No, a gay person is who they “are.” Attending gay pride marches, wearing rainbows, and bringing their partner to a parent’s home are things they “do.”
Not necessarily. The vast majority of Hassidic Jews are ultra-orthodox, but there are also a sizeable percentage of non-hassidic Jews who are also ultra-orthodox.
The term ultra-orthodox is a media term that has no religious meaning (lately there’s been a move to try to get the term “fervently orthodox” into play, to avoid the negative connotations of “ultra”), but it roughly corresponds to a valid grouping. (Also known as “Black Hats”, or, in Israel “Haredim”, or “Schorim” (blacks - also for the hats)).
There are all sorts of differences that you will tend to find between the different groups, and individual cases may vary and there are a lot of borderline cases, but the most fundamental difference - and the most significant one for our purposes here - is openness to and integration with the wider Gentile/secular culture. Ultra-orthodox Jews do not generally have televisions, VCRs, watch movies, listen to pop music, attend college or read much secular literature etc. etc., in contrast with Modern Orthodox Jews. This is significant in terms of the extent to which the society mirrors the larger secular/Gentile society.
(BTW, FWIW, here’s a letter by a well known orthodox rabbi offering what I would consider be the mainstream orthodox attitude to homosexuality.)
In review I see that I mispoke. I apologize for the error. That, however, doesn’t change the fact that you’re using a fallacious arguement to assert that there are no ultra-Orthodox Jews who are gay. The fact that homosexuals are present in every culture, including those that harshly treat them such as Saudi and Egyptian socieity, belies the idea that there are none in yours. Your assertion is absurd.
I really appreciate your lumping being gay with such minor offenses as blasphemy, gossiping, and adultery. It’s far more common to see it lumped in with murder and child molestation. Perhaps there is hope for you yet. :rolleyes:
Then I apologize for calling you dishonest.
Not so. The idea that harsh treatment is something that would preclude homosexual orientation is your idea, not mine. Fact is that although it is, again, widely accepted that environmental factors can influence sexual orientation, it is very unclear just what those factors might be. So ruling out any particular one shows nothing at all. But FWIW, the ones I see being tossed around most often have to do with gender roles/family structure, not harsh treatment.
Personally I would also venture that societal attitudes towards sexual identity in general might be a factor. (In my aforementioned thread, I speculated that the vast majority of people are actually bisexual, but are driven towards one or another extreme of the Kinsey scale by the need - driven by social pressure - to have a clearly identifiable sexual identity).
But these are all speculation. I am not basing my position on these possible specific factors, but on my intimate familiarity with the community being discussed. All this talk about what might or might not influence orientation is theoretical - to say that observable facts do not contradict any logical principles.
Page three, no answers. Lots of FASCINATING debate on whether the angels dancing on the head of the pin are orthodox or Hassidic, with some HYPNOTIC discussion on whether they are dancers or just dancing.
Can we maybe discuss the laryngial mechanics of the chhh sound, like in Chhhanukka? That should take up another page or two.
Izzy said, “Ultra-orthodox Jews do not generally have televisions, VCRs, watch movies, listen to pop music, attend college or read much secular literature etc. etc., in contrast with Modern Orthodox Jews.”
Then how do you explain the self-described homosexuals within the ultra community?
lissener
Probably Hassidic - they’re much more into dancing :D.
I think I addressed the OP pretty forthrightly. It appears that you have been asking for something else that was not readily apparent. And possibly, you are only looking for a specific answer to make you happy. So it goes.
Kalhoun
I don’t understand this question. Perhaps you can explain it a bit more.
How does the Straight Dope and the internet fit into the community?
Well, we did get Svt4Him to say that he hopes that he wouldn’t love his son any less if he were to come out as gay – which is actually a backpedal from before when he asserted flat out that he wouldn’t love him any less back on page 2 (except that his answer wasn’t clear and was buried in an attempt to turn the question around on the questioner).
I am of the belief that these people realize that their position on homosexuality is contrary to Christ’s teachings, and engage in evasive and defensive maneuvers in order to avoid facing that. Hence all the bobbing and weaving we see whenever this comes up.
