Since that “three racist peas in a pod” thread I’ve been thinking about researching the subject just to see if we could have a civil debate. I think I could probably make some sort of argument about relaxing some sort of law. I remember just a couple years ago that I was a teenager and I thought it was stupid to make an some kid register as a sex offender because she was caught having sex with her boyfriend. And who in their right mind charges a kid with distribution of child pornography if the picture is of themselves? Sexting was common when I was in school, I’m sure it’s even more common now. I’m sure there’s stupid laws about child molestation that I could argue against.
Perhaps in my better judgement, I repeatedly decide this isn’t a debate worth having because it will make people too angry. You have told me in no uncertain terms that you consider anyone who presents such a view to be arguing in bad faith. I don’t want to be called a troll, but I do have opinions. You would get mad at me and probably call me a troll, nobody would want to debate me in good faith, and so all I take away is the research I did for the pro-molestation side. Why would I want that?
So instead I haven’t researched anything about child molestation and carry on as I was before.
This isn’t the only topic I have backed down from, either. As recently as today, I was weighing whether to create a debate thread concerning whether using the n-word as an insult is always hate speech. I don’t think it is. I would have participated in such a debate with the intention of changing my mind. But, you know, I don’t want to bring that down on myself. I’ll just get virtually yelled at. I don’t actually use that word, not in real life and not in my inner monologues. No skin in the game. I already regret expressing what I have in ATMB. On the other hand, Riemann telling me I’m objectively wrong doesn’t change my mind one iota.
So instead, I haven’t researched anything about hate speech or the n-word, I haven’t had my arguments fleshed out and criticized, and I carry on as I was before.
There was some furor a few months ago about misogyny. nate or someone had made a thread about how he was so distracted by female streetwalkers that he had trouble focusing on the road, but the furor was over him saying he would think, “I’d f— that”. I knew a little about feminism but it was truly perplexing to see posters I was coming to respect come down on the use of a single word like that and saying this is what’s wrong with the boards. I decided this is something I simply must understand, and decided to ask. I probably gave Broomstick and others a huge headache, I probably came across as a troll, but I came out with my own understanding, possibly the wrong one, but better than blind acceptance.
I came out of that debate feeling like I was unworthy to have an opinion about how women feel on the issue of sexual objectification. Like, if the issue of misogyny on these boards were put to a vote, I had best abstain since apparently I don’t have a clue. The onus is on me to make an effort to research the topic first. So I did some further research into sexual objectification. I made a thread to discuss, which you may remember. Not a single woman replied, and I think I ended up agreeing with octopus and Shodan before the thread died out. Not… the debate I was looking for, although I value their contributions.
There was a thread about the Trump impeachment. You may remember that I picked my hill and died on it. I learned a lot by researching my position and reading replies, probably more about constitutional law than I ever learned in school. I also got this strong vibe of, “get out of our thread” from some which sucks the fun out of it and makes me think twice before posting in political threads.
Then there was that thread, similar to this one, “Discourse on the Dope” or something like that. I had an unpopular opinion, or rather, I failed to understand the rationale behind the popular opinions. Several people who I respect quit the debate, some twice, try as I may to stay civil and keep an open mind. I hate the feeling I got then, it’s the most undesirable outcome of a debate when the other side just says this isn’t worth it any more and walks away. I was stressing them out by having my opinion and not understanding theirs. I don’t like stressing people out. Even worse, they had skin in the game, and I don’t. Who am I to try and make sense of someone else’s cause celebre? By probing, am I doing more harm than good? Every day I considered whether it is in the spirit of this board to just stand down. That stresses me out. Conveniently vacation time came around and forced me to retire anyways.
I suppose this is only tangentially related to whether certain viewpoints will be de jure banned, but I occasionally ask myself whether I am de facto banning myself from expressing certain opinions out of politeness. More importantly, I ask myself whether that is a good thing in the long run.
~Max