Things you've scribbled down while drunk.

Ever get plastered and write something down that you don’t remember the next day? Well… it happens to me sometimes. I wrote down something last night that I thought was rather funny, so I’m sharing:

“Sex is a candy far from sexy filling.”

Your turn :slight_smile:

Well, after getting fitfully drunk the other night:

I found your heart the other day
Buried beneath the leaves,
In the last place that I saw you with it
Between the apple trees.

And I thought of how you used to be
Content with quarters for gum-ball machines.
But now you need cash for cigarettes,
pills and drinks to take them with.

I found your heart the other day.
I left it on your step.
Please bring it in before it rains.
Please, please don’t forget.

The end goal, of course, was to get laid. It worked :stuck_out_tongue: Oh to be a melodramatic hipster!

Not drunk but stoned:

“A penguin is a panda-bear fish.”

I think that’s pretty fucking profound.

For drunkenness though, try the following note I found on my mobile phone, written at about 2.30am a couple of years ago, discovered weeks or possibly months after I’d written it:

“Zebedee Soanes”

To which I went “WTF?”

Then I found a second note, with a timestamp of about 2.40am the same night:

“He’s a BBC news announcer, you drunken twat.”

And I subsequently discovered, he is. What a strange time bomb to leave myself.

Not written down. Typed. And submitted to the SDMB.

I’ve looked at it the following day and been quite surprised how remarkably ok and not utter shite it turned out to be.

“There are seven levels.”

“Elbrick Wyrick”

If, thirty years from now, I am traveling alone in a foreign land and someone surreptitiously pulls me aside and whispers “Elbrick Wyrick”, then eyes me expectantly… well, nothing good can come of that.

My name on the marriage license.

[rim shot]

I know I’ve written some stupid shit when I’ve been drunk, but I don’t remember any right now. Probably for the better…

Joe

Scribbled on a piece of paper, found the day after, t’was something like this:

"Ok, this is gonna sound really weird, but keep with me here 'cause it’s actually really smart. I know you’re not going to believe, but trust me on this one.

You see, in Africa…"

and then a lot of unreadable scribble.

I have never been able to figure out what brilliant insight came to me on that night :frowning:

“Is the measure of your trust in others a reflection of how much you privately think you should be trusted by others?”

“The Slurping of the Spheres”

I’d gotten into a discussion about the notion of the “music of the spheres” and had come to decide that the reason we can’t hear this music isn’t really because the planets and stars aren’t attached to rotating crystal spheres. No, pollution has just build up so much gunk on the spheres that they don’t sing any more. But if you listen really closely you might still be able to hear the sound that they do still make: the slurping of the spheres.

Way back, in high school, I smoked some weed*, took out a Bic pen, and just started scribble-drawing a viscous, rottweiler dog head, with gaping jaw, sharp teeth, and dripping saliva. In a flash of randomness I wrote “Turkey Christmas!” underneath. I have no idea what that means, and don’t want to know. The drawing was pretty creepy after I sobered up. Not in a style I’ve ever done before or since. I wish I hadn’t lost it, but in a way, I’m kind of embarrassed by it.

Turkey Christmas!?

*Disclaimer: Of course, I don’t condone drug use, and haven’t done it since I’ve been married.

HOH+NaCl=…

=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

=XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

=WORLD DOMINATION!!!

I won’t be revealing any more details as I have this plan to make everyone better off then they used to be…

“When i look at a blank page i see endless possibilities for one second. Then I feel like I’m looking over an edge into a white abyss.”

That’s profound.

Last New Year’s Eve while watching a hockey game, I wrote “we should shoot alcohol darts at the opposing team and get them drunk off their asses”. Uh, great idea.

Well I once woke up to a sketch of a demented donald duck operating a meat grinder of some sort with humans being fed into it with the caption " Come on in, the water’s fine."

This board is full of my drunk ramblings.

Written on a notepad on my kitchen table the other night was “this isn’t a good idea”.

… I read that during breakfast AFTER waking up in bed with my female roommate.:smack:

Was this a couple weeks ago? Because I remember reading one of your posts, and you mentioned at the very end you were drunk. I went back and re-read it, and it was more articulate and well-punctuated than so, so many sober posts (of other people, I don’t know about yours)!

You win.

Naked in bed, or just occupying the same piece of furniture?

Did it end well?

1/2 Naked in bed, no tops but bottoms accounted for. Me and the roommate are okay with it (possibly a bit twitterpated). I cannot say the same for my other two roommates about the idea. It may be the subject of a new thread shortly…

Also to add to the scribbled while drunk portion,

after the sleeping with roommate shenanigans happened a note scribbled on our fridge:

RULES:

  1. NO FUCKING BETWEEN ROOMMATES!
  2. Take out the trash, Out sunday in Monday
  3. Sunday is Gods day, a day of Detox.
    One of my other roommates did that hammered.