One day, on the metro:
Woman on the metro [to matt_mcl and his bf at the time]: I couldn’t help but overhear you. I wonder if you’re aware that freedom from homosexuality is available through the power of Jesus Christ.
matt_mcl: I wonder if you’re aware that freedom from Jesus Christ is available through the power of homosexuality.
She almost shit her pants. It was a good day.
Here’s the problem with your little rant, the JWs don’t believe in a Hell of any kind. They believe that either you get to live again in the new Kingdom (kind of like a Disney version of Earth), serve some sort of admistrative function in Heaven (a limited number, 10k people IIRC) or your soul just ceases to exist. No Hell at all. It’s closer to the Orthodox Jewish version of the afterlife than the standard Christian one. Also, the JWs are not supposed to be confrontational at all. They’re not interested in wasting the time of someone not receptive to their message. It’s more likely that he was a Morman. Did he have a white shirt and a big black name tag?
I’m not trying to defend the JWs. I know it’s annoying to have anyone knock on your door and give you a lecture on how to live your life though I do have a certain amount of respect for JWs overall.
By the way, I have a good friend who grew up in a JW family. He stopped practicing their religion when he was 22 or so which was over 15 years ago. He told me that once every couple of months he would get someone answering the door naked, in lingerie or in drag in order to shock him. Unless they’re new, they’ve seen it before.
Haj
I had some JW show up, waking me up at 8 AM, three days in a row. The first day I told them I was an atheist. Second day I told them that I would talk to them once I got to hell. The third day I told them that since I was going to hell anyway I might as well go to work on them with my trusty baseball bat (which I had in my hand), the sooner the better. They didn’t bug me after that.
Was it a smart thing to say, no? but it did work.
Slee
The thing is that these sort of people usually have a persecution complex, which means that treating them badly just validates their beliefs.
all time sad…
I generally do not answer the door unless I know who it is (or it is wearing a uniform) - glass-panel doors are quite useful.
Anyway, I see 2 women one bright morning, and feeling nice, I answer the door.
They want to talk to me about Jesus. (Unless I want to mess with their minds, it takes approx 10 secs to dismiss them).
the sad part:
both of these women are of Chinese heritage.
Amazing.
They surrendered the perfectly beautiful religions of their ancestors (and, OK, probably some not-so-beautiful ones) for Christianity, and think all others should too.
come to think of it, I used to answer the door almost every time, before this incident…
One of my favorite Simpsons quotes is Marge describing her need to get out of the house.
“Yesterday some Jehovah’s Witnesses came to the door and I wouldn’t let them leave. They finally sneaked away when I get to get more lemonade.”
Is Buddism a religion? I thought it was more a philosophy. So are Taoism and Confusianism.
This one’s in my brain’s Rolodex, ready to be used someday. Sorry if I can’t quote you, but I’ll probably be running for my damned life, knowing this neighborhood. 
Gladly, they don’t come out to me (I live a bit out of town on a dirt road), but I can imagine how it would go:
Funda-Knocker: Blah blah.
Derleth: Does Jesus love you?
FK: Yes. And he…
D: Has he ever had sex with you?
FK: No…
D: How do you know he loves you if he doesn’t fuck you crosseyed?
FK: [Convinced I’m Satan Incarnate, backs away slowly.]
(I need sleep. :D)
"Come to Jesus through intimidation and fear!"
I wonder how many converts he got?
I dunno, Watchtower is good for a laugh. It’s not as funny as Jack Chick, but one time they did have an anti-D&D tirade. If my local JWs were as obnoxious as some of yours, though, I’d give them an earful.
I don’t get this.
So, I’m Japanese, so I’m supposed to be a Buddhist or into Shinto?
WTF? :rolleyes:
Here at UT, you can get accosted by them on campus. Not quite as bad as them showing up at your doorstep, but at least there you have the option of closing the door and walking off. or them “I’m sorry, I have to get to class” doesn’t seem to phase them at all. Suddenly, you’ve got a pretty new pet that just won’t leave you alone, especially if you’re one of these non-confrontational kinds. Then they give you a packet explaining salvation to you (Just say “I believe in Jesus Christ,” and that’s it? Somehow, I don’t feel any better) and a little Bible…with all the disagreeable bits cut out.
One of my friends did do the whole “Answer the door in her birthday suit” bit, and it worked pretty effectively.
It’s amazing how wrapped up people get in the whole “evangelical” aspect of their faith. Without it, what would JWs do? I mean, outside of pestering the shit out of people in the name of conversion, what do they do? Aside from invite themselves over for dinner? Fucking freeloaders.
Believe it or not, here in suburban Paris, I also had a JW come to my door. It was even worse because my daughter was taking a nap and the bint kept pushing the button on our buzzer which is not near our front door. Our buzzer is out on street level. So, I had to go up in the rain, to tell her to stop pressing the buzzer. As I got to the top of the steps to unlock the gate door, she was just about to press it again.
Lucky for me, I have no qualms about playing the dumb foreigner who doesn’t speak French. Hehe. I told her she’d woken my daughter with her ringing (in English) and to go away. Believe it or not, this brain-mushed JW gobshite asked me if my husband spoke French, and could she make an appointment to see him?
I just pretended like I didn’t understand. I wish I was fluent in French so I could tell her to piss off properly.
Mind you, this was IN THE RAIN! They have no shame.
Dude. That was the funniest thing I have seen ALL WEEK. Thanks for the laugh:)
When I was a kid, a JW made the unfortunate choice of trying to “enlighten” my dad during the football world cup.
To this day I don’t know what he did, but they’ve never been back and a neighbour once said they told her the house was on an “avoid” list. She asked me how we managed to get on it.
Perhaps I’ll ask him one day and post it on here.
About 10 years ago, I was leaving my house to go to work and was approached by a (note: one) JW who followed me to my car and held my car door open as I tried to shut it. As soon as I grabbed her literature out of her hand, she finally let go and I slammed the door shut.
Yikes Nutty Bunny, you have more restraint than me… I would have just slammed the door with her fingers there.
Ok, so violence probably isn’t the solution, but it infuriates me that they think hassling people will help their cause. It seems to me they are turning normal people who would have no bad feeling towards them against them on purpose. You’d think a more sensible approach would be to put a giant advert in the local newspaper inviting anyone who is interested to come along to kingdom hall and be saved.
Well folks thanks for the stories, I knew I was not alone…
The one from Montreal (matt) on the metro, is priceless. I really do not know what the whole story is with JW’s, their persistance scares me a little, I mean I had a friend in college who said he and his mother had to ‘escape’ from a kingdom hall his mother married into…
These peopel are fanatical…I mean this is real david koresh type shit, well they better have marked my house “AVOID” … Little fuckers…
I dunno why they don’t give up
Two women (thats how they usually go)
knowcked the other day.
Yes?
Theres a lot of problems in the world and I wonder…
Sorry, I’m a christian…
slam!
I should put a sign on the door.:mad: