Uhh, is that Coworker or superior (in the sense of being authorized to hand tasks to you)? If it’s the former, I’d say a hearty “Pound sand!” is in order.
If the latter, of course, I’d likely go with an anonymous report to whoever is concerned with minimizing the pilfering of company resources…
This presumes, of course, that after you say “Excuse me” the fucktard(s) in question actually make some effort to move out of your way. On several occasions I was trying to exit a train and after saying “Excuse me!” three times with increasing volume to the person standing dead center in the doorway finally just pushed past them. Of course, they were then loudly, and in some cases profanely, offended that I had dared to touch their sacred person.
My local Y has an indoor running track that has two lanes, encircling the gym at the second floor level.
In spite of large signs telling slow runners and walkers to stay in the inner lane and telling people to not walk side by side, it happens all the time.
Usually all it takes is a few laps running past the slowly walking chatty people and they take the hint and at least move to the side when I am coming. Some times I have to say “On your left!” or “Excuse me!” quite loudly as I approach.
On more than one occasion there have been pairs of yakking ladies on a leisurely afternoon stroll on the running track, walking two abreast, ignoring my pleas for them to move aside. As it is quite difficult to suddenly stop while running full speed, I took great pleasure in squeezing past between or around them, smearing them with my sweat-soaked body as I passed by.
And then there are the folks who go to the running track with very small toddlers. Children always weave back and forth randomly and I am afraid that I will trip over them, probably injuring us both.
My God, people, snipping out part of a multi-quote is not rocket surgery. You take out the whole part that you want to delete, including all the coding characters. I don’t know how many mis-attributions we’re having here now because of sloppy snippage - 5,000 a day? 10,000?
Fucking heartburn! I blame annoying co-worker.
I know Windows 2000 is an old OS, but it’s not that fucking obscure! Why can’t I find a backup program that works? I’m about ready to just say fuck it and ice this machine.
You may as well be using OS/2 or Amiga-DOS.
Yeah, if you DARE touch them, that’s battery, you know.
When I am Empress of the Earth, certain people will be encouraged to carry Tasers/stun guns AND USE THEM AS NEEDED to administer clue-by-fours.
Many people, perhaps even most people, will move if I can catch their eye and make it clear that I’m waiting to get past. Of the remainder, most will move when I say “Excuse me” or “I’d like to get past, please”. Some, however, have found THE perfect spot to gossip or adjust their belongings or whatever, and don’t want to move, and will get pretty pissy about being asked to move.
Technically yes and technically they could sue you, but I think they would have to show actual damages (I suppose in the form of an injury of some sort) in order to win a judgment. I could be wrong about this but I’m pretty sure I’m not. In fact in the rare instances of heard of this happening, the most the plaintiff has gotten is a token award of $1 (think Trading Places). On the other hand, since it would be an intentional tort, any award of actual (compensatory) damages would open you up to an award of punitive damages as well.
I’ve been in that situation a couple of times and said fuck it after the second ‘excuse me’. Any lip I get is greeted with the ritualistic ‘flipping of the bird’. And so it begins . . .
More on emails and other links:
If you call me about a job, and I’m not interested because I’m working, but I agree to pass your contact info to colleagues that may be interested (assuming I run into one, all my friends are currently either working or on medical leave), that means email, maybe phone. It does not mean twitter, linkedin, neurona, facebook…
If your email says “please write back for further details if you think you may be interested” and people do not write back, it doesn’t mean they didn’t get your email. It means they don’t think they may be interested. If they hadn’t gotten your first email, sending another email to the same address asking “did you get my previous email” wouldn’t be of any help; if they did, all it does is irritate the hell out of me. Yes, I did, you dumbfuck, but as your records say, I’m already employed.
Oh, and to all those companies who know I’m already employed and where: stop sending me hooks for a job which is for this same final client and in a position subordinate to mine. Seriously, fuck the hell off!
Hey! Gimmick Infringement! 
I look forward to the day when people freely taser each other alleging that they’re only handing out “clues”.
A good tasering every time you go out in public would teach you that there are other people in the world pretty damned quickly, though. 
I know, get out the violins and all, but that sucks to do on an iPhone and I suspect is at least part of the cause. I find myself posting less or not quoting when I’m on the iPhone rather than my laptop. Is there a setting to turn off multi-quoting?
