Now that’s a spicy a-meatball!
Hey, I don’t appreciate you talking about my little lady like that.
Yes, this is obviously a hoax. No way would my Shaniqua settle for a dinky Jimmy Dean link when she can have my big kielbasa any time she wants.
It looks like the “news” is fake.
But the pic is of a real person. Who regardless of her station in life still gets to go to work tomorrow & face the people there, and the folks in church, and wherever she really shops for groceries, etc.
I’d sure hate to be that person. I’m not sure what’s an appropriate penalty for the person who made up the prank and put this woman’s face on it. But if I was King it’d be significant.
What if the effects of her picture appearing with this story ends up being positive? We have no idea where she’s starting from.
Did you ask that when that guy got arrested for stamping his foot in a men’s room stall?
Those sausages are too thick, I’m thinking a nice Bridgeford Pepperoni would do the trick.
I like the “inappropriately pleasing herself” part of the quote - is there an ‘appropriate’ way that would not have gotten her arrested?
I’m unfamiliar with the brand, which we don’t have over here. Are we talking salami or cocktail chipolatas?
From my childhood:
*Jimmy Dean Sausage tastes so good,
You can feed it to your dog, you can fry it on your hood.
Jimmy Dean Sausage tastes so swell,
Rome ate it Rome fell.*
I think there might be another line I could add after this story!
I’d say the packaging* is more important than the brand.
*Think “liver sausage”.
As Snopes says, the whole thing is made up and different sausage brands appear in different versions of the story.
Both brands mentioned are from mainstream US food megacorps which sell everything from loose sausage meat to jumbo meat tubes the size of your forearm.
The obvious intent of the story is for each reader to pick whichever size/style they personally find most snigger-worthy and apply that to the hapless woman whose picture was chosen for the hoax.
We should be glad if this is the wurst thing she’s done.
I didn’t realize that Alexander Portnoy had a daughter.
And I wonder if this ties in with processed meat products being bad for you.
[Jimmy Dean]
“Shaniqua Johnson? Tell her she’s fired!”
[/JD]
I see what you did there.
Exploitation director Joseph W. Sarno had a scene of a woman pleasuring herself with a very large sausage in his 1978 film Fäbodjäntan. It’s been a while, but it was at least as thick as a package of Jimmy Dean sausage.
Looking at that Wallcreature’s picture, she isn’t the first in her family to mate with a hog.
I admit, I’m kinda sorry this story is fake. It gave me a good laugh.
Especially murder. Let the poor man getting murdered take his dump in peace.
Your turn, Thumper…