[QUOTE=Dangerosa]
It feels like a tired and offensive stereotype. Yeah, I know those women are out there - but if they and their significant others are happy with the arrangement, I’m not really in a position to judge. Some of the rest of us women just like sparkley shiny stuff. Some of us like diamonds. Some of us prefer amethysts. Some of us like art jewelry. Some of us like other - frankly expensive - luxury goods. We went six pages or something this summer on $500 purses (I think those we almost uniformly purchase ourselves - perhaps we reward ourselves for the Dooney & Bourke handbag with an hour with our vibrator and a glass of wine.).
And some of the guys out there just like giving their partners presents they will enjoy - that will light up their eyes. That they will take out and wear on special occasions - or every day.
I’m wondering what I’m supposed to do? If Brainiac4 gives me jewelry, should I withhold sex out of principal? For how long - is a week per caret sufficient to prove my non-whoreness? Should I throw it in his face and act insulted that he would think I was one of those girls?
[/QUOTE]
You make a pretty good point, Dangerosa. It is a stereotype, and not by any stretch a new one. I think that it comes across as irrelevant somewhat because I did limit it to sex, and didn’t start in on the idea that very often it’s more about emotional blackmail than actual nookie. I think that’s a pretty complicated topic, and didn’t really want to try and navigate those waters in my first Pit rant.
I enjoy shiny things - I like toys and baubles and fun new stuff as much as the next person. (I think that that’s much more a human trait than a female trait, but guys get off the hook on it more, because they can more easily pretend that their toys are practical.) I don’t by any stretch think that every woman who enjoys getting gifts from a sexual partner is part of the problem; that would make me a bigger hypocrite than I would want to admit. 
To me, the problem is one of attitude and willingness to manipulate. You don’t have to withhold sex after getting a gift. Hell, you don’t have to agree with me at all, or give a damn what I think of you. But if you’re looking for my ideal solution, you (generic female you) would not attach the availability of sex or the stability of the relationship or your willingness to show your partner that you’re happy to how long it’s been since the last time your partner bought you something nice. It’s entirely too easy for your average het woman to twist your average het man around with her ability to be unhappy the minute she discovers something she wants but can’t have.
I suppose that, at its core, my anger is about the disparity of ability to deal with emotional manipulation. What I see, in a fair number of het relationships to which I am exposed on a regular basis, is women in those relationships demanding material things in order to give back the minimum they feel they have to in order to keep “their man” happy. I don’t like that mindset, and don’t appreciate it - mostly because, as a woman, it reflects somewhat on me. I’m tired of having to retrain my new partners to understand that I am not like that, and I’m tired of seeing the bullshit that other people’s baggage brings to the table when they come out of a relationship with a woman like that. Honestly, if both partners were or are happy with the arrangement, I don’t have a problem with it. I have not yet seen a single example of that, though, so I don’t have any evidence that it happens often, if at all.
On re-read, that whole last paragraph is still true, but seems to be indicative of the kind of relationships I’m exposed to - so maybe I am getting a pretty biased sample that I wasn’t aware of. Thanks, Dangerosa, for giving me food for thought! On the subject of dick-sucking - I won’t say I don’t enjoy it, and if the ones I’ve got wear out, I know where to buy more. 
Seriously, thank you for the warm welcome; I sort of expected to get torn to shreds for this one, and am quite pleasantly surprised.
