Dear work ladies:
Is it really that hard to put your shit-covered toilet paper in the toilet? I entered my favorite stall this morning, and noticed your discarded toilet tissue next to the toilet. I expect that from a state-maintained rest stop, not an office!
My boss can remember every single minor error I have ever made and will bring it up when he wants to. Or he will obsess on an error and get all anxious that I’ll make the error again without any basis in reality.
But, remember to tell me that the training meeting has been moved? After I’ve sent out all the confirmations and driving directions to the hotel that I was given? Hell, even remembering to fucking CALL ME today, the day of the meeting, to let me know? Fuck no. Hint, someone told the hotel to tell the trainees that the meeting had been moved to the station. THEN you moved it again to yet another location and you STILL didn’t tell me (or the hotel!). So, when our new employees start calling me from the hotel wondering where the fuck the meeting is and I have to say, “Whuh? My information says it’s where I told you it would be,” that’s real professional.
But, god help me if a name tag is mis-spelled because someone gave ME bad information. Lawd, he’ll make sure to point that out to me when he gets back. Because it makes us look bad if we mis-spell a name. But blow an important detail like the meeting location? Hey, shit happens. One standard for him, one standard for me.
Dude, I don’t care how distracted you were by the Blackberry you had in your hand, I have great suspicion that you would mistake a door with a number buttons entry pad, which you tried poking at a few times while yanking the handle, for a bathroom door.
You did seem very confused and halting when I unexpectedly opened the door and asked how I could help you, true, but that could have been genuine I-have-no-brain-when-using-my-BBerry confusion, or oh-fuck-what-excuse-do-I-use panic. And since the bathroom was indeed immediately behind you, both are still valid possibilities.
I wish I’d had the forethought to take a picture of you, because this area does get a lot of wallet thieves, taking advantage of this being a relatively busy building with lots of lost clinic patients, most of whom never yank on that door handle or try the keypad. After all, past experience seems to indicate that some wallet thieves have returned repeatedly once they get a good spot to hit, and I’d love to have something to confirm off of should I think I recognize some “lost” guy again.
I tell you what, it’s gonna be smooth sailing if we can just stay married until after the kids move out.
They just called off the search for a FOAF’s boyfriend who went missing while on a solo hike. I don’t care how “experienced” of a hiker you are: hiking on a trail you’ve never seen before, in Colorado, in the mountains, in October, by yourself, is fucking retarded. Congratulations, dipshit; now the woman you loved gets to spend the rest of her life probably never even knowing what happened to you. GG.
Step 1: “Excuse me.”
Step 2: “Excuse me!”
Step 3: Firmly push your way through, not shoving anyone you don’t have to but not contorting yourself to get through the spaces, either, while repeating, “Excuse me; pardon me.”
More annoying to me than the people who fuck up quotes are the ones who don’t bother to snip anything. They’ll quote a thousand-word post to reply to the last fucking line. The point of the quote is to let other people know what you’re responding to; if they can understand your response without a sentence, fucking delete it!
First in line: anyone who uses the word “clue-by-four.” 
Multiquoting is optional and toggled by using the multiquote button on each post. Nested quoting, which is what I believe you meant, is controlled at the board level. It cannot currently be enabled or disabled by individual users for their own replies.
I hear checking to make sure you didn’t delete any extra characters is hard. If only we had a “Preview Post” option, or an “Edit” option that would let us fix such mistakes for up to five minutes after actually making a post.
Oh, and purplehorseshoe? *Your *quote was broken because of the bit in brackets that I changed.
Exactly what I generally do. Step one is in a normal speaking volume, adjusted for any ambient noise or if the person blocking my path is wearing earphones. Step two is louder, often just short of a scream if I can hear their music even though they’re wearing headphones. If trying to exit a train, I will usually add “Out, please!” in case the open door next to the blockee isn’t enough of a clue why I’m saying “Excuse me!”
A professor of the university where I studied abroad in college once published a book of anecdotes of foreigners’ mistakes in Japanese, which I was lucky enough to see in the campus bookstore and pick up.
A young man was on a crowded bus. When it arrived at his stop, he found that he could not easily get down the aisle to the door. So, as he had seen some other passengers do, he gestured in front of him with his arm and said, “Please let me off.” Alarmed, people quickly moved away. He realized later that what he had said was not:
降ろしてください。
Oroshite kudasai.
