Wine and Beer: BLECH!

I cannot STAND the taste of wine or beer.

That puts me at a disadvantage socially, to be sure. Also, I guess that puts me at a disadvantage from a culinary standpoint, too, as apparently truly great food is made better by truly good libations. Plus, can you see me at a 5-star restaurant with a magnificent wine list, and I order 7-UP?

What I’d like to know is, is there a gradual way to ease oneself into the world of wine and beer? Many of my college friends took a “drink really hard every weekend until you find that you actually like the stuff” approach, but that didn’t really work for me. Is there a particular brand, style, etc. that is good for beginners?

My personal favorite Beers are of the “Horny Iguana Brewing Co.” variety. Here are a few of their brands

The Original- Horny Iguana Beer
“Suck a Horny Iguana”

Big Cock Lager
“Grab Hold of a Big Cock and Suck it Dry”

Nekkid Buck Ale
“Get More Suck From a Nekkid Buck”

Ok, so I made them up in the seventh grade, but I still think they would make great T-Shirts.

Anyway, I hate all alcohol, and so far it hasn’t harmed my social standing. The key is, to stay in your room all day, and only come out at night. Then you shave every hair on your body except an outline of the word “MOMMY” in the back of your head. Now pierce your nipples and hang pictures of the pope from them. When you are around people, constantly ask them why they smell like your mother. Now, nobody will notice that you don’t like Beer or Wine.

Happy Christmas.

This is HDTV, it has better resolution than the real world - Fry

Hooo, boy! We’re gonna have fun with you if you’re at Growler’s on Saturday.

Seriously, I’d suggest Rolling Rock for a nice beer without a harsh taste or aftertaste. But certainly the fine people at Growler’s could suggest something in their 132 beers.

Nothing like a bad decision
Says who you are.
-Gin Blossoms, “Perfectly Still”

For what it’s worth, I can’t stand the taste or smell of wine or beer, either. A college student who dosn’t drink. How sad!

“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat those two impostors just the same.”

If you don’t care for the taste of beer and wine, try some hard liquor. You can mix Vodka with just about anything without getting a strong alcohol taste. Try, 7-UP, tonic or fruit juices. Maybe even a bloody mary.

On the other hand, it’s perfectly acceptable to refuse alcohol; I don’t see why you would feel to be at a social disadvantage. Somtimes, when you’re the only sober guy, it can be fun to watch the antics of the drunks.

There are a couple of downsides of not drinking though. Number one, you get stuck driving all the lushbags home at the end of the night. And it is also very well known that anyone who doesn’t drink is really an alcoholic.


“Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I’m worried about the difference between wrong and fun.”
~P.J. O’Rourke~

Just one piece of additional advice. It’s possible to go through life completely sober, but I wouldn’t recommend it.

I hate both wine and beer, too, and I’ve never felt the lack. I also hate whiskey, rum, and tequila. Don’t worry about it, walk around with a glass of cola and just tell every body you all ready have a drink, thanks. Plus, you’ll never have to worry about how much the person who’s driving has had to drink if you drive yourself.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

I hate wine and beer, too. I also hate whiskey, rum, and tequila. Don’t worry about it. Just walk around the party with a glass of cola and say you’va all ready got a drink, thanks. An added bonus is the fact that you’ll never have to worry about how much the driver has had to drink if you’re driving yourself.

Sorry about the double post - when Ilook nothing had posted so I retyped and resent it. My bad.

I can’t stand the taste of beer or wine, either. I actually tried to acquire both of these tastes for a while, but it wasn’t worth the effort (though everyone did like all the weird faces I made while drinking). And as far as mixing vodka with juice or pop- I don’t know about anyone else, but I can taste it, and is it ever nasty!

There’s a saying in Upper Peninsula Michigan…

“Some people drink too much and some people don’t drink enough”

Of course I have found this to be true in the rest of the world too.

There’s also another saying in the UP of Michigan:

“You aint drunk until you shit the bed.”

Also true of other parts of the world.

In response to the OP, if you truly want to learn to enjoy beer and wine, start with the good stuff. Try some high end white wines, like a good White Burgundy, or good Champagne. Have a glass, see if you enjoy it, and leave it at that.

