In those words?
Interesting tidbit: in medieval churches, it was not uncommon for people in back to yell something to the effect of “down in front” when the priest raised the host. They really wanted to see Christ, dammit!
There’s a church near my house that puts up these stupid sayings all the time, and they annoy me every time I see them. They did the “Seven days without prayer makes one weak” one, as well as “God answers ‘knee-mail’.” sigh
I remember when I was a kid there used to be some movement that had as their slogan “I Found It!” (I don’t remember what ‘it’ was, if I ever knew). Soon after, people started wearing buttons that said “I Lost It!” One time I saw somebody wearing one with, “I Had It Surgically Removed!” That one always made me laugh.
While we’re at it, I’m also annoyed by those stupid “Calvin kneeling before a cross” stickers. I’m sorry, Calvin didn’t do that any more than he peed on Ford logos. Leave him alone and make your own stupid character if you must do this!
You missed my point entirely. None of them make sense. I made them all up on the spot as a nonsensical parody of those bumper stickers.
Amen. Amen! Amen! AMEN!! AMEN!!!
Sacrilege against the Only Begotten Son of Bill Watterson is high sacrilege indeed!
We used to always leave right after communion. It was to avoid parking lot traffic. I think Jesus was cool with that.
Not to mention the fact that they’re all unlicensed…so you’re proclaiming and advertising your faith by stealing someone else’s intellectual property. Isn’t “Thou shalt not steal” one of the Big Ten???
Poe’s law strikes again, I guess. Most of them sounded plausible. Kudos for the whoosh!
Moved from The BBQ Pit to Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share.
Gfactor
Pit Moderator
Jesus saves … passes to Moses, he shoots, he scores!
(Hey, what you expect from a Canadian?)
(bolding mine)
Since when did the Veggie Tales come into this?
(My kids often rent Veggie Tales videos from the church library (my son adores Larry Boy, thinks he’s the greatest superhero ever) - to be honest, they can be quite funny and witty.
“So why do I have a watermelon on my feet?”
(Or is that another part of the movie? I haven’t watched it, I just like quoting it).
Yep, in those words.
I think that may have been a large part of the motivation…also, we would meet friends at a restaurant for dinner, and we always promised to meet them at a certain time.
Even as I kid I hated that bumper sticker. Why would you advertise your Christianity with something that sounds like a threat? “Watch out for my car on the freeway, if I’m suddenly taken away, it might kill you.”
Bah.
Much better (and related to the second sticker) was one along the lines of, “In event of Rapture, you can have my car.” but I only saw that once! I’m sad it’s not caught on.
(Unrelated, today I saw a bumper sticker that said “Don’t blame me, I voted for Sarah”. Yikes.)
The way I’ve always heard it: “Jesus saves; Moses invests.”
And here’s a truly vomit-producing exchange from CNN:
Larry King: “Every day is a gift.”
Kathy Lee Gifford: “That’s why it’s called the present.”
My favorite response, seen as graffiti after 9/11:
“DEAR GOD, SAVE US FROM THE PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN YOU.”
“Sorrow is the key that releases our tears from eye jail.”
Apropos of nothing, here’s the Google Ad for this page:
Vote Bush 2008
Write-in God’s candidate for 2008. Term limits: man’s law, not God’s!
Seriously. The link is 404, but that’s a direct copypasto.
That version loses the pun, though.
I was always taught it was a warning. As in, make sure there’s actually somebody driving this car. I don’t want it to crash into you or cause any problems.
My favorite was always “God answers prayer. But most of the time He says no.”
Once I was in a bad storm and was trying to hold on to a very poorly constructed door that was in danger of being pulled off by 75 mph winds. It was a glass door so I had my face pressed to a wall as I clung to it. At one point I looked around and saw a torrent of water rushing down the street. I completely lost it at that moment and started screaming “Jesus! Jesus!” Then I regained my composure a bit and added “Hey, if you’re sending a tornado, send it to Santa Fe.” ( I live in Albuqerque and the cities have a bit of a rivalry.)
A year later there was a small tornado near Santa Fe . So God does answer prayer, it just takes a while.
(Yeah, I know, I’ll give myself the wrist slapping now.)
I just saw this one today on my Facebook: ** Are you on God’s foreclosure list? Are u a variable or fixed Christian? Variable means you adjust per the situation. Fixed being that which is secure.**
I only have one evangelist on my list, and she’s a decent, sweet person so it doesn’t bother me much. I can’t really complain anyway because lately I’ve been posting a lot of information about Buddhism. I’ve gotten lots of positive comments, most surprisingly from the lady who posted the comment in my first paragraph.
Ever since I installed AdBlockPlus, I don’t get these ads. Mind letting us know what the URL is so that I can hit the Archived version?
Luckily, it’s back.
www.writeinbush.com