If they’re men, I’ll seduce them.
I have never understood people who use that approach to convey their “message.”
I stand by my religion and I’ll share it with anybody who is interested in hearing my take on it…but I will not force my beliefs on someone and I would NEVER invade their space or their home and behave in such a rude manner.
One of my best friends to this day is agnostic. We have discussed religion numerous times. She told me recently that the reason she always respected my opinion was that I never tried to beat her over the head with it, but I just talked to her when she wanted to talk and dropped it when she wanted the topic dropped.
I am sorry you had this experience but unfortunately, it seems to happen all too often.
I don’t believe I’ve ever had someone brave enough to try it on me. I’ve been known to kill solicitors with a brief look from well over 20 feet.
Love it, Love it.
FB
My partner’s late father LOVED Witnesses – he’d invite them in, give them tea and biskies – and yes, pie – just get them all comfy…thing is, he was a Methodist minister, and by the time he was through with them (‘Well, y’all don’t have to leave yet, do ya? There’s more pie!’) they couldn’t get back out the door fast enough.
In fact, one rainy Saturday, he was just hanging about the house, annoying my partner’s mum to no end since he was bored & underfoot, she finally snapped, ‘Harold, I wish the good Lord would send you a couple of Witnesses to play with!’ and about 30 seconds later the doorchimes went…
My mum taught me that actually the best thing to say to people like that, when they come to the door, is ‘Oh, hallo! I’m Catholic,’ (which she is) – they fall over themselves trying to escape…she thinks perhaps they figure she’s too far gone?
Better yet, whilst still inside your partner.
Or, to really scare them, your same sex partner. :eek: 
Oh, come in, come in! TOM HONEY, the JWs are here! Hold on a sec and I’ll have my husband make you some tea.
Phlosphr, when I was little we had a german shepherd named Satan.
He would answer to commands given in German. He wasn’t a mean dog…except he didn’t like my Raggedy Ann & Andy dolls. He ate their faces off.
You know, there’s nothing more offensive than someone telling you just how horrible a person you are. Living in SIN! You’re going to HELL!
Um…well, I’d rather go to hell than have deal with you in your supposedly blissful afterlife.
For some reason when I say ‘atheist’, it makes them try harder - like you’re a clean slate or something. When my friend who is christian tells them her religion, they are not interested?
There seems to be little understanding of atheism - I grew up this way, I didn’t reject any religion to be this way. The idea of a supreme being is a totally alien concept to me. Whereas someone who is already christian, obviously already believes in a supreme being, and may not be as difficult to persuade?
In a way, I prefer the adults coming to the door - at least there is some chance that they have thought through their beliefs and have a good understanding of them. Sending 18 year olds all over the world for 2 years to spread the world, feels insulting to me. What could an 18 year old possibly tell me that would persuade me to join?
After you get your attack Siamese, you can sic’ both the kitty and the doggy on 'em.
My friend’s dad is a professor of Classics. He invited two JWs up to his study once with the words “I’ve been waiting for you”, and after 2 hours they came down, severely questioning their faith.
A couple of fundamentalists dropped by my step-daughter’s house. She explained patiently that they were Catholic and not really interested in attending their church. They seemed to hesitate until my five year old grandson said, “Would you like a beerah?”
Well put.
Glad to see so many atheists out for this thread. The recent pro-Mormon thread had me worried about the SDMB demographics.
Even if they’re ugly men? Boy, the sacrifices you make!
Someone earlier said that the JWs will often ignore “No Solicitations” signs, as they don’t feel they’re selling anything.
They don’t feel they’re selling the Lord? 
Anyway, I take the Guin approach. There are two guys who walk this apartment complex occasionally, dressed alike and carrying a book under the arm. And knock, knock, knocking on every door.
Last time I had JWs visit, I asked if they’d like to sample the meth I had just cooked up. After all, “first one’s free”.
If I see them wandering the neighborhood, I blast Type O Negative, Nashville Pussy or if I’m feeling particularly cranky, Anal Cunt. For some reason, the song “Go Motherfucker Go” seems to make them hesitant to knock…
Last time any JWs came by here:
JW: “Hello sir, we were wondering if…”
Me: “Hold up. Let me ask you this: If I came to your house, with some Buddhist literature and some well-rehearsed sayings, do you think I’d have any chance at all in converting you to Buddhism?”
JW: “Certainly not. My faith is…”
Me: “Then why on earth do you honestly expect me to change mine when you come to my door?”
JW: (Visible signs of mental gears stripping)
Me: “That’s what I thought. Good day.”
(Firmly close door, not quite slamming it.)
finis
Doc Nickel, that’s excellent. If and when I next receive a visit, I’ll be sure to use that method. It seems perfectly fair and not designed to scare or insult anyone. Thanks!
Heh. After chatting with my Mom one day, we decided that the next JW who showed up upon our doorstop would be told this…
“Oh really? By any chance, would you mind coming in and helping us screen our porno movies?”
-or=
“Oh really? By any chance, would you mind coming in and helping us finish up our home-made porno movie?”
Oddly enough, once we decided that… there hasn’t been any JW’s (or witnessess for any other religion) showing up at our house. 
<< Courage is your greatest present need. >>
Y’know, I was babysitting my friend’s kids on a last minute thing the other day. There’s been a few issues going on, so there was a no visitor rule.
When two women I did not know pulled up and knocked on the door, I sent the kids to their rooms. The li’l girl noted that they were from a local church. Knowing that the girl herself went to a church group, I assumed they were from HER church.
Oh, how wrong poultry can be.
Anyway, these elderly (can I still use that word?) were nice enough so I didn’t shush them away. What got me annoyed was the fact that even though I proved to be generally knowledgable of the good book (Man, that guy can write, but the ending’s a downer) they still treated me as if I knew nothing.
JW: “…and God has been challenged…”
Me: “Oh yeah, Lucifer, the Morningstar, banished to the realm of Hell after trying to usurp God’s throne.”
JW: “Exactly! See there was this guy who wanted God’s power…”
Me: “Yeah, I just…”
JW: “…and he couldn’t…”
Me: “I know, I said…”
Anyway, I didn’t want to just push them away because they seemed nice enough, just oblivious to the fact that I was not your run-of-the-mill “What’s God?” knownothing.
So this goes on for a half hour, and I go inside, drop the copy of the watchtower on my friend’s computer desk, and sigh.
Then I remember, and look down at my shirt. Then I look to the kids playing the Gamecube I brought over for that day.
“How long did you plan to leave me out there without reminding me I’m wearing a t-shirt that says ‘SinFest’ on it?”
According to family legend, my grandfather nearly converted some Witnesses to Catholicism. Which is strange, as he was raised Lutheran and then lapsed. I think he just wanted to prove he could.