Yeah, we don’t do that because we aren’t strong enough to do it easily. If chimps could invent guns they totally would. They go to war human-style, you know. Personally, my criteria for pets includes “does not go to war”.
hell island by matt reilly has primates going to war.
personally i would rather have a big cat as a “pet” than a primate or monkey. the monkey house was never my favourite part of the zoo.
Though if kittens could go to war … that would be awesomely cute. 
“Major Whiskers reporting for duty, General Snugglepuss! The yarn-ball cat-apults are ready for action.”
I hae to draw the line at the safe side of “is capable of ripping my face off”.
It is bad enough knowing that if I die my cats will wait up to 3 days before eating me, if I am lucky. A dog will wait 7 days on average.
Thats only because the leg humping gets too damn skeevy after day six.
Adds moist cat food,
dry dog food to grocery list
Oh yeah, kittens going to war:
Link safe for work, but you might wanna turn down the volume to start with.
My dog is more than capable of ripping my face off, should he decide to.
Someone, somewhere calculated the statistics on this…behavior.
You can’t release them into the wild, and sanctuaries for former pet exist, but are full and hard to fund.
And when it rips a neighbors kids face off we’ll start a thread about how stupid it is to own a beast you can’t easily control, too.
Face-On.
Apply directly to the forehead.
Apply directly to the forehead.
Apply directly to the forehead.
Bumping this older thread, Charla Nash has now renewed a bid to seek $150 million in damages from the state of Connecticut, asking lawmakers Friday to accept her argument that the state had a duty to seize the allegedly dangerous animal.
I quite disagree with this line of reasoning.
Best user name / post combo.
Okay, old thread, but I’ll throw in an idea that I’ve had kicking around in my brain-pan since this happened.
I wonder if the chimp was suffering from Xanax withdrawal at the time.
Xanax is a benzodiazepine. Benzos are known to be extremely addictive, and Xanax is one of the more addictive among them. Benzo withdrawal is seriously nasty (ask me how I know that), and said by some to be tougher to kick than heroin.
If Herald was using Xanax to manage the chimp’s behavior (and she certainly wasn’t doing it under a vet’s supervision), and she was using the drug irregularly, I can imagine it’s entirely plausible.
I wondered about that, too, until I read the current linked article.
From The Article
Withdrawal wasn’t the problem that day. There were plenty of other problems to go around, though.
So does most of Connecticut and anyone else with a functioning brain.
I sincerely sympathize with Ms. Nash’s plight - what happened to her shouldn’t happen to any living creature. But to say she was negligent and culpable is a massive understatement. She repeatedly visited the house and she willingly went that day when the owner said the chimp was agitated and she needed help corralling him. Where was her concern that the animal was dangerous over those months (years, actually, I think)? Not one call to DEEP or any authority about a potentially dangerous situation? Where was her own judgement in not saying, “No, honey, you need to call some pros to help you corral a 200-pound animal that could literally rip you to pieces”?
Nope, only after exercising a total lack of regard for the danger and voluntarily walking into what she knew could be a highly dangerous, even fatal situation did she decide that the state should have proactively protected her, and now owes her massive damages on top of medical and support.
No. We owe her nothing, not even an expensive hearing to try and validate her claim.