If you are comfortable doing so, let us know what actions you are taking to stay sober on a daily basis.
If not, that’s understandable, given the public nature of this place. But please make sure that you are taking action. Insight without action is futile.
:: post snipped ::
When I went to rehab in the first week there were a couple days when I slept for about 15 or 16 hours a day. Passing out != sleep as you know. Same thing when I got in the halfway house (the successful attempt, at least so far). After the first week or two I hit insomnia.
If you go through this like I did, expect some sleep issues. It takes a long time for your body to rid itself of the alcohol and get back to normal. One of the things that I always suggest to someone who is newly sober is to find something to do if you can’t sleep. Plan on it happening and come up with something you can do to get through it ahead of time or talk to a doc to see if they have anything to recommend. My next to last relapse was basically caused by sleep issues (well, that and the fact I was still fucking crazy). I couldn’t sleep at all after a couple weeks and had no way to get through the long sleepless nights. Since I couldn’t sleep I felt like hell and used that as an excuse to drink.
It is kind of amazing how many excuses to drink I invented back when I was still drinking. All of them were bullshit but I believed them enough to justify my drinking to myself.
There is a quote from Richard Feynman that I think describes this very well:
That quote comes from a totally different context, Feynman was talking about science, but it relates very well to my experience with alcoholism. I fooled myself into believing that I could drink successfully countless times. It was very odd because I knew I was fooling myself but I believed it anyway.
Slee
Or, as others have mentioned, you can try one of the various alternatives to AA such as Rational Recovery, SMART, LifeRing, or others. (I’m not sure, but I believe that some of those groups may make use of CBT to some extent).
I am not a fan of 12-step programs but this is certainly not the thread to engage in debate about that. The most important thing in abstaining from alcohol is getting regular support from other people experiencing the same problem, IMO. If you can benefit from one of the alternatives to AA I would encourage you to try it. But in some areas these groups have very little presence, or none at all.
AA, OTOH, is everywhere. So no matter which flavor of support group you prefer, if AA is the only support available in your area, then definitely make use of it. Because support is the number one thing.
Good luck!
Hang in there, FGIE!
Not sure if my opinion counts, but when I made the choice to quit drinking (the last time), several things did help: A support group (friends), many AA meetings, and hobbies/activities to substitute for time spent drinking.
One time, about 6 months sober, I was unstoppable. But after a bad day at work, I was pretty grumpy. As I left the building, I joked to another person “Boy, that was so bad, I need a drink” and laughed it off. Two hours later, I was white-knuckling it driving down the road. In my head, I knew I was either going to drive to a bar or have to drive to a meeting. I had planted that insidious little seed myself. I went to a meeting and talked it out. Made it through the day without a drink.
I know it’s easier said than done, but before you take that first drink, please think about yourself first and take about 5 seconds to THINK about what you’re going to do BEFORE you do it. I’m not saying this will stop you from doing it, but at least give sobriety the last at-bat before you make the choice. Contemplate how hard you’ve worked to get to where you are (even if it only one week, one day, whatever) and think about what you will have to re-do if you do relapse.
Here’s wishing you all the best. You seem to be a stronger man than I for the effort alone, as well as your success.
I’m feeling tired right now, in spite of the green tea I’ve been drinking (along with lots of water). I have to work in the morning early, so I’ll need sleep soon. I’m grateful that it appears that once again I will blissfully have it naturally.
Thanks for the stories and well wishes. This has been more informative and more relative to my life than I have gratitude to give.
OK, I’ll stop gushing. Off to bed it is, then, maybe finish my copy of John The Baptizer.
One of the most helpful things I ever read (on the forum at unhooked.com) was this advice: as soon as the drunk part of your brain tosses out the idea of having a drink, crush that thought immediately. Ignore it and start doing or thinking about something else. You cannot entertain that thought for even a second because next thing you know, you’ll have rationalized yourself all the way to the liquor store. This is one reason why support and tools are so helpful - because they help you to get out of this kind of debate with yourself.
Another day sober. I’m intaking too much caffeine, though. I have a hard time waking up in the mornings for work, and I seem to require a buttload of coffee just to get started for the day. I need to get to something else.
It sucks that you are having sleep issues but please realize that it part of the process. I ended up relapsing on one of my failed attempts at sobriety due to sleep problems. (Well, I opted to relapse but used sleep issues as an excuse). On another attempt I got some meds for sleep which didn’t work too well. So what did I do? Being an alkie I took a bunch of the pills and basically od’ed on the things. Nothing too bad happened except I was out of it for a couple days.
