Just about every guy I know has experienced this at some point… Your (female friend, girlfriend, wife, ect.) would like you to do something, but you are reluctant. You aren’t refusing unequivically, you’re just reluctant. BAM! Out come the sad eyes. You know the ones-- the kinda sad/playful/pleading eyes that make it that much harder to say “no.” The eyes that for some reason tug at your resolve more than a logical discourse could.
At the risk of sounding sexist (which I don’t think I am) I would like to say that the majority of women possess this skill.
Is this something that just happens naturally like a reflex reaction? Is this something that a young girl discovers? Why does it bring about a “melting” reaction in the male counterpart? Guys, am I alone here? Ladies, do you know any guys who have used “the eyes” against you?
Let’s get to the bottom of this thing people!! (please?..sniff…please?.. <flashes sad eyes>)
Daerlyn
OK, but now I must inquire… When did you realize you had this power? Have you always used it consciously to your advantage? It’s most intriguing that you can wield “the eyes” even against another female.
This is an acquired art, that most women master at a young age. Why? To pursuade daddy of course. It begins with learning to wrap daddy around your little finger with those eyes.
Men can do it too, but of course, women are also taught at a young age to ignore it in the male species. My dog can do it too.
I first used it on one of my boyfriends in high school. It was purely by accident. He didn’t want to do something that I wanted to do so I instinctively looked sad by raising my eyebrows and forehead up slightly. I immediately saw that his resolve was breaking and realized that I had an incredible power here. I have sinced used that on all my boyfriends to get what I want. I’ve only used it on my boyfriends however. I don’t really think it would work much on anyone else.
I’ve never even heard of this…but it does explain something about my boyfriend: when I feel bad about something my voice gets small and tremulous. Two or three times he told me, “don’t use that voice on me!” He thought I was ‘putting on’ the vocal expression as a manipulation technique.
I have five younger sisters, the youngest being 8, and we’re all pros. I, of course, being the oldest, taught the others, when I found out at a young age that it worked on my dad. But the downside is guys can develop a resistance to it if it is used too much. You just have to know when to use the sad eyes and when not to. it’s an art form, really…Excuse me while I go practice on some poor unsuspecting guy.
I am not immune to the effects of the Puppy Dog Eyes, but that doesn’t mean I give in. I just give her a look of my own, which is the “if you try that again you will be a headless torso in a drainage ditch near the highway” eyes.
Fortunately, most girls are scared of me without it so I don’t need to do it very often.
With my boyfriend, I’ve found that the best combination is the Slow Upturning of Head Followed by the Sad Look and Slightly Pouty Lips. Gets him every time!
I think I just learned it over time. I didn’t do it on my dad - if I wanted something, I would argue or bitch, not look pouty.
I had a female friend at work who was a pro at the look and called it her “Baby-harp-seal-about-to-be-clubbed-to-death” look - disgusting, but descriptive, no?
At the risk of sounding unintentionally sexist here (definitely NOT my intent), doesn’t the use of the “sad eyes” look correlate with being in a weaker position in a relationship? In other words, if a person feels that the other person in the relationship has the upper hand regarding a specific issue, then the weaker person uses the “sad eyes” in an attempt to get the stronger person to capitulate. That being said, then, given the traditional gender roles in our society, it seems understandable that females would be much more likely to use this tactic during negotiations. An interesting question might be, given the (hopefully) strengthening role of women in our society, are we seeing change in who uses the “sad eyes” look? Are men using it more?
Wasn’t Princess Diana famous for a variant of the “sad eyes” look - head slightly down, looking up at the camera? I wonder what that says about her appeal to the masses?