Please let me off.
But rather:
殺してください。
Koroshite kudasai.
Please kill me.
Boy, one solitary “k” really changed that one, huh? Not a language with a wide margin of error, I see.
I don’t see the difference.
And this post illustrates why I do not go to Wal-Mart unless I absolutely must. The only thing I get there consistently is angry.
- (polite, pleasant look) “Excuse me”
- (bass, dark look) “Excuse me”
- (bass, louder, angry look) “MOVE… NOW.”
- Fine, fuck you, not my problem if you get hurt, but I’m coming through.
Unpossible.
Sorry, but under the laws of the state when I am Emperor of the World, the only place the stupid are ALLOWED to shop is Walmart.
This just happened here, too - an experienced hiker went out to the mountains by himself and ended up dead. I don’t know if there was a girlfriend involved, but I would have thought that “experienced” meant that you knew that you don’t hike alone.
That’s kind of what I was going to say - my browser always wants to highlight the wrong things, too - fortunately I’M the one in control here. 
All y’all who think you have the Emperor of the World in your town, I can assure you that he is currently in Calgary. Driving home today in rush hour traffic, I got stopped at a red light behind a guy who was going straight through in a right-turn only lane. I gave a courtesy beep since he wasn’t paying any attention to his driving because he was on the phone, but nope, he meant to go straight through on the light, and to hell with the row of right turners behind him who could have gone except for His Royal Majesty blocking the lane illegally. I guess he didn’t want to wait behind that two blocks long line of people in the straight-through lane - that would have inconvenienced him. :rolleyes:
Ow ow fucking ow. I just sustained my first real cooking injury. Inflicted by the not-sharp part of the knife - instead I somehow dug a chunk of my finger out with the little corner where the blade meets the vertical bit just past the handle. And I have no idea how, but it fucking hurt. And also bled more than I’d have expected, enough that I had to dump my now-contaminated celery in the garbage.
This morning;
Woman in left lane, as we’re driving past the right lane exit onto the freeway.
Jerks from left lane, through the right lane, into the exit lane, nearly hitting someone there.
Car seesaws back and forth for a couple of seconds, she’s clearly uncertain of where she needs to be.
Rockets back over into the left lane directly in front of me.
50 yards later, rockets back across the right lane, into the next right turn lane which is to get on the freeway going the other direction.
Just after I pass her, she rockets back over into the left lane, forward to where the island ends, makes a U-turn directly in front of oncoming traffic, back over the bridge.
Runs the red light making a left hand turn to get onto the freeway in the original direction.
Damn. Where’s the cop when you need one?
Ouch. Sorry for what happened to you, but you’d think a ninja would have a little better control over the sharp things in her hands.
Related to this…
I discovered (well, okay, I was told about) a single line command in Linux that will do exactly what I need. Awesome. I can boot from an Ubuntu LiveCD and back up the drive. I was planning to install Linux anyway, which was the whole point of imaging Windows in the first place so I could experiment with a safety net.
I had to try four different distros before I found one that would not only properly load the LiveCD, but remain stable while I was working. I mean, it’s an old 2003 laptop, sure, but three of those distros were designed with old computers in mind.
I love Ubuntu and all the little Buntus, but trying to get it to run on anything but cutting edge hardware makes me want to headbutt something.
I have been told that I would love Alpha Centauri. I tracked down a copy at a reasonable price and bought it for myself (AC and Alien Crossfire bundle). However, the damn thing won’t install properly. I’ve been IMing tech support, who wants me to go to this site to see if my computer is compatible with the game. The site doesn’t even have AC listed. Maybe it IS my computer, I don’t know…all I do know is that every time I get a Firaxis game, I have to fiddle with this and tweak that and download a patch before the damn thing will install properly. I DO love Civ III and IV, but I don’t love the hoops I have to jump through before I can get the games to install and run. I also don’t like the way that expansions come out, and then a Complete or Gold version, which includes the original game with improvements with all the expansions for a lower price than the first version of the game originally cost.
Fuck but i hate hearing some idiot yammer away on her cellphone in the bathroom!
Everybody poops but I for one don’t want to share. I don’t want to hear flushing from the other end of the line, even when i talk to someone i actually LIKE. Too much information!!!