to find someone to take care of his sexual needs that is also fine. I just can’t fathom that he would be okay with having sex with me when I can’t move or respond. Hell, would I even be able to get wet enough for him to have sex with me without causing some sort of vaginal trauma?

If this guy is okay with it and his wife isn’t bothered by it when she comes out of her coma then that is great. I hope for his sake that she isn’t bothered by it.

[SSG_Schwartz]

@pbbth

I’m not one to speak for this man or his wife, all I know is that if I were in a coma for a long period of time (say, 6 months or more) I would much rather my husband have a FWB relationship than fuck my motionless body. He can lay next to me, stroke my hair, read to me (but not the bible, read me something interesting and worth listening to), and whatever else, but invading my body when I am an invalid because he is horny is not acceptable. I understand that he loves me and wants to feel connected to me and if he wants to hold my hand or snuggle against me and tell me about his day and how much he misses being able to talk to me that is fine. If he feels like he needs to find someone to take care of his sexual needs that is also fine. I just can’t fathom that he would be okay with having sex with me when I can’t move or respond. Hell, would I even be able to get wet enough for him to have sex with me without causing some sort of vaginal trauma?

If this guy is okay with it and his wife isn’t bothered by it when she comes out of her coma then that is great. I hope for his sake that she isn’t bothered by it.

pbbth, I really respect your opinions. I do like to hear and see your posts, but if you think that a true loving husband would invade your body because he is horny, you are misunderstanding the premise here. The accused in this case took care of his wife’s spiritual needs, tried to take care of her physical needs (moving her joints), and tried to bring an intimacy to the relationship that she has not had.

To me this is an expression of love, not of getting the rocks off. If that was all he wanted, the outrage would be over his getting arrested for solicitation of prostitution.

SSG Schwartz

[pbbth]

Originally Posted by SSG Schwartz

To me this is an expression of love, not of getting the rocks off. If that was all he wanted, the outrage would be over his getting arrested for solicitation of prostitution.

I don’t know, I think there are many, many ways to show love and be intimate that don’t involve penetration. I understand that he and his wife may feel differently than I do though so I have no problem with his actions, I just wouldn’t want my significant other to do the same thing.

[Siam_Sam]

@Annie-Xmas

Nitpick: Nope. The man’s name was T.S. Garp, and that’s what Jenny named her son by him. At the point of climax, he said “Good.”

That sounds familiar. I remembered incorrectly.