Jehovah’s Witnesses used to stop by my house all the time when I was growing up. Once we simply didn’t bother to answer the door, and I heard our door open and close. I ran up to see that the guy had actually opened our door and dropped some literature inside! (We lived out in the boonies in a quiet community; you never locked your door during the day if you were home.) I was so mad, that I stepped out in full view of them while they were getting into the car, flung the copy of the Watchtower out into our driveway, locked the outer door, stared at them, then turned and left. I looked later and it was gone; I assume they retrieved it.
When I was a teenager, I used to do training scenarios with our local law enforcement. Because of this, I had several boxes of blanks for my shotgun. One beautiful summer day, a friend of mine came over to the house and told me that the fundies were making the rounds in the neighborhood. I had a plan…
We watched for them to start coming up the walk to the house. When they were about half way up, my buddy threw open the door and ran screaming “I’m sorry!” up the street. I came out of the house with my shotgun, yelling something about him and my sister (which I don’t actually have 
) and fired three times in his general direction. Even with blanks, firing directly AT someone is a bad idea. On the second or third shot, he collapsed, rolling into the ditch on the side of the road. I looked at the menagerie on my sidewalk and calmly asked, “Hello. Can I help you?” I was met with abject silence as they backed slowly away…
Oddly enough, when the police arrived later, it was because of noise complaint called in by a neighbor. Apparently, the fundies never mentioned being eyewitnesses to a shooting…
Things you do when you’re a teenager with too much time on your hands…
Thurgin
As another poster above said, Jehova’s don’t believe that hell is a place. I’ve had Mormons come to my door before. Might have been them.
BTW, the whole Marge thing?—doesn’t work. I made the mistake of debating some Mormons on my porch. They came by once a week for months.
I second what hajario said. I was born in to a family of JW’s, and unfortunately had to participate in door-to-door work until I quit as a teenager. JW’s do not believe in Hell. They believe in a tremendous number of wacky things,which I could expound on for hours, but Hell is not one of them. As a matter of fact, not believing in Hell is part of their “Good news”.
Just make a pass at them. They’ll either not come back, or the young cute one will come back and you’ll have a good time.
Quintas I understand that JW’s do not believe in a Hell. I did a little research onto the Watchtower site and got a good picture of what they are all about. I saw other sites against JW’s and the horrible things that have been done in their name. But the point is, whether a JW or Mormon or complete jackass, you don’t come onto my porch at 8am and tell my wife she is going to be damned to hell. This occurs and I react the way I reacted. Angrily. He’s DAMN lucky I only verbally bashed him…
Last time a group showed up at my door, I simply told them that I already have my beliefs, but I appreciate thier concern on my behalf and wish them luck. They thanked me and left.
Simple as that.
People who go door to door like this are doing it out of concern for your well being, no matter how misguided. It talks a lot of guts, and there are other things they would rather be doing. Dont get me wrong, if they dont take no for an answer, or are rude about it, I have no problem being rude back, but I personally think anybone who is willing to get up off thier dead ass and try and help other people out, even if they are wrong, should be comended. Its just when they get pushy, or rude its a problem. its a step in the right general direction at least.
I think people who go door to door trying to harass people into their beleif system should be shot.
I would LOVE to lock some of them in a room with CrazyFundieNeighbor ™ and see who loses their marbles first.
CrazyFundieNeighbor thinks only fundie baptists are christians, every other religion is just wrong, and they give ‘real christians’ a bad name.
I have to go now, I am going to lie down and fantasize about a group of door-to-door wingnuts in mortal combat with CrazyFundieNeighbor.
Oh yeah… thats good stuff.
Mmmmmm better than porn…
I have to say that I agree with bdgr.
If someone so strongly believes that hell is inevitable unless Christ is accepted in their life, it makes perfect sense that they would approach their family and hope that their family members would avoid hell through that acceptance. I mean, if you believed your family was going to die in a fire one night but you could rush them outta the house by convincing them of the fire…wouldn’t you do it? I think that many people truly have their heart in the right place - they just go about it in such a jacked up manner.
Having said that, I also agree with bdgr’s second point - rudeness is not the way to go. Quite frankly, as much as I respect that someone feels strongly about their beliefs and wants to “enlighten” me, I’m inclined to tell them to fook off. Sheesh, that sounded very NIMBY, didn’t it?
Hell, I respect the work and dedication that goes into ballet but I don’t wanna watch it and I don’t wanna do it.
Tibs.
The J.H.‘s really seem to be out and about these days. This Sunday, only a few minutes after I arrived at my parents’ house for a Mother’s Day gathering, the doorbell rang. I went and answered, thinking it might be my brother’s family, who might have forgotten their key.
I didn’t even give them a chance to open their mouths. “We’re not interested”, I said, and firmly shut the door.
And that was that.
LOL- maybe that’s the REAL secret of the JW’s— free food.
