Wild Goat Containment?

We are in possession of a wild and wiley mountain goat. Goat does not want to sleep in his crib! Goats wants to GO! Goat wants to eat delicious books! Goat wants to scoot down the hall and dig in the trash for goaty treasure! Goat want OUT!

Goat too big for crib! Even though crib has been lowered as far as possible, goat in possession of mutant upper arm strength! Goat also very tall! Goat can climb over crib walls because goat does not need feet! Goat arms are strong enough to lift him to top of railing! Goat lucky- mommy has caught him dangling and prevented a goaty boom (which would be very sad). But soon, mommy run out of luck.

Now what? Goats cannot sleep in toddler bed. Goat still escape, go boom. Goat need crib. Goat only 9 months.

Goat cannot sleep with mommy and daddy. Goat bites noses. Pulls daddy chest hair. Kicks daddy’s dangley bits. Flicks mommy’s lip to see those curious teeth. Goat escape off end of bed. Goat go boom.

How can we contain goat during sleep phase?

Perhaps a Goat-Tex harness?

When he was little, a friend of mine used to hitch his crib over to the light switch (it had wheels so it moved pretty easily), turn the light on, then fling his blanket (for padding) then himself onto the floor. Then he would continue to play as he had been before being cruelly restrained. I don’t know if his parents ever managed to stop this behavior.

I have to say it…Duct tape?

Good luck. When my Goat #1 was this age, she managed to pitch herself headfirst out of her crib onto her head not once, not twice, but three times. Thank heaven people weren’t as quick to report child abuse in those days, considering the bruises on her forehead each time. I never did figure out a way to stop it. You’d think after the first time she might have figured out it didn’t feel good, but nooo, she did it again. And again.

Which may explain why she fits in so perfectly with the Dope these days. Right, Whiterabbit? :smiley:

We turned the playpen upside down and put a concrete block on it.


Perhaps if you attached a pully to the ceiling, then ran a length of metal wire through it, attaching one end to the crib, and the other end to a small dog…

No, nevermind that would never work.
But perhaps if you lined the top of the crib with a motion detecting laser grid, and set it up to trigger a snood to be launched out of a hole in the wall at a velocity of about eight furlongs per fortnight… Well, you see where I’m goin with this. It sould work well.

Milk him?

Ummm… is this about a real goat? I’m confused by the reference here and hastily misinterpreted the possible entendre here. I went to the Ox roast tonight and partied a bit too much. I was thinking of Goat in the usual SDMB perversity. Sorry for this weirdness.

inkleberry, I am not recommending this or bearing any liability for this [/posterior covering], but one single mother of a goat I know has secured two baby gates across the top of the crib with hinges and latches to serve as a top set of bars.

The other option, if your goat isn’t real bright (heh) is a crib net, designed for keeping bugs out. It keeps some goats in for a little longer until they figure out goats are not bugs.

Failing all, it’s time for either a big boy bed or a mattress on the floor, a cleaned up and babyproofed room, and a hook and eye on the outside of his door. I know, locking your goat in seems hazardous and heartless, but if you can make his room safe, it’s really the best option - he really could damage himself wandering around at night unsupervied.

(good to see you back, by the way. I missed you guyses!)

I had friends who also had a wild mountain goat. After she leapt headfirst out of her crib one day, they gave in and got a mattress. Don’t remember if they did anything about the door…

Wow…sounds like he’s getting big! Hope this is a short phase.


How about padding the floor around the goat-pen, so if Li’l Goat does hop over the wall, the “boom” quotient is kept minimal?

This sort of answer, I realize, proves that I do not have children … :o

How about a velcro suit?

Good to see you on the boards again.

I did the same thing when I was a baby. My parents decided to toss the crib and put me in a real bed.

Put goat in barn!!!

We put the crib mattress on the floor, and baby-proofed the bedroom for goat #1, who was quite willing to make sure we knew she was awake if she woke up at night, and who firmly believed that only Mommy Goat and Daddy Goat had the mystical wisdom required to open doors–at least until she was old enough to toddle out to the family room, turn on the TV and push the Play button on the VCR at 6am all by herself. She got a toddler bed a couple of weeks after putting the mattress on the floor.

For goat #2, we put the crib mattress on the floor, and baby-proofed the bedroom for, AND turned the doorknob around to lock from the outside. He liked to wander around at 3am, and was VERY quiet when doing so. He didn’t get a toddler bed for quite a while, though, because he fell out of beds way too easily, and the mattress on the floor was quite comfortable.