Many red wine drinkers start with Beaujolais, but I think that involves liking the taste of red wine to begin with.

Other things that come to mind are Mimosas (orange juice and champagne), or Sangria. Just find something you like and drink it enough so that you get used to the taste. Then try some of the harder stuff. I can attest, a fine bottle of wine does make a great dinner taste better, and adds complexity to the whole taste experience. I can’t imagine not liking wine, and I wish you luck with your pursuit.

Rasta, what beers have you tried? Some of the major brands can be really nasty (I can’t stand Bud.)

Have you tried Zima. I tried it once, and it wasn’t too bad. Not like beer at all. More like a gin and tonic, but without any bitterness. Kind of citrus flavored.

It is too clear, and so it is hard to see.

Apparently most of us Americans do not actually like the taste of beer either. That is why watered-down, virtually tastless beers sell so well. Most American lagers are brewed with rice added, as cheap filler. Only recently are beers with actual taste coming into favor. Try a Sam Adams or a Rolling Rock. If you want to get into red wine try a merlot, a little less of the strong taste of other red wines.

Rasta, I can think of no worse reason to drink alcohol than to be social accepted. Add the fact that you don’t like the taste and it’s insanve.

If you must accquire a taste for wine and beer keep in mind the best ones have the qualities you most hate. Good beer is supposed to taste bitter and the tannins in red wine will make your head pucker inside out. I suppose the blandest things I can think of are Keystone beer - cold enough to eliminate the taste - and Beringer white zinfandel.

I agree with Padeye. As Miss Manners once replied to someone asking her how to break into high society: “Why bother?”

If you want to do it for your own enjoyment, though, you might want to go to beer or wine tastings (at wineries or micro-breweries) where there will be someone to guide you through the experience. It helps the enjoyment if you know what you are looking for.

However, these are probably not the types of wine and beer you are going to get at parties. Just drink whatever you like and be sure to call all your friends real early the next morning.

It’s okay not to drink. No one so far has said anything to me about it if I don’t. However, if you want to anyway (and occasionally I do want to try something new), my suggestions:

Hard cider and Zima have about the alcohol content of beer but taste very different; you might like them. If you’re at a brewpub, ask if they have anything which isn’t hopped or is EXTREMELY lightly hopped and try that. Failing that, try things with interesting names and hope for the best. I don’t like most beers, but I can generally tolerate Sam Adams or Anchor Steam (the colder the better in both cases).

I do like some wines, so without knowing exactly what you don’t like it’s hard to offer suggestions.

Some people don’t like dry wines. “Late Harvest” or “Eiswein” or “Botrytised” wines tend to be sweet and don’t have the same social stigma as, say, Boones Farm Strawberry Hill.

Some people (me, for one) don’t like tannins. Shelf talkers or a knowledgeable friend can help you out here; if you hear the word “oak” stay far away from it.

My suggestions: Zinfandel, Gewurtztraminer.

Also, if you can find a varietal with “Chaunac”, “Concord”, or “Catawba” in its name, give it a go; if nothing else it’ll be different and will give you an excuse most places (“Do you by any chance have Ferrigno Blanc de Chaunac? No? How unfortunate. Iced tea, then, I suppose.”).

If you’re fortunate enough to live near a vineyard you can usually taste several of their varieties either free or for a small fee and find something you like this way.

Good beers to start with are Mexican beers. They are generally much lighter and less bitter than American and European beers. Rolling Rock is an American beer that has an excellent taste. I myself drink Shiner beers, but I don’t know of their availability outside of Texas.

“I hear the mermaids singing, each to each. I do not think that they will sing to me.” -T.S. Eliot

Oops, forgot to list the best (IMHO) Mexican beers: Cerveza Sol, Corona, and Dos Equis. Enjoy.

“I hear the mermaids singing, each to each. I do not think that they will sing to me.” -T.S. Eliot

I’m going to second Torq on the hard cider. Wish I’d thought to suggest that in my first post.

It is too clear, and so it is hard to see.