Also, why wait for the crazyfundieneighbor™ to get a visit-- call up the Mormons, JW’s, Pro-Choice people (ect. . .) and ASK for a visit- give your name and address as your nutty neighbor. Then get the camcorder and record the fun!
-me
I’ve never met them myself, but a friend of mine’s father saw them coming, splattered tomato juice on his undershirt and hands, and answered the door. Gave them the full psycho treatment. It was fun watching them try to debate him while staring at his “bloody” hands. Ok, so I have weird friends.
[hijack] A group was handing out free sodas with directions to their new church downtown near another of my friends. If the Lord provides, He apparently has a deal with Pepsi :)[>hijack]
Yes yes they are entitled to their own beliefs as backward and ‘Deliverance-like’ as they may be…But why support and condone such behavior as being good and accepted.
I mean has anyone ever, ever, been accosted by an Amish person? NO!!! They haven’t. I would consider the Amish peaceful peoples who do not push their religion on others…
Why the flying fuck do JW’s have to push their way of thinking…Are they having a poor attendance problem down at the local fucking kingdom hall???
You see…there I go again, getting all hemmed up over these fucking losers…
***Oh fine I’ll say it…They are not all losers, just the one that came up to my door is a fucking inbred, back ass, fuck nut!!!
<hijack>
Damn. Have I been screwing up and bringing the wrong vacuum? 
</hijack>
I think of all the damn door-to-door fundies, the ones that I despise the most are the ones who will, rather than going to your door, spend time out in your yard, trying to talk to your children. This one actually happened to me when I was about 12. I didn’t realize exactly what had happened until I was older, and had quite a bit more perspective on the situation, and these people weren’t J.W.'s, they were Victory Chapel…but they had convinced me and two of my friends to show up to one of their church service/ ice cream socials before my father came out and told them off and told them never to come back.
[sub]clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop
BANG BANG BANG
clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop
-Amish drive-bys[/sub]
I may have posted this story here before, but I’m posting it again! 
There was this time that my friend was home alone when two JWs knocked on his door. He invited them in for tea, keeping in mind his mother’s injuction: “You have to be nice to people who come to the door…”
So while they were trying to tell him what they believed and why they believed it (and why he should believe it, as well… mind you, my friend is a Christian), my friend answered them with lines like:
“You know, it must take a lot of faith to believe in a fake religion.”
“How can you believe in a fake religion? Aren’t you afraid that God will condemn you to hell for doing so?”
That was pretty funny when he told us the story; I don’t know if those two have been back to his place yet or not!
I may have posted this story here before, but I’m posting it again!
There was this time that my friend was home alone when two JWs knocked on his door. He invited them in for tea, keeping in mind his mother’s injuction: “You have to be nice to people who come to the door…”
So while they were trying to tell him what they believed and why they believed it (and why he should believe it, as well… mind you, my friend is a Christian), my friend answered them with lines like:
“You know, it must take a lot of faith to believe in a fake religion.”
“How can you believe in a fake religion? Aren’t you afraid that God will condemn you to hell for doing so?”
That was pretty funny when he told us the story; I don’t know if those two have been back to his place yet or not!
Wow… an 18-minute delay between double-posts. And I thought that the browser couldn’t connect to the server, therefore my reply must have been lost. Whoops.
What used to really piss me off is the JW from my area sent small children to our door. I guess they thought people wouldn’t slam a door in a kids face.
When I was pregnant and they kept trying to convince me not to have the baby in the Hospital. They wanted to deliver it at one of their homes.
Also I once gave a child a bookbag with Santa on it once. Her father started to scream at me, and threw the bag in my face. Unfortunately I was at work and not allowed to tell him where to stuff it.
I had the pleasure of a call fron the JW’s once when I was living with a male friend of mine.
He (my friend) invited them in, sat them down, made them a cup of tea, then proceeded to put his hand on one guys knee and tell him how “interesting” these things were…
I’ve never seen anyone move so fast!
ha ha ha! Damn it was funny!
I had 3 (2 men 1 girl 2ed guy must of been in training cause he never made a peep) show up on my doorstep about 6-8 weeks ago (most deff. JW had Watchtower in hand) anyhoo…
JW: We would like a min. of your time …blaa blaa blaa
me: I am sorry I wouldn’t want you to waste you time I am not inerested and I don’t beleave in God
JW: How can you see all that God does and not beleave
me: I am a witch
yes i really am…ya a bitch too just ask me I’ll tell ya
JW::eek:
me:
JW: (the lady finialy speeks) you mean you have fallen into the fad of Wicca
me: NOooooo, Wiccans feel that you should only do “Good” “ye harm non” and all that jazz. I am a WITCH I feel that nothing is black or white, if you do good you do bad if there is a God there is a Devil.
JW: (guy again) wow never meet someone who admitted to being a witch before, aren’t you afraid of people would say when they find out?
me: Nope, are you when you tell people you are a JW?
They thank me for my time and go on there way, and haven’t seen hide nor hair of them since dang and I need 3 vergins for a spell this weekend…just kidding