Oink right alongside me, dear.
There’s a saying in basketball, “You can’t coach height.”
Good in bed you can teach. Hunky, not so much.
::Waves both hands frantically::
I’ve got both and I’m as ugly as a slaters nailbag.
please choose me, I’ll be ever so grateful
ugly guy every time
But… how did you get there without choosing first? 
by allowing each of them to woo me and then picking the one I liked best, then pursuing a courtship, then falling in love. 
Studies say you should skip 007 and go for Q, if you want to be happy.
So if he can’t dance, but knows how to hook up your stereo system, he’s the one you want.
C’mon folks… sing along!!!
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife…
Oh shit, that made me laugh! A little part of my heart is now yours.
I’m afraid sex is still out of the question. 
Between this thread and the other one, I’m glad I’m not the only one who had this song in mind. 
The story of my life, ugly and rejected, bugger it 
Even better if he’s comfortable letting me hook up the stereo system! Gagets are so fun.
(Underline mine). Only if they’re willing to learn. For me, the first indicator that someone will suck in bed and continue to do so (and not in a good way) is when they’re not able to read such subtle signs as me saying, and maybe repeating once or twice, “uh, honey, please don’t. Bite.”
If they can read signs (even if the sign needs to be painted on the headboard on red, flashing neon), then they don’t suck in bed; if they don’t give a shit about your opinion, then they will suck in bed - for ever and ever, amen.
I didn’t know Sonny Boy Williamson or his lover, but I’m willing to bet she didn’t learn how to do that from a book.
The guy needs to be attentive to what I like, and to be turned on by seeing ME turned on. He needs to tell me in a deliciously salacious way what he likes me to do for him. He needs to be visibly aroused in response to my pleasure. He needs to show it when he’s aroused and feeling pleasure, especially if I’m following his advice on what I can do for him.
None of the above has anything to do with looks. Gimmee the ugly guy with talent every time. (He can’t smell bad, though.)
That’s a tough one? I had a average looking guy just lay there, barely touched me, told me he had the nicest skin and all he wanted was a BJ. There might possibly be a reason he has been single so long? Making an effort is so important, so I might have to go with the ugly or none at all.
The hot one. And no matter how passive he was I’d probably be able to enjoy myself, at least a bit.
Most people totally repulse me sexually no matter their looks, personality, etc. And I’m pretty shallow, I’ve never had an iota of attraction to someone who wasn’t easy on the eyes. I simply could never be intimate with someone I found ‘ugly’. I’d rather go without sex forever.
The main problem with this question is that (many) women have different criteria than do men. Objective physical attractiveness is great, but to me/us “attractive” has many facets. The guy I’m dating right now is cute enough, but what really gets my heart thumping is when he smiles at me. We are also very compatible without being clones, we have similar senses of humor, and we have pretty good chemistry. A pretty guy with a great smile who doesn’t click with me wouldn’t turn me on in the least. I might sigh over a picture of … oh I dunno, George Clooney … but if we met and there wasn’t any personal zing, he wouldn’t turn me on at all. On the other hand, I’ve had crushes on guys who wouldn’t be anybody’s idea of Mr. Universe because of personality and compatibility.
I already prefer fat guys. I’d do Drew Carey in a New York minute. Or that other blonde fat guy uhhh, what’s his name… from the devil knows you’re dead movie… with the deep voice, who fucked Marisa Tomei. Love that guy!
And now we see that Zombie Depp is the correct answer to the question.