Firefox, at least, seems to have a really annoying habit of wanting to highlight the closing square bracket in [quote=… when you really want to start highlighting at the first word in the quote to delete it.
You know, when I was 8.5 months pregnant, and HAD to go to Walmart for a few final baby things that I couldn’t afford to buy elsewhere (carseat, etc.,) I tried my utmost to “borrow” my husband’s handy-dandy Taser for the shopping trip. But would my husband let me use it? Noooo, of course not, he just thought that I was being all silly and hormonal*! Fortunately for my fellow shoppers, the feed and seed store en route from my house to Walmart was closed, because I had determined that a cattle prod was my next-best bet!
Sigh, I had so looked forward to maneuvering through the aisles, zapping people I deemed too stupid to shop and/or work at Walmart. Someday, though…
*To be fair, though, Mr. Matata learned his lesson that day. By the time the third little old lady had blocked me in an aisle that had been turned into an obstacle course of pallets, and the second kid had barreled into me with a shopping cart, and the fourth employee acted like I was speaking Swahili when I asked where I might find the diaper rash ointment? He was ready to drive to the office to get us His and Hers Tasers.
One of the things I don’t miss about living in Chicago is having to deal with so many idiots who could use a good tasering.
I was at a convention recently and one of the dealers was selling clue-by-fours; real wooden two-by-fours about three feet long with one end carved into a baseball-bat type handle. I was sorely tempted to pick one up, but decided they were a bit awkward to try to swing in a crowded space.
If your clue-by-four is too awkward to swing in in a crowded space, hold it like a walking stick. With an up-and-down motion, gently tap the feet of the clueless.
Dear Microsoft,
I know that we should “never say never,” but this is a special case…
I can say with confidence that I NEVER want to see the “Research” tab appear again while I am using an Office application.
This is what happens: I often switch quickly between some other application and Outlook, Word, or Excel, copying and pasting stuff. If I happen to click somewhere while in the middle of my “alt-tab” operation, the “alt-click” is immediately interpreted by Microsoft Office as “Please bring my machine to a frozen crawl for five minutes while you load up the totally useless Research tab on the right side of the screen and execute fifty Internet queries”
The “alt-click” combo is not configurable.
Rumor has it that the Research tab can be removed using Office Setup. I don’t have this choice available since my employer deploys Office in a way that I cannot configure its options.
[quote=“Rysto, post:494, topic:554833”]
Firefox, at least, seems to have a really annoying habit of wanting to highlight the closing square bracket in
[quote=… when you really want to start highlighting at the first word in the quote to delete it.[/QUOTE]
IE does it, too. Annoying as all shit.
Also, the quotes are messed up on that, and I can’t figure out how to fix. So now I can’t even properly quote how badly the quotes work. :dubious:
Anyway …
So I’m a broke, cheap, in-debt bastard who can’t justify paying someone elso to rip out my hairs for me anymore, so I’ve been buying home waxing stuff - microwaveable wax, the strip thingies - and getting to where I’m doing an OK job of it. Quick shot of whiskey, deep breath, move quickly. So far, so good.
I bought a different kind of wax.
Fuck me.
Turns out, this particular wax does NOT wash off with soap. Soap doesn’t TOUCH the stuff. I have to use goddamn mineral spirits to get the residue off my skin, and now I have learned a handy-dandy fact: mineral spirits make your bathtub incredibly slippery. Like there’s lube all over it or something. About the only redeeming quality this insane shit has is that it seems to work better than the easier-to-clean-up varieties: grabs hairs better, releases off skin easier. Fine. So last night the Other Shoe was working late and I decided it was Home Salon Day.
Fuck me again.
The ultra-sticky stuff has sealed the lid to the container. Completely. I asked Mr. Horseshoe to open it once he got home - he can open anything! 
even pickle jars! - and he couldn’t get it to crack or budge in the least. The lid and container are both plastic, so I don’t know if the old run-hot-water-over-the-lid trick will work at all.
So now I’ve spent my money on something that pisses me off but at least works, and now I can’t even access it. For some stupid reason, this has gotten under my skin out of all proportion … but I’m not gonna buy any more until this stuff is used up, you got that? *shakes fist at universe *
Do it in the bathtub.
Hey, lemonade out of lemons, right?