So here’s the prelude:
You’d think that, by now, I’d know that consuming three cups of extra-large coffee in the post-supper hours would cause me to stay awake practically all night. Last Monday, I woke up at 3 A.M. with the little caffeine moleculues racing around in my bloodstream, and didn’t get back to sleep until just after six. So while awake, to preserve my sanity, I pulled out the little doodle notebook I keep by my bed and spent about two hours coming up with categories a la the ones that show up on Win Ben Stein’s Money. (For those of you that don’t watch the show, the categories usually contain some sort of bad pun or double entendre) I don’t know about you, but I thought some of them were kinda witty, and I thought I’d force them upon you:
*The Bamboo Shortage in China Caused Mass Panda-Monium
Once Thomas Equinus Gets Going, He Talks Till He’s Horse
My Swiss-Made Car’s Stuck in Neutral
I Didn’t Want to Sleep With The Priest, But I Succumbed To St. Peter Pressure
Foreign Substances That Induce Vomiting Other Than Celine Dion
My British History Teacher Thinks I Should See A Tudor
Before Opening Their Christmas Presents, The Pirate’s Children Would First Shake Their Booty
The Unbearable Whiteness of Being Michael Jackson
Even Though His Tool Didn’t Fit My Socket, The Electrician Kept Plugging Away
The Opthamologist Failed As A Comedian Because His Jokes Were Too Cornea*
Any others? Apologies if anyone committed pun-induced suicide because of this OP.