Wives With Knives

Cafe Society
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There’s a show on the ID channel I’ve never watched, called Wives With Knives. ISTR there was another show that had a ‘cute’ name, but I don’t remember it. Remember City Confidential? Paul Winfield was hilarious with his similes, and I’ve seen other shows that attempted to duplicate them (with less success). Anyway, whenever I see the Wives With Knives promos, I think they should have another series:

Nuns With Guns

Maybe there could be one called Dopes With Ropes about murderers who strangle their victims, or use ropes in another significant manner.

How about a series of church leaders who are firebugs? Parsons With Arson.

Exes With Axes, maybe?

Curmudgeons With Bludgeons?

Gran’mars With Hammers? (OK, that’s a bit of a stretch. But narrators do like their accents on that channel.)

Boyfriends who are archers could be Beaus With Bows.

It would probably be a short series since I can’t think of any murders committed by this group with this weapon, but… Baristas With Ballistas.

Jerks With Dirks?

Neighbours With Sabres?

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Libertines with Guillotines

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Girls who shoot their uncles, on Nieces with Pieces.

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*Jocks with Glocks

Schnausers with Mausers

Goils with Foils

Porters with Mortars

Canons with Cannons

Dykes with Pikes*

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I was trying to think of one to go with ‘pikes’, but the only thing I could think of was more offensive.

.

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*Basses with Maces

Hazers with Lasers

Shoguns with Blowguns
*

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Lords with Swords
That one actually makes sense

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Marjories with Morningstars

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Bananas in Pajamas with Katanas

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*Moms with Bombs

Retards with Petards*
Doubly politically incorrect, that last one.

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*Yanks with Tanks

Farriers with Carriers

Seymours with Claymores*

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*Pepes with Epees

Lombards with Halbards

Floozies with Uzis*

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I really like this one.

I’m going to steal it.

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Provocatively-dressed sexually-teasing women who release clouds of deadly intestinal gas:

Tarts With Farts

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Rappers with rapiers - for those Elizabethan boyz n the hood.

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Well, you could always go with

Tykes with Pikes
and not offend anyone.

Except people who object to little kids carrying long killing implements.

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Sons With Guns

Daughters Who Slaughter

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I think we can all agree that CalMeacham has the day after Thanksgiving off!

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No – I just have a prolific imagination. I put these down at my desk between writing a report.
I like Shoguns with Blowguns best, myself.

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Dumb*ucks with numchuks

weavers with cleavers

neighbors with sabres (first episode: How to deal with Jehovah’s Witnesses.)

Males with flails

Pauls with mauls

Guys with scythes

Rousseaus with crossbows

Zappas with Nzappa zaps

Barristas with ballistas

Pukes with nukes

Palookas with bazookas