Great OP - and I don’t get a male pretending to be a woman vibe from it at all - what I get is a I’m a witty, independent woman.
I’m also a woman and I agree wholeheartedly with the OP - maybe because of the cultural difference (I’m European)? Here most wedding rings don’t even cost half as much as most of the engagement rings I’ve heard about even here on the dope. Why does how much he loves you have to be measured by how many money he’s willing to use on a ring?
Personally I’d rather get gifts that show me my partner knows what I like than getting jewelry willy-nilly.
If the OP had said something along the lines of “Why won’t they date meeee?” I might agree with you. But the passive-aggressive vibe necessary for a Nice Guy/Girl label isn’t really there, so far as I can tell.
Beats me. I’ve never gotten that either. A ring’s nice to flaunt to the world that I am engaged, but it didn’t break the bank. And buying it certainly didn’t grant him any nookie.
I agree that the OP was well written and I too would welcome A Priori Teato the board. That being said, I don’t find anything about the subject matter original or particularly accurate. I know the concept of women whoring themselves out for baubles is age old and I suppose still practiced by some, but is it really relevant in 2007? I swear I’m not trying to be snarky or hostile toward A Priori Tea, it’s just that I don’t know nor have I known any woman who has this mindset(or at least not admittedly) so I’m not really relating here. It feels like a tired stereotype.
Sorry, that doesn’t sound like much of a welcome. But I really do hope you stay, A Priori Tea.
After a particularly annoying example of this on tv, my husband says in a nice, deep, announcer voice, “It’ll get you laid!” Heh.
(Do you all think we can stop sucking A Priori’s dick here, people? This is freaking embarrassing. Are we really this desperate for new posters that you think we have to grovel like we have in this thread?)
Absolutely. And I say unto you: do not knock the value of a good-looking but shallow woman whose affections can be purchased with some trinket you bought at the Galleria of Jewelry. These chicks are great. I mean, really great. I date them all the time.
And here’s the nice part about this: as a guy, you feel a greatly reduced emotional commitment. She’s basically an adornment at that point. As soon as you find someone remotely more qualified, she’s outta there. Say byedy bye to the highscrapers.
These women are a marvel for guys who can afford them and don’t have much free time. The dumbies are the men pathetic enough to confuse them with a real relationship, and the women who don’t appreciate how knob polishing in exchange for car payments and new shoes has a limited future. And the best part is that most of them have fairly pleb tastes, I mean how much damage can someone do at Sunglass Hut?
On your nerves after a long day?
Ignore her, she’s there for the money.
Whining about her job and how much she wants to quit and just “hang around”?
Laugh and nod like that’s actually going to happen someday on your dime.
Want to make her happy?
Buy her something.
Witchy McBitchface making too many appearances?
Dump her, no guilt.
I liked the style and content of the OP. If the concepts outlined are not new, they were, IMHO, well expressed. Is this poster a male? female? I couldn’t be bothered to wonder, much less care. Maybe I’m just not intellectually curious enough. I still enjoyed the OP.
It feels like a tired and offensive stereotype. Yeah, I know those women are out there - but if they and their significant others are happy with the arrangement, I’m not really in a position to judge. Some of the rest of us women just like sparkley shiny stuff. Some of us like diamonds. Some of us prefer amethysts. Some of us like art jewelry. Some of us like other - frankly expensive - luxury goods. We went six pages or something this summer on $500 purses (I think those we almost uniformly purchase ourselves - perhaps we reward ourselves for the Dooney & Bourke handbag with an hour with our vibrator and a glass of wine.).
And some of the guys out there just like giving their partners presents they will enjoy - that will light up their eyes. That they will take out and wear on special occasions - or every day.
I’m wondering what I’m supposed to do? If Brainiac4 gives me jewelry, should I withhold sex out of principal? For how long - is a week per caret sufficient to prove my non-whoreness? Should I throw it in his face and act insulted that he would think I was one of those girls?
JUST KIDDING. Well, it might be true (in which case it’s a little less funny)but in that case, aren’t both parties getting what they want? I don’t see a problem.