The point being is that this is standard. It sucks, but it is standard. Don’t let it get you down too much. If you go in knowing that it is going to take a while for these kinds of issues to work themselves out and expect it, you are going to have a better chance at staying sober.
You and I spent years getting our bodies accustomed to having alcohol in our systems. When you remove the alcohol it takes your body some time to get used to *not *having the alcohol.
On the bright side, this too will pass. It takes a bit of time but when it does pass I promise you will feel better than you have in years.
Slee
First, congrats on recognizing there was a problem and doing something about it. Many, many addicts don’t get that far.
Second, on a practical note, as others have said, your body is just going through a change you have to ride out. Remind yourself that not only your brain chemistry but your entire system has (a) been abused for 20 years and (b) is learning how to function without the abuse. The situation is temporary. You’re casting about for ways to cope, that’s OK – it’s a learning process for you and your body. The important thing to remember is that if one method doesn’t work after a fair shot, try something else. There’s always something else to try, but give everything you try a fair shot. Set up your body and brain for success: Eat well – good nutritious food on a regular schedule. Try not to sub junk food for the booze, but if that’s the majik key to get you through the day, then that’s what gets you through the day. Obviously caffeine is causing problems, or exacerbating existing problems. It is a drug, after all. Green tea has it unless it is decaf. You say you don’t like diet soft drinks, but you might try caffeine free Diet Dr. Pepper and Sprite Zero. Both taste very close to the real thing. Or, decaf anything else you like – coffee, tea, hot or cold.
I’m not an alcoholic or a smoker or a drug abuser, but I AM a compulsive overeater and my brain is wired like any other addict and I share many traits and quirks and thought processes with other addicts. My best friend is a recovering (for the second time) alcoholic. Not surprisingly, some of the survival strategies are the same. Yes, understanding WHY is important in the long run, and going down those roads of self-discovery can help you. Today, right this minute, though, what’s important is NOT drinking. That’s all that matters. NOT drinking. And, when a relapse occurs, the important thing is STOPPING and then NOT DRINKING. One day, one hour, one minute at a time. What are you doing right now, right this second? NOT DRINKING. For a long time, that will feel like that’s all you are capable of doing. That’s OK. What’s important is that you are NOT DRINKING. What strategies will you employ to make sure that happens? Only you can discover them, but they will be similar to the strategies that many other addicts use. That’s why most people are encouraging you to find some group support. It may take time for you to find the group that works best for you, whether it’s a particular AA group or something other than AA. But being in contact with people who are also addicts, and getting that support from someone who has been there, is so important for so many in recovery. Not everyone, no, but many.
You are rebuilding your life. Your body is rebuilding, your brain is rebuilding, you are discovering what life is like without the friend/veil/entertainment of alcohol. You’ve been stripped down and are building back up. That takes time. There will be some paths you follow that will be abandoned, there will be false starts. Just remember it’s a process. You’ll never be finished, but if you stay mindful of the process, then things will get better. As Lyle Lovett sang, “What would you be if you didn’t even try? You have to try.” So just keep trying. It’s all you can do.
There is nothing in your life that is so bad, that alcohol can not make it worse.
I once read an article about a guy who accidentally drank a bottle full of jellyfish tentacles. I believe that nothing could make that experience worse.
Daniel
being completely unhelpful
:eek::eek::eek:
I really don’t have anything to add, other than good luck. (I hope you can accept that from a Steelers fan!)
The spam that bumped the thread is deleted, but since it brought me here anyway, might as well say: Hope things are going well!
As for the not drinking: things are well, thank you!
Have other more serious matters on my mind right now though. Financial-related.
Thank you for this.
You are welcome. Glad things are going well (in that direction, anyway).
Yeah, in that direction they are, but in other ways…let us just say that due to some ah, indiscretions on the part of my wife and alleged person “in charge of the finances” that we’ve become (unbeknowst to myself until last night) homeowner challenged.
If there was ever a reason/justification to go off the deep end this is it, but the situation is so dire that I dare not, and plus…I just generally don’t feel like drinking anyway. Which is good!
There is nothing in your life that is so bad ,that drinking can not make it worse.
I think this bears repeating!
And I agree. Which is why I am not. Drinking, that is. Not alcohol anyway. Now I’m addicted to energy drinks. So, instead of liver disease killing me in 20 years, I’ll have a heart attack in ten. Go me!