So? It worked, didn’t it?
Have you tried loud moaning and repetitive toilet flushing? Might not embarrass Clueless Cellphone Addict, but it’ll sure liven up the call recipient’s day.
My micro-rant of the day is about AdKeeper, the ballyhooed new service that will revolutionize Internet advertising by allowing users to bookmark ads for later viewing. Yes, I’ve been waiting anxiously for a way to store useless, annoying ads so that I can be annoyed by them over and over again at my leisure.
Why’d you throw it out? You were just getting a head start on the morning’s bloody mary.
Jesus H. Christ. Is this really a service that people are looking for?
I hadn’t heard of it, so i went to see what it was all about. According to this article, it’s:
As far as i can tell, the only “social” thing about internet advertising is the social pleasure people get from blocking ads, and from complaining to one another about what a bunch of assholes internet ad providers are.
See also: the story about the foreign exchange student who asked her host father to please wake her at 6 a.m. Only instead of the verb 起こす (okosu), “wake,” she used 姦す (okasu), “rape.” :smack:
Indeed.
Psh, blood washes off. Look at it this way: bonus iron!
When I see someone driving erratically like that, I’ll actually pull out my cell and call 911. I give them as much info as I can–the car’s make/model/license plate if I got it, what street they were on, and which way they were traveling on it. This dispatcher always sends someone to check it out (or at least say that they will).
Well, I did two weeks ago when some guy ran a red light, peeling around a corner, crossed the center line and almost hit a couple of oncoming cars, flew down the 40 zone at over 60 and ran another red light to get on the freeway. I called 911, got transfered to the highway patrol (since he got on the interstate) and was made to feel like I was wasting their time and they were more concerned with checking ME out for bothering them with it. :rolleyes:
Fuck them, then. I’d keep calling anyway, personally.
What is with all the stick up their ass Dopers who have to come into threads and berate the rest of us for seeing an eensy bit of humor in an otherwise awful situation? We can’t always walk around crying and bewailing all the crap in life so where is the harm in finding a little humor in a situation?
No, we don’t think it’s funny that a kid was robbed and punched in the head, but it is a bit funny that the act was committed by guys in gorilla and chicken suits. No, we don’t think it’s funny that a mosque was vandalized, but yes, it is a bit humorous that bacon was used. Bacon isn’t normally thought of as a hate crime except against the magically delicious pig.
So to those who feel it necessary to berate those who try to find a little humor in life, please get off your high horse, maybe then the stick in your ass won’t feel so uncomfortable.
My co-workers very nicely threw me a little shower after I got married last week. (Thanks, guys!) They know we don’t need stuff, so they put together a money tree, threw in a couple gift cards, etc. All very hugely appreciated. 
One of my co-workers won’t stop asking how much the $ came to. She wanted me to count it that day! I demurred, saying something cheesy-romantic like “We’ll count it together tonight!”
I thought it was … crude? tacky? gauche? … of her to ask. (Was it?)
I believe the phrase you were looking for was: None of your damn business.
Yes.
Of course, it’s also crude/tacky/gauche to hold a shower with a money tree.
Why did I leave CLE for the entire year to the last two weeks of the year? Why???
I knew I had to do it. So here I am, sat watching “Current Trends and Issues in Antitrust Litigation” clicking a button every 6 minutes.
I feel like I am in some horrible low-budget re-enactment of Lost.
Har-harrrrrrrr. That post made a lot more sense, by the way, when I figured out that you weren’t talking about the airport.
I have strep throat. Shit.
And now my butt hurts from the penicillin shot.
Thanks for the sympathy. You were a lot nicer to me when you thought I was a chick. 
The university I go to has several well known bars near campus that are each unique and awesome in their own way. Having only recently turned 21 and finally having the time, I thought I would visit some of them. Most were just as I hoped. One was not.
Now I expected them to be crowded and I really don’t do well in crowds but this was just absurd. I got to one bar that everyone says is awesome and go upstairs on a tip that it was less crowded. I get up there and decide that I should get a drink and try to go to the bar. No dice. In front of the bar is large group of men all drinking beer and seemingly having fun. I ask if I could sneak through and order a drink but the two that listen tell me no. When I ask why, they say that they’ve been there a while and they know the bartender so they aren’t going to move. My friend offers them some cash if they’ll order a drink for me. Again no.
Seriously? The bartender is your friend right? What kind of friend cheats you out of business and tips? I bet your bartender friend just loves you.
Well the crowd got to be a bit too much for me so we left and went back to the place that had free hot dogs.
Dear Customer:
Amazing how screaming in my ear gets me to hang up on you, ain’t it?
Oh, I know other CSR’s at other companies say they’re not allowed to hang up on people. Mine specifically says we can when you’re abusive. I told you I would if you didn’t stop, you only got louder and more abusive, so I hung up.
If you called back after that, no one bothered to log it. I would imagine that on your next call when you reach a Supervisor like me, you’ll claim we hung up on you five times before you got to him/her. That seems to be the magic number for when people are pulling shit out of their asses. But that won’t matter in the slightest. When people say that, what we really hear them say is “I’m an asshole and I’m about to start swearing at you”. I told you NO, just like the two people before me. We’re not giving you money for something clearly your fault. So fuck off already. Screaming and throwing a tantrum in a public places only works because they’re essentially paying you to GO AWAY. You don’t have the same audience watching when you’re on the phone, which is why it doesn’t work the same way.
To whom it may concern: You do not need to call it both “corn” and “maize” in the same sentence when you first mention it. Everybody already knows both names. 99% of the time you can just call it “corn” and I promise you nobody will freak out. If you’re ever in a situation where “corn” is ambiguous, then go ahead and use “maize” exclusively for that conversation.
That’s word-for-word the response that popped into my head. I probably wouldn’t say that to someone’s face, but damn - what the hell is the matter with some people?
Alternatively, your answer could be, “Why do you want to know?”
21ºC yesterday, and snowing heavily today, since we have to make a highway trip. Mother Nature, what did I ever do to you? Well, I suppose I’ve called you a bitch more than once…
Why don’t I have any bed bugs. Everybody else has them. I feel left out. I think it’s a conspiracy.