Now I’m only wondering what’s wrong with me that no one is offering to make *my * car payment.
You make a pretty good point, Dangerosa. It is a stereotype, and not by any stretch a new one. I think that it comes across as irrelevant somewhat because I did limit it to sex, and didn’t start in on the idea that very often it’s more about emotional blackmail than actual nookie. I think that’s a pretty complicated topic, and didn’t really want to try and navigate those waters in my first Pit rant.
I enjoy shiny things - I like toys and baubles and fun new stuff as much as the next person. (I think that that’s much more a human trait than a female trait, but guys get off the hook on it more, because they can more easily pretend that their toys are practical.) I don’t by any stretch think that every woman who enjoys getting gifts from a sexual partner is part of the problem; that would make me a bigger hypocrite than I would want to admit. To me, the problem is one of attitude and willingness to manipulate. You don’t have to withhold sex after getting a gift. Hell, you don’t have to agree with me at all, or give a damn what I think of you. But if you’re looking for my ideal solution, you (generic female you) would not attach the availability of sex or the stability of the relationship or your willingness to show your partner that you’re happy to how long it’s been since the last time your partner bought you something nice. It’s entirely too easy for your average het woman to twist your average het man around with her ability to be unhappy the minute she discovers something she wants but can’t have.
I suppose that, at its core, my anger is about the disparity of ability to deal with emotional manipulation. What I see, in a fair number of het relationships to which I am exposed on a regular basis, is women in those relationships demanding material things in order to give back the minimum they feel they have to in order to keep “their man” happy. I don’t like that mindset, and don’t appreciate it - mostly because, as a woman, it reflects somewhat on me. I’m tired of having to retrain my new partners to understand that I am not like that, and I’m tired of seeing the bullshit that other people’s baggage brings to the table when they come out of a relationship with a woman like that. Honestly, if both partners were or are happy with the arrangement, I don’t have a problem with it. I have not yet seen a single example of that, though, so I don’t have any evidence that it happens often, if at all.
On re-read, that whole last paragraph is still true, but seems to be indicative of the kind of relationships I’m exposed to - so maybe I am getting a pretty biased sample that I wasn’t aware of. Thanks, Dangerosa, for giving me food for thought! On the subject of dick-sucking - I won’t say I don’t enjoy it, and if the ones I’ve got wear out, I know where to buy more. Seriously, thank you for the warm welcome; I sort of expected to get torn to shreds for this one, and am quite pleasantly surprised.
Ah. That explains the “date them” comment that I found jarring. Very glad to see it was a misapprehension on my part, as I thoroughly enjoyed your OP – not least because, as a woman who writes long sentences with multiple clauses (not to mention a somewhat excessive tendency toward the parenthetical), I don’t in the least consider such a writing style to be a barometer of gender.
Women of the world who make English teachers cry trying to parse their sentences (no matter how well constructed - nay - artfully and lovingly crafted they may be), unite!
Of course you realize, I’m going to be using “a somewhat excessive tendency toward the parenthetical” all day. That’s an awesome phrase.
Both the last part of the sig, and realizing that the reason I wasn’t seeing sigs was an option in my CP. I’m just waiting to find a really good Women And Badinage site, so I can give them all my earthly goods.
Don’t feel bad, A Priori Tea, Zoe said she thought I wrote like a man too. I think that’s her misandrist way of saying she doesn’t like you. No big loss there, don’t worry.
There aren’t enough :rolleyes: for this lame little jibe. You are a piece of work, Zoe.
Whoops. Just in case there’s any confusion, I wasn’t implying that the OP was lying about her gender here, just that, for a chick, she writes like a dude. And yes, I swear that there really is such a thing as a male or female writing style.
It’s not so much the frequency of those clauses, but rather the way that they’re used. No, I have no idea how to even begin to explain what I mean.
Wow, somebody’s on the rag. Fellas, amiright? Amiright? Yeah high five Now just calm your pretty little head down while the men watch football. If you’re good, we can go look at jewelry.
Seriously, thank you for the warm welcome; I sort of expected to get torn to shreds for this one, and am quite pleasantly surprised.