Thank you, Kalhoun! Considering that I am and know many gay people who grew up in small towns to small cities in the middle of Podunk in the 60s and 70s, when there was no positive or even negative gay presence in the media and certainly none in day-to-day life, I don’t see how an isolation from mainstream culture can affect sexual orientation much. I didn’t even know what the feelings I had were called until I was 13. I certainly didn’t know that I wasn’t the only pervert around until later. If isolation from positive models of homosexuality were a known preventative of homosexuality, I should be married with four kids by now…
KellyM, I doubt IzzyR is terribly worried about what is or isn’t against Christ’s teachings. 
Respectfully, lissener, it seems the thread very early got steered in the direction, not of “tell us how would you feel, and why, so we can see if an understanding can be achieved” but into “tell us how you feel, and we’ll tell you off 'cause you’re just WRONG”.
e.g: Svt4Him’s statements about continuing to love and care for the gay child, only to have Kalhoun demand that it become active gay-issues militancy or else it’s not love; Or, the question of whether you’d rather have your son marry the (male) head neurosurgeon (or whatever) or a crack whore, where disqualifying “neither” or “both” as answers makes it a pointless “gotcha” rhetorical corner; Or, the rather knee-jerky reactions to what was an obvious hyperbole for how to react to relgious fanatism.
You’ll be waiting a long time for answers that way, brother.
JRDelirious said, "e.g: Svt4Him’s statements about continuing to love and care for the gay child, only to have Kalhoun demand that it become active gay-issues militancy or else it’s not love; "
I never said it had to be militancy. That’s your interpretation of displaying a photograph or having dinner together, I guess. Those were merely examples of many ways a person could support someone they love. Homosexuality isn’t a hobby; it’s in the very fiber of the person. If you truly love the person, it shouldn’t be an issue. If they ask for your support (such as they would in asking you to watch them play in a football game) you should do it.
Izzy, to clarify what I meant before…you said that because the Ultras are sheltered from the world around them, they wouldn’t fall prey to being gay. Yet, there are an equal percentage of gays in the ultra world. So how did they get that way if they’ve been sheltered? Could it be they were born that way?
And, incidently…I haven’t been sheltered from gayness in the slightest. And I’m straight.
Izzy doesn’t acknowledge that there are Gay people in that community, Kalhoun.
jayjay, I realize that. But IzzyR isn’t the one bobbing and weaving. His delusion is of a totally different nature.
JRDelirious, Svt4Him’s profession of continued love for his hypothetically gay love cannot be characterized as unequivocal. We can all see that he’s not comfortable with that answer, and I’d love to know why he can’t be comfortable with it. In a battle between his religiously-imprinted hatred of homosexuals and his love for his children, which would win?
I realize he doesn’t acknowledge it, but maybe because he never watched “Trembling before G-d”. If he’d open his eyes to what his own people are saying, he’d know that gays DO exist in his community.
These are kind of evolving. For the most part, the proscriptions above are not outright bans - there’s nothing in the Bible or rabbinic literature about any of it - but are accepted as necessary in terms of preserving the proper religious mentality and attitudes. The early returns on the internet have been pretty negative - there have been numerous calls for people to avoid the internet unless they need it for professional purposes, and most particularly, to keep it away from their house and children. But it’s hard to say for certain what will become accepted practice.
There are a lot of orthodox Jewish websites on the net, but I am not aware of any ultra-orthodox ones.
As for the SDMB, you don’t see a whole lot of us around, do you? I’m the only one, AFAIK. 
The isolation from mainstream culture does not affect orientation per se. The isolation from mainstream culture allows for the existence of another culture, which may or may not have the same environmental impact on the development of sexual orientation as the mainstream one.
Kalhoun
This seems kind of bizarre. The entire point of my bringing up the “sheltered” bit was in support of my position that there are NOT “equal percentage of gays in the ultra world”. I don’t see how this could have escaped your notice. So you are asking me to explain a fact that I’ve brought in support of my position under the assumption that my position is false. You seem to be playing some sort of game, unless I am continuing to misunderstand you.
(On preview: I’ve addressed “Trembling Before G-d”. Read the thread.)
(Although, a note for homebrew: I wouldn’t go so far as to say that there aren’t any, and I think I’ve been pretty careful in my posts in this regard. I say extremely rare - and not anywhere as common as the general population, and not common enough for it to be a concern for parents).
Er. That should be “hypothetically gay son”. Sorry.